Something About Max
by heyfriday
Summary: In twelve months you can do a lot of things; complete a year of high school, enjoy a relaxing summer, go to band camp, drink over 200 slurpees, form a band, live or die. In twelve months you can fall in love. The final rewrite is complete.
1. Chapter 1

I followed Grace into the dimly lit basement. It was a room I had been in a hundred times. The floor was barely visible through the musical mess. Drumsticks littered the floor, some whole while others were broken, along with lone guitar picks, an old microphone, a broken snare drum, and a beautiful bass guitar. I picked up one of the drumsticks, spinning it in my hand as I threw myself into one of three beanbag chairs.

"Hayley, I wouldn't play with that if I were you," Grace warned, though I always messed with the sticks. I loved to pretend that I knew how to play the drums, ever since I had 'discovered' Lars Ulrich, one of the greatest drummers of all time, at least in my opinion.

"Why not Grace?" though I had heard the warning a thousand times.

"Max is going to freak if he catches you with it, and you know it."

Max was Grace's seventeen-year-old brother. The mess on the floor was all his. He was in the local band, Automatic Reaction, which was metal, something I rarely listened to, though something I listened to all the same.

"Grace, you've told me that a thousand times, and never once has he caught me." The drumstick spun out of my hand, landing with a dull thud on the carpet. "And I highly doubt he'd freak out," I added, picking it up and beating it against my leg.

"Hayley, if the President of the United States came over and touched one of his drumsticks, he would freak out."

She sighed, but dropped the subject, instead turning on the small television, and flipping through the channels. I shrugged, beating a random rhythm on my leg and gazing around the room. What I wouldn't give to be this musical. All I had at home was the keyboard that my grandfather had left behind for me when he had died from cancer six years earlier. I had taught myself how to play, even writing my own songs, all of which had been dedicated to my grandpa.

The basement door slammed open suddenly, bringing me back to reality. I glanced up quickly and saw Max racing into the room. Looking over at Grace, I caught her quick glance to me before her gaze settled in annoyance on her brother.

"Could you please not slam the door, Max?" Grace asked him, exasperated. With both of them having such strong personalities, it was rare when they actually got along.

He did not answer, instead picking through the drumsticks on the floor until he found the one he wanted. Noticing me for the first time then, his eyes went to the stick in my hand. My heart jumped.

"Is that the other 5B Hickory, Hayley?" he asked me, strangely calm, at least from what Grace had said.

"Yeah, it is," I said, checking the label on the end of the stick. He held out his hand and I tossed it to him. Catching it, he shoved the pair into the back pocket of his jeans.

"Thanks," he said, a smirk tugging on the corner of his lips before he turned to Grace. "Where's Mom?"

"Kickboxing," she replied absentmindedly, glancing between Max and me.

"Alright, well I have a show in Marlin, so I won't be back until eleven or so."

Turning, he left the room, leaving the door wide open, allowing me to look after him as he loped easily away, drumsticks in his pocket. I heard Grace let out a slow breath but still watched through the doorway though he was long gone.

"Wonder why he didn't freak…" she said quietly and I could feel her eyes on me, not accusingly just curious.

I finally turned and look at her, shrugging as I settled deeper into the bean bag chair. "Maybe he was having a good day," I suggested, shrugging again as the beans squeaked beneath me, forming to my shape.

"Nah, even if he had a good day, he would freak."

She continued to watch me but I at last turned my attention to the TV. As I watched the baseball game, I allowed my mind to wander. After a few minutes it settled on Max's unexpected reaction to his music and that is where it stayed.

* * *

_My phone rang again, what seemed like the one-hundredth time that it had done so in the last ten minutes. I grabbed it quickly out of my pocket, whipping it open as I pulled into the driveway._

_"I'm coming!" I shouted, shutting the phone and shoving it back into my jeans._

_Hurriedly, I jumped out of my van, barely taking time to press the brake as I left the door hanging open. I raced into the house and down the steps to the basement, pushing the door open as fast as I could. I vaguely heard Grace, my kid sister, telling me to 'please not slam the door, Max'. But I barely registered her voice as I looked through the mess of drumsticks on the floor, looking for the right ones. I really should organize these, I thought, before quickly extinguishing the thought- too much work._

_Yes! I shouted in my head as I found one of the sticks I needed. But where was the other? Then I saw Hayley sitting in the beanbag chair, Hayley holding the other one. She looked slightly freaked out and I wondered what Grace had told her. When I asked her for the stick she tossed it a little nervously and I had to work hard not to smile but could still feel a smirk tugging at my lips. I told Grace where I was going and then I was racing up the steps again, flinging myself into the van and speeding out of the driveway, narrowly missing the mailbox._

_As I hit the main road, my phone rang again and this time it pissed me off._

_"What!" I shouted into the mouthpiece, hearing my own voice bounce back at me._

_"Bad time?" I heard the sweet yet sarcastic voice of my girlfriend, Riley. I immediately relaxed, enough so that my shoulders were not touching my ears._

_"Riley, sorry, I'm late for a gig. What's going on?" _

_I glanced at the dashboard. Five o'clock on the dot. A forty-minute drive that I now had to make in twenty-five. I sighed, frustrated, before tuning back into Riley's voice._

_"...and I was hoping you'd maybe want to go?" She was saying as I sped past a soccer mom's minivan, ignoring the horns that blared. I shook my head, sighed again, my fingers drumming faster on the steering wheel._

_"Oh, Riley I'm sorry, go where?" I crossed my fingers, cringing when she did not reply immediately. "Riley? Riley, baby really, I'm so sorry, I'd love to go anywhere with you." My voice was as soft as I could make it but frustration was creeping into the last words._

_I could hear her sigh. "I wanted to know if you would go with me to a barbecue in Troy at my sister's boyfriend's house." Though I knew she was trying to hide it, I could hear the hope in her voice. "It's tomorrow night at seven thirty," she added before I could ask. _

_My eyes squeezed shut reflexively._

_"Riley…" I paused, unsure how to break the news. "We have a gig tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to get there in time."_

_"Never mind Max, I'll talk to you later." She hung up before I could say anything._

_Fantastic, I thought, slamming my hand against the steering wheel. Just as I turned my radio up full blast, my phone vibrated in my hand. It flew to my ear._

_"Riley?" I asked anxiously._

_"Oh, problems with the girlfriend?" The deep voice of my band mate, Charlie, met my ears and I clenched my fist around the phone. A car honked as I pulled in front of them, speeding away before they could complain any longer._

_"Shut your mouth, Baker. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." I could feel my face heat up with anger as I spoke and added, "Hey is the gig tomorrow really that important?"_

_My desperation was pathetic, as I knew the gig tomorrow was more important than the _president's_ barbecue._

_"Max Spickler, tell me that I did not just hear you say that..." I could hear disbelief in Charlie's voice._

_"I said nothing, see you soon." _

_I slammed my phone shut and threw it into the back of the van, cranking the radio enough that the possibility of blowing my speakers was very high. But honestly, I didn't give a shit anymore.

* * *

_

_"Max?"_

_It was Tom, calling to yell at me for being late to the second gig in twenty-four hours. Here we go, I thought, putting on my blinker and pulling around the car in front of me._

_"Max, it's Tom, obviously. Anyway, they canceled the show; it's rescheduled for next weekend, so you're off the hook for whatever was so much more important today. Later."_

_He hung up before I could even breathe. And then it all clicked together. Yes! I thought. Hurriedly, I turned the van around and sped towards Riley's house, hoping to catch her before she left. When I pulled into her driveway it was empty, making me smile; her parents were gone. I got out, slamming the door behind me and jogging to the side door, carefully letting myself in. Hearing a noise up in her bedroom, I decided to sneak up and give her a surprise. She loved surprises._

_As silent as was physically possible, I climbed her stairs. I could see her bedroom door open just a crack at the end of the hall, her computer monitor blank. As I reached her doorway I heard an odd noise, one I knew I should recognize, but it did not immediately click. And then I looked through the crack. My jaw dropped, surely hitting the thick carpet of the hallway. I felt my face heat up, the anger and betrayal growing inside of me until I thought I would burst._

_Riley was there in her room all right. But so was her ex-boyfriend, Paul something. The Paul something that she was now laying on top of, shirtless. My thoughts scattered angrily as something occurred to me. What if this wasn't the first time?_

_Suddenly the bundle of emotion overtook me and I slammed Riley's door open, scaring both her and Paul. Riley quickly slid off of him, before seeing that it was me. Her eyes widened immensely and she shook her head again and again as if saying I was not seeing anything, that she was not cheating on me. I narrowed my eyes and spoke quietly, tensely, the words carrying across the shocked-silent room, reaching both her and Paul's ears loud and clear._

_"You little whore."_

_Turning, I sped down the stairs, out her front door, letting it slam. I jumped into the van, speeding so fast out of the driveway I was sure I left skid marks. As I raced in the opposite direction of home, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw Riley standing at the end of her driveway, arms crossed over her chest, her mouth open as if she was shouting to me._

_Without realizing where I was headed, my conscience steered me toward the old hangout. It was a beach on a remote lake where we always went to have bonfires during the summer, somewhere none of us ever went anymore unless we just needed to get away. This was my first time to use the abandoned beach as an escape._

_As soon as I reached the familiar dirt road, I swerved to the side, hiding the van in some brush before jumping out and running towards the dock, my anger the only thing pushing me forward._

_What the hell was she doing? She had said she loved me. What was love anyway? Except an excuse to put your heart out there only to let it get ripped out of your chest and thrown across the room. Love was nothing, nothing at all. It did not matter, and neither did Riley. I don't think she likes surprises any more.

* * *

_

"Okay, we have to be quick!" Grace said, as Mrs. Spickler whipped the suburban into the driveway. Before she was even stopped, Grace and I were throwing the doors open and jumping out.

"Where would it be?" I asked as we plowed through the front door, not even bothering to take off our shoes.

We had to find _Halloween_, the movie, to take to Carly's house. But in the Spicklers' house, it could be anywhere. Grace did not answer me for a moment, instead running over to the flat screen and looking underneath it, digging through the numerous movie cases that lay there.

"I don't know," she said at last, standing up and heading towards the basement. "Go check in my room and if it isn't in there, check Max's." And then she was gone.

Following her orders, I bolted up the stairs, taking them two at a time, silent and stealthy, and raced into her room. I dug through the clothes on the floor and the few drawers it could be in with no luck. Slowing down ever so slightly, I headed into Max's room but stopped suddenly, standing as still as a statue.

Max was lying on his bed and I was about to say something when I saw his chest rising and falling evenly and realized he was sleeping. He was shirtless, which in and of itself was enough to stop me, lying spread-eagle across his comforter. One arm was thrown over his face, the other dangling off the bed. I felt my heartbeat pick up ever so slightly, not having known he was home.

Taking a shaky breath and trying to ignore his shirtless state, I glanced to my left and spotted the movie on his nightstand. Just as I was about to lunge for it, I heard movement and my gaze flew back to him. He was looking, sleepily with his eyes half closed, right at me.

"Uh, Hayley?" Max said, sitting up and rubbing his hand over his face, his voice slightly scratchy from sleep.

"Hey Max…" I said slowly, standing up straight. I glanced at the movie as Max looked on curiously, an eyebrow raised.

"What are you doing?" he asked after a moment, as if he was speaking to a child he knew was up to no good. The heat rose to me cheeks as a smirk tugged at his lips. "I mean I know I'm good-looking and all, but it's kind of creepy when you spy on someone while they sleep…" he added, allowing the smirk to spread across his face. I rolled my eyes, but my heart was going crazy underneath my t-shirt.

"I just needed _Halloween_, goofball. Go back to sleep," I told him, looking again towards his nightstand.

He made an 'ah' face and picked it up, tossing it to me. It bounced off my hand and fell at my feet. Max applauded me, letting his head drop back onto his bed.

"Thanks," I said laughing, before turning and racing back out of his room and down the stairs, almost slipping and falling on the landing.

"Found it!" I shouted down the basement steps. Two seconds later I could hear footsteps pounding up the stairs. Grace burst through the door, her face flushed.

"Yes!" she exclaimed, when she saw the movie in my hand.

She grabbed it and I sprinted back out to the van with her, taking a last glance at the second story window on the left.

* * *

I had the sudden urge to sneeze, and pulled my pencil out of my mouth to do so. My teacher paused from his lecture and glanced over at me at the outburst. When I shrugged he went back to his droning. And I went back to chewing on my eraser, trying to figure out a word that rhymed with 'wrong' for the new free verse I was working on out of boredom. I repeated the lines in my head, trying to get the word I was searching for to come to me.

The birds were chirping outside, and the sun was shining so brightly I wanted to scream. Yet, here I was, stuck in this classroom, expected to pay attention as Mr. Connor went on about the importance of the microscope, something he could lecture about for more than thirty minutes. Doodling the rhyming words on my paper, I sighed, thinking about practice that afternoon, until the bell rang.

As soon as it did I was up and racing out of the room. I beat both Carly and Grace back to our lockers, which is where they found me two minutes later, lounging against the cool metal staring at nothing in particular.

As Carly exchanged some of her books for her lunch, Max came walking around the corner, startling me as I felt my heart zing in my chest.

"Grace, you need a ride home after practice?" Max asked, pausing in the middle of the now empty hallway as I gave myself a mental shake.

His eyes flicked to me for a split second before back to his sister, as he waited for her answer. He never looked at Carly. It was common knowledge that, even though the two were like family, they did not like each other, though they showed it differently. Carly preferred to grimace and look away from Max while he, in turn, annoyed her to no end. At times, the encounters were better than watching a movie.

"Are you leaving right away?" Grace asked, already inching towards the cafeteria. Her eyes were off behind Max's head, her body angled in the opposite direction.

He nodded. "You need one Hayley?" he asked, turning his gaze on me.

Even though Grace and I played different sports, our practices ended at the same time and I would take rides from him whenever Grace did. He always offered. Max started to walk away in the opposite direction, backwards, still facing me. A few lone freshmen stepped out of his way as he passed, looking at him as though he would beat them for one misstep.

"Yeah, I do."

A laugh broke through my lips and I quickly pressed them together, shrugging as Max raised an eyebrow mockingly. He shook his head before turning around and disappearing down the hall. I watched him go for a fraction of a second before joining Carly and Grace as they walked away from me.

"…This Saturday, okay?" Carly said as I walked up, catching the tail end of their conversation.

"Where are we going this Saturday?" I asked, readjusting my backpack.

Our entire generation was doomed for the hunchbacked life with all the books we had to carry around on a daily basis. Eight hundred page book for biology, six hundred fifty page book for math, seven hundred page book for Latin, the list when on and on. I realized now the advantage of a locker near your classes, one of the small and pathetic high school luxuries that I did not have.

"We're going to see the scariest movie ever," Grace replied, laughing. She loved scary movies, making it no secret that she found great joy in the fact that I could not sit through an entire one.

"And what exactly is the scariest movie ever?" I asked them, steering us to our usual table in the cafeteria - back corner, third round table on the left.

"Lock Your Doors," Carly and Grace replied, in unison, the scariest movie of the decade. I looked at them incredulously.

* * *

The final bell rang and I climbed out of my seat quickly again, anxious to get to practice. Reaching the field in record time, I walked out to the mound and inhaled deeply. The smell of the dirt and mitt leather filled my nostrils, letting me truly breathe. I was in my home, my haven: the softball diamond. Gripping the laces of the softball that I held securely in my mitt, I slowly pulled it out for my windup and released at the hip. The ball made a perfect beeline for the backstop, clinking as it hit the rusting metal. I felt a grin flash across my face.

Slowly, the rest of the team gathered, along with Coach Emi, and practice began as usual.

"Ladies, ladies, gather around, let's go!" Coach Emi called out to us from home plate. We had been in the outfield stretching and joking around with each other. Melanie ran by me, whipping my butt with her mitt. My reflexive smack missed her by inches.

"Big game coming up, eh? I don't know about you but I would love to just crush Dover High next week." Coach paused as we cheered and whooped.

Dover High was our rival school, making this the biggest game of our season. For the past four years we had mercied them every game. But that had been with Andrea Deer, the pitcher whom I had replaced and who now played for the best college team in the nation. The outcome of the game rested on my shoulders, literally.

"Now, in order to do this, we have got to get our hits and throws under control, so Hayley?" I raised my eyebrows when she looked at me. "I want you on the mound. Hold back though, I only want seventy percent. We don't want to wear you out before next week."

She returned her stare to the rest of the team. "Okay, give me my starting lineup on the field, the rest of you will bat. Then we switch. Batters, I want big hits but keep them low and no pop-ups. Fielders, good clean throws to the appropriate base. Know what you're doing when you step onto the diamond! Go!"

We jogged into position and I threw a few warm-up pitches to my catcher, Melanie. She was a freshman like me, though she went to a different school because she was, in a word, a genius. She was also Grace's twin.

"Batter up!" Mel called, smacking her mitt with her fist and squatting down, shifting back and forth on the balls of her feet as she waited. She stuck her tongue out at me and I winked at her.

When Kristy stepped up to the plate, Mel gave me a twirl of her pinky finger and wiggled her index finger. I nodded and lined my fingers up with the laces. Taking a quick breath, I wound up and threw a curveball, my favorite. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kristy tense up and then power forward for the swing. There was a whooshing sound and then the ball was in the catcher's mitt.

"Come on Kristy, eye on the _ball_!" Coach Emi called from her spot in the dugout.

Meanwhile, Melanie cheered and rocketed the ball back to me. She squatted once more, this time wiggling her pinky and her thumb in a "hang loose" gesture. Nodding again, I wound up for a fastball.

This time around, Kristy connected, and a loud smack shot the ball out into center field. It bounced once before Becca was on top of it, scooping it up and throwing it hard into second. It soared through the air, straight into the shortstop's mitt. Carly dropped her mitt immediately and tagged out Kristy who had gone in for the slide at second.

I heard applause from the dugout and turned around to face Coach Emi as she jogged out toward second, where everyone could hear her.

"All right ladies, great play. Hayley, you want to keep those balls away from the batter, but if they do connect, just know your team is behind you to help get the out.

"Kristy, that was a good hit but you want to make sure you can make it to second. I know we don't have anyone at first base coaching right now, but make the judgement on your own. However, you were close, and that was a decent slide.

"Becca, good fielding! And nice strong throw. Do it every time!" Emi called into center before turning back to Carly.

"Nice catch, and excellent tag. Do it in the game!"

That last part shouted out to everyone as she ran back to the dugout. I suddenly felt a sharp pang in the side of my head but there was no time to do anything about it as Coach was shouting again.

"Next batter!"

* * *

"Max, turn the music down!" Grace yelled from her spot next to me in the back of Max's van. He had the stereo playing so loud we could not even hear ourselves think. Reluctantly, he reached forward and turned the knob and an immediate silence filled the car.

"Better?" he asked, before turning the music back on, though not as loud.

Grace shook her head and nudged some CDs out of the way with the toe of her soccer cleat. Melanie, from the passenger seat, turned around to look at us, raising her eyebrows in Max's direction. Grace shrugged. I studied Max's face in the rearview mirror. His voice had sounded funny, off somehow, un-Maxlike. I could see his eyes were slightly red and distant, not really seeing as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"I'm starving," I announced as he swung recklessly, as always, onto the main road.

A few boxes slid around in the back of the van, crashing into the side. There was a loud jangle of something and a sound of crushing plastic. The amount of stuff in Max's van had never ceased to amaze me.

"Me too," Grace agreed, stopping my softball bag from sliding into her. "Max, can we stop at Subway?"

She leaned forward, propping her elbows up on the back of the driver's seat. She was using her sweet voice now, trying to convince him to let us go. I could see Melanie looking at him eagerly from where she had her head resting against the window.

"Only if you get me a pizza," he replied flatly, turning into the Subway parking lot and nearly taking out a Do Not Enter sign. An empty fast food bag hit my foot.

"It's _Sub_way, why would you get a pizza?" I asked.

Max turned around to look at me for a second before glancing back out the windshield. "Have you ever had a Subway pizza?" he asked incredulously, sounding like his normal self for a second, sarcastic and rude.

"No…If I wanted pizza, I'd go to Domino's. Duh." I rolled my eyes and winced when I felt the headache resurface.

"Duh to you, Subway's pizzas are better. Grace, get Hayley one please, she's torturing herself." He shook his head and pulled into a parking spot, killing the engine but leaving the radio blaring, earning a look from a passing elderly couple.

"Let's go," Grace said to me, rolling her eyes in Max's direction as she stepped over a snare drum to get out of the van.

Five minutes later we climbed back into our seats, carrying four steaming Subway pizzas. "These are the best," Melanie commented, buckling her seatbelt and licking her lips.

The three Spicklers watched me take my first bite, and I felt my face turn red, embarrassingly enough. They stared at me until I swallowed and grinned, said it was fantastic. Then Max put the car in gear, and drove us home, seemingly in a better mood.

"I'm telling you guys, Guns n' Roses is clearly better than Poison and Foreigner combined. They obviously had the better music," I argued, shutting the door behind me and dropping my bat bag on top of Grace's soccer junk.

She was pulling off her cleats and I followed suit, setting them on the mat by the front door and following her and Max into the kitchen. Melanie came up behind me, still eating her pizza as she walked. She nodded in agreement to my statement, taking my side as a catcher and pitcher should do in any situation. I grinned and stole a piece of her crust.

The argument had started in the car after we had gone to Subway, when a Guns n' Roses song had come on the radio and I had made the comment that they were the best band ever. Grace had immediately jumped in saying Poison was better and Max had argued that Foreigner was obviously the best.

"No Hayley," Max replied, shaking his head and talking as if to someone really slow or young. "Foreigner is better, had better lyrics. They had a deeper voice, a stronger voice. Just not one that was heard by as many."

"But Poison, guys, come on," Grace interjected as we popped open some soda cans and her and I plopped onto the couch. Mel sat down at the kitchen table, starting on her last piece of pizza. There was a smear of sauce on her face but none of us bothered to point it out to her. "Still around and touring, Bret Michaels has his own show, seriously. Who's the best? Poison." She answered herself at the exact time Max said Foreigner and Mel and I shouted Guns n' Roses. All four of us shook our heads.

"Whatever, wienies, I'm out," Max said, turning around and heading up the stairs. Again, I watched him go, wondering why even as I did so, before turning my attention back to the flat screen.

"Guns n' Roses is still the best," I mumbled quietly as Grace turned the volume up for Lost.

Unfortunately, she heard me and turned the television off, before turning to glare at me.

"Hayley, Hayley, Hayley. You are all wrong. Come with me."

Grace stood up, tossing the remote back onto the couch and going down the stairs into their basement. I reluctantly got up off the couch and followed her, throwing Melanie a tortured look as she stayed at the table, smirking. Once in the basement, Grace walked towards the stereo, grabbing a CD on the way. She popped it in, turning the volume up on the stereo and tossing the CD case to me. I caught it just before it hit the floor and looked at the title. _Greatest Hits: Poison_. I shook my head, tossing it back to her.

"You really want to keep this up? I'm going to win," I said as the first song came on, playing so loud that I broke off my sentence in surprise.

I was about to speak again, but Grace held up her finger, before plopping down on a beanbag chair. Just as the song was reaching its crescendo, there was a high-pitched beeping that I could hear even over the drum solo that was now blaring from the speakers. Grace pulled out her phone and read the text message before turning off the stereo.

"Hayley, toss me the _Greatest Hits: Foreigner_ CD please, it's on top of the first stack." As I reached behind the couch to the music stand, Grace popped out the Poison CD but kept it in her lap, replacing it with the Foreigner disc that I now tossed her. She turned the volume back up and when I gave her a quizzical look she said, in a perfect imitation of Max,

"'If you're going to blare your music at least listen to something worth listening to, like Foreigner'."

When the beep went off again, Grace nodded and said, "I thought so," before promptly turning off Foreigner and popping the Poison CD back in. "Too bad," she added, and typed one last time.

As we sat there listening to the album, I heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs and suddenly Max was standing in the doorway. Again, my heart did a zing in my chest, and again I told myself it was because he had startled me. He barely glanced at me, instead holding his glare on Grace.

"Honestly, Grace, Foreigner is better. They are better than Poison, and," he paused, turning his attention to me for a brief second, "they are better than Guns n' Roses. Are we clear?"

I just shook my head and sighed as Grace rolled her eyes before drowning Max out in Nothing But a Good Time. He threw up his hands and stormed out of the room, and before long I heard Jukebox Hero blaring from his room, even over the stereo that Grace and I were listening to. She heard it too, and unwillingly reached over and turned the stereo off.

"Ass," she muttered. I hid my laugh in a cough.

* * *

_I drummed my fingers absentmindedly on the armrest of the couch. Besides the light from the television that occasionally flickered across me, the room was dark. I realized that at any moment, Mom could come home and find me lying around instead of studying for finals week. She would probably ground me for next weekend, or take away my phone or something drastic. _

_It had been a few days, almost a week, since I had found Riley in her bedroom and I was still pissed and upset. It had helped going to school, and having finals coming up, giving my mind something else to concentrate on for a little bit, but even that, eventually, went away._

_I could see my sisters scrutinizing me closely, as I was not bullying them, as a big brother should, like usual. Once even, I caught Hayley looking at me, trying to read my expressions, but I knew they could not really guess what was going on unless they had heard something at school. Come to think of it, they probably had heard already, or realized that Riley never came over, or called. They were not that blind, even though they were merely freshmen. _

_Whoa, I thought, sitting up suddenly. I shook my head, attempting to clear it. I had to get out of this hole. I had to do something. Reaching behind my head, I shoved my hand into the crack between the couch cushion and the armrest, coming out successfully with my phone clutched in my fist. I flipped it open quickly, dialing the number of the one person I could count on._

"_Kevin?" I said, adrenaline now pulsing through my veins._

_He would find something exciting for us to do, to get my mind off the sorry piece of scum that was my ex-girlfriend._

"_Max, buddy, what's up?" It sounded like I had woken him up although it was seven o'clock_

"_I need a distraction," I said quickly, "anything."_

"_A distraction, eh?" Kevin sounded more awake now and I heard rustling, meaning he was getting up and moving. "I have just the thing. Get dark clothes on and meet me in your driveway in eight minutes." He hung up before I could ask or even begin to wonder._

_Racing up into my room, I plunged my hands into a pile of clothes on the floor, coming out with a pair of Grace's black basketball sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt. Just then, my phone rang._

"_Kevin?" I asked, slipping the clothes on. I headed into Melanie's room and found a pair of black gloves she had just gotten. _

"_Hayley," the voice said, and laughed._

"_Uh hey, what's up?"_

"_Okay, chocolate, vanilla, or twist?" Hayley asked me. I smirked. Hayley had been calling me randomly for the past month and a half, asking a question and then hanging up. So far I had decided the cereal she should eat for a midnight snack, that she should go lazer-tagging with her friends, what movie to watch one night, what flavor slurpee to get, and now this. Why it was me she called, I had no idea._

"_Uhhh, definitely the twist," I said now._

"_Of course!" she said, and I could picture her slapping her palm to her forehead. "Thanks!" And then there was a click. Laughing, I shoved the phone into my pocket._

_When I got outside, Kevin was already waiting, the windows to his old black Camry rolled down and the engine off._

"_Ready Freddie?" he joked as I climbed in. I shot him a look, snickering, as he turned on the engine and pulled out._

"_So where exactly are we going?" I asked as we swung out onto the main road._

_When he did not answer, I looked over at him, and he pointed out the window. All I saw was the Taco Bell we were pulling into. Giving him a questioning look, I slipped off the gloves and rolled up my sleeves._

"_We have to wait until it's darker," Kevin explained, smiling like he knew he was up to no good. "But for now, we eat."_

_After spending almost a full hour in Taco Bell, earning some weird looks from the staff, Kevin at last decided it was dark enough for what he had planned. As we pulled out of the parking lot I slipped the gloves back on, putting on my hood._

"_Are you going to tell me what we're doing yet?" I asked him, glancing out the windows to try and get a hint._

"_Have you ever wanted to own a One Way sign?" Kevin asked me suddenly, turning to look at me with a glint in his eye._

_The moon was visible in the sky now as we turned onto a secluded street a good ten miles from home. There were many signs on this street, though they seemed pointless as the area was deserted. At the very end, where there was another street running perpendicular to the one we were on, I saw the one way sign._

"_Shit, man," I said, grinning._

_Kevin pulled to a stop in front of a small section of trees, killing the engine as he pushed his car into the brush. We climbed out, easing our doors closed and meeting at the trunk which held the tools we would need._

"_What the-" I started but was interrupted._

"_I've been wanting to do this ever since I got my own car," Kevin said excitedly, weighing a wrench in his hand. "I don't know how the hell we are gong to do it, but we are going to."_

_Picking up some random tools, we headed stealthily towards the sign, passing by the two houses that sat on the street with ease. Even with the absence of human life, my heart was pumping adrenaline through my body and I was unable to keep the grin off of my face. Kevin, too, was having difficulty in hiding his excitement._

_Reaching the sign, we examined the black and white metal for a quick second before trying different tools on different parts of it. The wrench worked if we hit it against the nuts holding the sign to the post, but it was making too much noise. Switching to another strange shaped piece of metal, we tried again with the bolts without luck._

_After twenty minutes of trying to loosen the sign, Kevin and I stepped back, panting, the adrenaline dying out. Just as we were about to give up and head home, however, there was a creak, and the sign slid off, save for one bolt at the top right corner which loosened when Kevin gave it a good whack with the wrench._

"_Victory!" he shouted, quickly picking up the sign as I gathered the tools. _

_We sprinted back towards the car, somewhat awkwardly with our baggage. Throwing it into the open trunk, we jumped in and sped away, tires squealing._

"_That was freaking awesome!" Kevin shouted out his open window as we took the back streets home. Stripping off my gloves, I grinned and whooped with him, letting the wind blow the adrenaline back through the open window.

* * *

_

"MAXWELL STANLEY SPICKLER, _where the_ hell _have you been_?" _was the_ _greeting I received when I walked in the door two and a half hours after leaving. Shit, I thought, as I realized I had not told Mom where I was going._

"_Mom, oh God, sorry, I forgot, I went out with Kevin." I took a deep breath, preparing for whatever was next. I saw my mother do the same._

"_Please, please, please tell me you were just studying and nothing else."_

_She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose and resting her free hand on the counter. When I did not say anything she opened her eyes and looked at me._

"_Max…" she said, sighing, her hands dropping to her sides._

"_Mom, I'm sorry alright, I needed to get my mind off of…" I waved my hand in the air. "Things."_

"_Okay," Mom said, defeated, "then just please go study now before dinner."_

_I was quiet again and this time her gaze went to the bag in my hand. She sighed and turned away, waving her hand at me to get out of the room. I glanced down at the Taco Bell bag, before doing exactly what she wanted._

_As I was walking down the hallway towards my room, I passed Melanie's room and saw Hayley sitting on the bed by herself, her feet propped up on the headboard and her hair spread out across the comforter. I paused, debating on whether to make a sarcastic comment or not._

"_You're looking especially disgusting today," I said, just loudly enough for Hayley to hear._

_Of course this was completely sarcastic, as she actually looked kind of cute. Whoa, I thought, banishing that thought. No way, buddy, do not even go there._

"_Stop looking in the mirror, Max," she retorted, hiding her smirk well but not before I caught it._

"_Touché," I replied, heading into my room._

_Tossing the fast-food bag onto my bed, I plopped myself down at my desk and pulled out my anatomy binder. I bent my head, intending to at least attempt the review packet, when I heard a rustle. Turning around I saw Hayley standing in my doorway, looking slightly awkward._

"_Can I help you?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. She shrugged, turning so her back was against the doorframe. She then proceeded to slide down it so she was sitting on the floor, facing the other side of the doorframe._

"_I'm just bored," she replied, examining her outstretched feet._

_She was wearing bright purple socks with frogs on them. Shaking my head, I tried hard to force the smile off of my face before she saw it. _

"_Uh, where's Melanie? Or Grace?" I questioned, rifling through some of the CDs that littered my floor. Maybe Melanie would want to organize these for me…if I paid her?_

"_They had to go down to your neighbors' house for something or other." She now turned to look at me, pushing her red hair out of her face. Her eyes were big and blue, softened around the edges as she relaxed._

"_And they left you behind?"_

_Hayley nodded, once, before slouching some more and closing her eyes._

"_Well then here, listen to this, I found it in my dad's stuff in the basement."_

_I had found the CD I had been looking for, an ancient Foreigner disc that was hard to find in even the most vintage of stores. Popping it into my stereo, I turned the volume up to a decent level so I could still hear Hayley if she spoke._

"_Who is this? They're amazing…" she said in wonder, returning her gaze to me._

_I could see one purple-toed foot tapping, and her fingers drummed on her knee, seemingly without her notice._

_Smirking, I nodded. "Of course they're amazing. It's Foreigner." She gasped and her eyes narrowed to slits, her mouth turning up in a sly smile._

"_Max, Max, Max, Max, Max," she scolded, the repetition of my name flowing with the beat of the song. "I cannot believe you are still arguing me on this topic. You know I'm going to win." She smirked, standing up and taking a couple steps into my room._

"_May I?" she asked, gesturing towards the CDs on the floor. I nodded and she knelt down to rifle through them._

"_You really think you'd win, huh?" I asked. Hayley stopped in mid-rifle and stood up again._

"_Yeah," she challenged, her eyes sparkling, "I do."_

_I arched an eyebrow and rose from my chair, taking a step towards her. Her eyes widened slightly and there was a quick play of emotions across her face before she managed to control her expression._

"_Really…" I wasn't asking, just feigning thoughtfulness._

_And then, before she could take two steps, I closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms around her waist from behind, lifting her up. She laughed out loud, halfheartedly slapping my arms._

"_Max," she paused to giggle, "put me down! Put me down, Max!" She laughed some more as I spun her around._

"_Only when you admit that Foreigner is best!" I exclaimed, holding her up with my arm and tickling her stomach with the other. She squealed but somehow managed to speak._

"_Never!" I tickled her some more. "No! Guns n' Roses is better!" she said in between breaths so it came out more like 'Guns...n' Roses...is...better!'_

"_What are you guys doing?" a familiar yet unwanted voice said from the doorway. I immediately set Hayley down, taking a step back._

"_Nothing," I croaked, trying to keep my voice innocent as Melanie gave us both the evil eye. I looked at Hayley and saw her eyes wide and her mouth slightly open. "I was uh…we were just…"_

"_I was waiting for you guys to get back and I just bet Max that he wasn't strong enough to lift me up…Sorry Mel, I was just bored. Did you guys have fun?"_

_She walked towards the door, grabbing Melanie's arm, who gave me one last suspicious glance before following Hayley. As they went inside Melanie's bedroom, Hayley turned around and mouthed 'that was close'. I nodded and stuck out my tongue before she could disappear completely behind the door.

* * *

_**Yes, yes, it's finally back. Welcome to the Official of the Official Rewrites of**_** Something About Max. **_**You may not notice that many changes right away. In the beginning it is more just additions of little things here and there, like the phone calls from Hayley to Max. Also, I've tried to clean up my writing a bit, so there's not as many pointless sentences and bits of information. Also, chapters are now longer, giving you more to read at one time, though less actual chapters.  
**

**I've read over this story so many times now I could probably tell it by heart. So, needless to say, I am finally happy with the way it turned out. It is finally what it was meant to be....so I hope that's good, eh? My heart was actually beating furiously when I realized it was ready to be posted.  
**

**Let me know what you think! And welcome to new readers! Review. xD**

**-Zoomie  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**In case you didn't pick up on it before, Max is in italics and Hayley is regular.**

"_All right, buddy," Kevin said, beating a drum roll on his lap. "Miranda Cow."_

"_Miranda Cow," I repeated slowly, wondering if Kevin had gone off his rocker._

"_Dude, look at it for a second," Kevin said persistently. "She is willing to do anything, especially with _the_ Max Spickler. She won't talk your ear off, but she'll talk enough that you won't have to say much. And she's easy enough on the eyes."_

"_Kevin. She's my sisters' age. She's a freshman," I said, leaning back in his desk chair and watching the Rubix Cube fly through his hands as he solved the puzzle for the hundredth time._

"_Exactly, Maxi-boy. Exactly."_

_I sighed, letting my head drop back so I was staring at the cracks in the ceiling._

"_Miranda Cow," I said again, unsure._

"_Miranda Cow," Kevin replied, fully confident, tossing me the completed Rubix Cube.

* * *

_

"Well, where is everybody else?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

I looked over at Will as I waited for his answer. He looked back at me and shrugged, glancing one more time at the door to the theater. The street outside was empty save for an elderly man walking a dog and a black SUV. My mind strayed towards the day before, when Max and I had spoken while I had waited for Grace and Melanie to get back from their neighbors' house. It had been difficult to convince Mel that nothing was going on, we were just screwing around.

"Who cares?" Will said, bringing me back to reality. "Let's just go. We'll miss the movie if we wait any longer."

He started walking backwards, watching me as I tried to decide what to do. I shrugged and followed him, sticking out my tongue as he laughed at me.

Will was one of my good friends, someone that I could always count on. We had planned to meet at the movie theater tonight with a huge group of people to see Lock Your Doors, who knows why, but as we bought our tickets, we were the only two there. Not even the scary movie lover of all scary movie lovers, Grace, was there.

"Where is everybody?" I asked again as we bought our popcorn and sodas.

I looked once more at Will and caught him watching me, a faint smile on his lips. He shrugged and his eyes shifted above my head. "No idea, let's go."

He picked up the popcorn and I took the sodas, throwing one last glance towards the doors that led to the world outside. The movie was starting as we slid into our seats, the center of the highest row, leaving no time to talk. I settled down into the seat, crossing one leg over the other with my arms on the arm rests. Will set the bucket of popcorn in his lap and immediately took a handful. He offered it to me and I took a larger handful. Laughing, he returned the bucket to his lap and turned towards the big screen. I did the same though immediately regretted it.

I had told myself before we had arrived that I would not get scared, though I knew what all the reviews said. And yet, halfway through, I found myself with my head buried in Will's chest and his arm around me so I could not see any of the movie, only hear it and the screams of everybody else in the theater. Every once in a while I could hear his laughter vibrating beneath his t-shirt when I would flinch at a particularly loud scream but otherwise all I felt was his chest rising as he breathed, and his arm warm and comforting around me.

Why had we not tried this before? I thought to myself as the screams continued, along with my flinches and Will's laughter. It seemed odd, especially since I fit perfectly in the crook of his arm. Jeez, I thought, mentally shaking myself. What was I thinking?

But then, as the credits began to roll and I pulled away from Will, he suddenly leaned down, his lips brushing mine. He pulled away but held me close, his eyes searching mine to see if this was okay. I looked back at him, searching his own eyes before touching my lips softly to his. His lips parted and I could feel him smiling.

As we broke apart, Will rose, clutching my hand in his and leading me out of the theater.

"So what now?" Will asked as we stood outside, waiting for his older sister to pick us up. Shrugging, I just wrapped my arms around him and scanned the street, though I could feel a smile tugging hard on the corners of my mouth.

* * *

"Well, you missed a big event," I told Grace later that night as I sat on her kitchen counter while she blended some milkshakes for us. She had already explained that they had thought we were all going to see the movie at five, instead of seven.

"_We were all there, waiting for you and Will to show up, but then it just got too late. And then your phone wasn't on so we couldn't tell you. Although don't ask me how you and Will both thought it was at seven, that is something that I cannot answer for the life of me." She had told me when I had first walked in the door. "Unless…" she trailed off, thoughtful._

"_Unless what?" I had asked._

"_Unless Will had planned that somehow…" she trailed off again, a grin spreading across her face._

"You who, earth to planet Hayley, time to come in for landing."

I was brought out of my daydream by a mint chocolate chip shake floating in front of my face.

"Thanks," I said, taking it with a grin.

"Man, I don't know what we are going to do with you now that you have a boyfriend," Grace said, dragging out the last word.

"Who has a boyfriend?"

Melanie chose that moment to walk into the kitchen, stopping to take a sip of my shake before opening the fridge, glass clinking as she rummaged around.

"Yeah, who has a boyfriend?" Max asked as he came up the stairs from the basement, a lone drumstick in his hand. As he walked by me, slapping it against his thigh, he whacked me with it, jumping back as I swung my arm at his stomach.

"Hayley does, that's who," Grace replied, snickering, as I blushed redder than the shorts Max was wearing.

I looked down at my shake before raising my eyes back up. That was a mistake. They met Max's for only a second but he looked frustrated somehow. He turned away then and when he turned back around the look was gone, replaced with a smirk, and I was not sure if I had just imagined it or not.

"Hayley? Puh-lease. No one is that desperate."

Max's voice came muffled from inside the freezer, though it still came through, nice and rude. Picking up the plastic salt shaker off the counter, I chucked it at him.

"Will is," Grace retorted, taking her shake to the couch. Max turned around, giving me the evil eye as he picked the salt up, setting it down when I stepped back.

"_Will_ Will? Will Taylor? The Will that we know?" Melanie shouted, turning around to look at me, her eyes wide. She bounced on the balls of her feet, reaching out to take a sip of my shake again. When I blushed again and nodded, she pounced on top of me, wrapping her arms around my torso and squeezing so hard I could barely breathe. "That is so cute!" she exclaimed, pulling away and going back to the blender to make her own shake.

"Your best friend? You're dating your best friend?" Max sneered, reappearing out of the freezer holding Popsicles and frozen Magic Cookies, a Spickler family recipe.

"He's not my best friend…just my friend," I said.

As he opened the box containing them I held out my hand, palm facing up. He looked at it for a second, one eyebrow raised.

"I'm not giving you a high five Hayley, sorry," he said, keeping a straight face though I could see a twinkle in his eye. I smacked his arm and he narrowed his eyes at me but gave me a cookie.

"That's all I wanted," I snickered, walking over to the couch and plopping down in between Grace and Melanie. As they started the movie I turned around to see Max's reaction and just saw him rubbing his hand over his eyes, his head bowed.

* * *

The next morning, a Sunday, I was awakened by barking and shouting. What is going on? I thought, propping myself up on an elbow and running my free hand over my face. I looked around Grace's room, and saw her bed empty, her pajamas strewn across the floor. And then I heard Melanie's door slam as she walked out of her room.

"Mel?" She turned and looked at me but kept walking into the bathroom. I got up and followed, standing in the doorway as she frantically brushed her teeth. "What in the world is going on?"

She spit before speaking. "Mom and Dad forgot they have some business lunch to go to so they need to drop us off at this religion thing early. I think Max is supposed to bring you home."

Then, before I could respond, she raced by me and down the stairs. By the time I got to the kitchen, the house was silent. The Spicklers, with the exception of Max, were gone and Stevie, their dog, was calm again.

I looked around and spotted Max on the sofa, the picture of ease, so different from the rest of his family this morning. Just as I was about to sit down at the table he spoke, though his eyes stayed on the television.

"Want to get a slurpee before I take you home?" he asked, turning to glance at me.

I shrugged and nodded.

"Let's go then," he replied, standing up slowly and reaching for a t-shirt that was lying on the back of the couch. He pulled it on as he walked towards the front door, grabbing the keys off the counter and slipping on his shoes.

Opening the door, he turned around to look at me. "You coming or not?" he asked, and I nodded, quickly walking forward and pulling on my own shoes before following him outside.

He was already in his van when I climbed in, nudging a spare drum pad out of the way in order to buckle my seatbelt. When the task was complete I gave him the thumbs up and he backed out of the driveway before turning on a dime and speeding through the neighborhood.

"Okay, Hayley, we can either go to Sonic or 7Eleven. Personally, I say Sonic has the best slurpees." He stopped talking and looked over at me as we pulled up to a red light.

I raised my eyebrow. "Definitely not," I countered, putting my feet up on the dashboard. "7Eleven obviously does. Goodness Max, do you want me to win every argument we have?" I tried to keep a straight face but I could feel my mouth twisting into a smirk.

He turned and met my gaze, his eyes half narrowed but twinkling, and his mouth in a sly smile. It took me a minute before I could look away. Jeez, what was wrong with me? Then I noticed the traffic light. I turned back to look at Max and saw he was still looking at me, the same expression on his face.

"It's a green light," I said, pointing out the windshield. He blinked and shook his head. The smile disappeared as we drove away from the intersection, only to get stopped at the next red light.

As we were sitting there, Max's grin returned, this time full throttle, and I was immediately wary. Instead of waiting for him to tell me what he was thinking, I asked.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

The light turned green and he stepped on the gas, shooting us forward in his old van, giving me whiplash. I shot him a look and he shrugged.

"Because we are going to go to Sonic and 7Eleven to prove what I said, which is that Sonic is best."

I was shaking my head before he could finish the sentence. He raised an eyebrow but the only thing I said was, "You're going to lose."

He barked a laugh and continued driving, a smirk on his face the rest of the way.

"_Okay, okay, I give. 7Eleven has the best slurpees, goodness, don't hurt me." _

_I held a hand up in front of myself as a shield while holding my blue raspberry slurpee in the other. Hayley laughed. We were sitting on the hood of the van outside the 7Eleven after already stopping by Sonic. The sun was shining brightly and warmly as it was already two in the afternoon. We had been out for three hours - partly because it took an hour to get to the nearest Sonic and then we headed back to town for the 7Eleven – though it had only felt like thirty minutes, forty minutes tops. I had realized, about halfway through this trip, that it was actually fun hanging out with Hayley. Definitely something I could get used to._

"_I told you I'd win," she replied smugly, taking a sip of her melon slurpee. Suddenly, she jumped._

"_What's wrong?" I asked, dropping my hand. She shook her head and pulled out her phone, which must have vibrated in her pocket. I saw her glance at the caller ID before she quickly flipped it open._

"_Hey Will!" she said cheerily, though her face betrayed a different emotion. Was it annoyance? Or maybe nervousness._

_She turned around to peek at me and caught me looking back at her. I tried to appear as innocent as possible, taking a sip of my slurpee. I could hear a voice on the other end, but it faded away as Hayley hopped off the hood and walked slowly towards the end of the parking lot._

_As the roar of traffic increased on the road that was just a step away from the 7Eleven, I leaned back against the windshield, letting the hand that was holding my slurpee droop lazily against my thigh. I started to close my eyes before remembering what Kevin had told me after school on Friday._

"_I got you a date buddy, for tomorrow night, with this girl that Stacy knows. She said she's quite a catch so I thought, 'Hey, why not set these two up?'" He had told me as_

_I emptied my books into my locker. I remember the look I gave him. Stacy was his girlfriend and while she was pretty decent, the girls she knew were not._

_Now, as I saw Hayley talking animatedly out of the corner of my eye, I felt my stomach churn. I wondered briefly if I could somehow back out of this date without hurting anybody. Just then, though, my phone buzzed._

"_Talk to me," I said, pressing the earpiece to my head and holding my free hand against my other ear so I could hear properly._

"_You better not be thinking of backing out of this." Kevin's voice rang loud and clear through my phone. I shook my head and blinked._

"_You know me too well, Kev," I replied, taking a quick sip and allowing the blue raspberry flavor to sit in my mouth for a few seconds. "Are you honestly going to make me go through this? You know how Stacy's friends are." Only I, as a best friend, could say this. I heard him sigh, a give-in sigh._

"_Fine Max, I'll call and say you're coming down with something, alright? But really, dude, you need to find somebody else."_

_I could hear the frustration being held back in his voice. I sighed and shook my head, turning to look at Hayley. She was standing still before she was suddenly turning, walking back towards me. When she saw me looking, she grinned and waggled her fingers teasingly. I felt my face heat up and looked away._

"_Earth to Max, come down to planet Earth, buddy," Kevin's voice broke through my thoughts. "What are you doing anyway?" he asked after I mumbled a halfhearted apology._

"_Er, well, I was taking Hayley home and we stopped to get some slurpees," I spoke casually, hoping he would not make some big deal out of this especially because of the fact that Hayley was only five steps away from me._

"_Hayley Bridge?" Kevin asked incredulously and I cringed. "How in the world did that happen?" I was about to tell him but suddenly, Hayley was sitting next to me on the hood._

"_Uh, I'll call you later Marley," I said though I knew he would not let it drop._

"_You want anything else?" I asked Hayley, shoving my phone back into my pocket. She was leaning back, staring up at the clouds._

"_No, actually could you drop me off at the movies? I'm supposed to meet Will there at three," She turned to look at me, biting her lower lip absentmindedly until I nodded.

* * *

_

"_So what movie are you seeing?" I asked when we were two minutes away from the theater. They were the first words either of us had spoken since we had left 7Eleven and it felt awkward for some reason._

"_We aren't really sure yet. Do you have any suggestions?" _

"_Hmm…" I said, trying to think. Nothing good was really in the theatres this week, but there had to be something. "What about Chuckie?" I suggested the newest animated movie. It had looked good enough for being a movie directed at the elementary-aged kids. She shook her head though and I raised an eyebrow._

"_We saw that the day it came out," she answered my unspoken question._

"_Ah," was all I could say. And then we were in front of the large brick building and Hayley was climbing out._

"_Thanks for the ride and the slurpee and everything," she said, shutting the door and speaking through the open window. "It was fun," she added before turning and half skipping through the doors where I barely recognized her boyfriend, Will, standing inside. I registered the fact that his face lit up when he saw her before I drove away._

_When I got home, Riley was standing on the doorstep. Instinctively, my jaw clenched and my hands tightened on the wheel. I did not want to see Riley, not now or ever for that matter. After I had found her with Paul-something, she had called a few times and tried to talk to me at school, but I honestly wanted nothing to do with her anymore. I still had my pride._

"_What do you want?" I asked coolly, eyes narrowed, as I walked up the steps to where she was standing. Her eyes widened slightly at my tone and for a brief second, I wondered why._

"_Well, uh…" She trailed off and looked everywhere but my eyes. I grabbed her chin, firmly but gently, forcing her to look at me._

_And before I knew what she had done, her lips were on mine for a quick second and all the feelings I had once had came rushing back, full force. I had missed her so much. I was so shocked I released my grip and she took a step back, her eyes wary._

"_Riley…" I was at a loss for words. "Riley, why did you come over here?" I shook my head, trying to think of a logical reason._

_The old feelings quickly disappeared, replaced by a stronger mix of feelings: anger and humiliation at what she had done. After all, she had been the one that had cheated on me. The world has gone mad, I thought._

"_I miss you Max. I want to get back together. I was stupid and angry and Paul called right after you called and-" I held up my hand, wincing mentally as she mentioned her ex-boyfriend's name. "Max, I'm sorry." Her eyes burned with the truth of her apology but I shook my head._

"_So you kiss me? Riley, I'm sorry, but I really don't want to see you anymore. Can you really blame me?" _

_Ignoring her shocked expression, I walked around her and into the house, being careful to slam the door behind me._

_When I looked through the peephole five minutes later, she was gone.

* * *

_

"Everybody up, come on, let's go!" Mrs. Spickler said loudly, walking down the hallway and opening each bedroom door.

"Come on! Up!" she said, opening Melanie's door, where I had slept the night before.

"What's going on?" I asked groggily, sitting up and throwing the hot covers off.

"We're going to Cedar Point today, remember?" Melanie asked, getting up and walking out of the room. "Oh, and Happy Birthday," she added, popping her head back in.

Then it dawned on me, as I glanced at the clock and saw it only read eight-thirty. Slowly, I climbed out of bed, the only thing propelling me forward being the fact that everyone said Cedar Point was amazing. We were going this weekend because the Spicklers had found out I had never been there, which was a crime in this state, and they decided to make it my birthday present. This was why we were getting up so early in the morning, to get down to Ohio when it opened at ten in the morning.

Lazily, I headed into the bathroom, bumping into Max as he headed out.

"Watch it sleepy," he said, smirking and going back into his room, slamming the door. I groaned and rubbed a hand over my face, forgetting about the fact that he had been shirtless.

An hour later we were all in the car, all six of the Spicklers and me. I was squeezed in between Max and Grace in the middle seats. Jillian, the youngest Spickler, and Melanie were sitting behind me, giggling away at an inside joke from a few weeks ago, their heads bent over a camera.

"Can I have a fry, Max?" Mrs. Spickler asked, reaching her hand over the seat. He reached into the Arby's bag – we had stopped as we got onto the freeway - and pulled out a tiny fry, placing it in her palm.

"That's it?" she exclaimed, staring at her hand incredulously. "It's only an inch and a half long!" But she popped it into her mouth anyway, licking the grease off her lips.

"That's what she said," I said, raising my head off the back of my seat and opening my eyes. The entire car erupted in laughter, even Mr. Spickler. A smile tugged at my lips as I dropped my head back onto the seat.

"Good one," Max said, handing me an extra long fry. "Your reward," he explained, when I raised an eyebrow. I popped it in my mouth, grinning at him.

Turning to look at Grace, I found her still laughing but shaking her head at Max. I laughed again, but not at the joke. I found it hilarious how Grace never understood Max when he was her own brother. They might as well have never met each other half the time.

* * *

"So, Hayley, you can't wimp out on us now, it's too late to turn back," Jillian said as we pulled into the extremely large, and almost packed parking lot.

Kids our age in cutoffs and sunglasses headed excitedly toward the gates, laughing and joking, some couples hand in hand. The sun was already bright, causing a few of the paler people to slather on sunscreen at their cars.

"Yeah, don't pull a Max," Mr. Spickler said, shooting Max a look in the rearview mirror. He glared at his father, crumpling up his fast food bag and chucking it at the windshield. It bounced off and onto Mrs. Spickler's lap, who then chucked it back at Max.

"What do you mean?" I asked, stretching as we climbed out of the car. Jillian handed me a bottle of sunscreen as she spread some on her own arms. We were the only two to be graced with fair skin and I saw Melanie and Grace smirking about it behind the car.

"Oh, you'll see," Mrs. Spickler answered me, smirking, her eyes wide. I raised both eyebrows this time but refrained from comment.

After going on the two "warm-up" rides as the Spicklers called them, I saw what the Spicklers had meant. The ride had felt like nothing to me, but Max had been freaking out the entire time. But at last, after waiting in a two-and-a-half hour line, we climbed onto the next ride. This one was one of the fastest roller coasters in the park, though it was also the longest one.

"Come on, Max, we are sitting in front," I told him, laughing as his eyes widened even more, if that was possible, and his nostrils flared.

It had taken enough persuasion to get him to even stand in line for the ride, and I knew I was pushing it. But if there were anyone that could get him to do it, it would be me, and we both knew that.

"No way," he said. "It's bad enough you guys are already making me go on the ride, but making me sit front...." He stood his ground as the rest of us moved to the front of the line.

"It's not happening," he insisted as I stepped up the gate. I grabbed his arm and pulled him up next to me.

"Aw Max come on, I've never been on the ride either. Let's do it together. For my birthday."

He refused all the way until the next set of cars pulled up and emptied. And then I still had to drag him into the front car with me, to the encouraging and sneering of his family from their places in the cars directly behind us.

As the ride started up the instant ascent, Max grabbed my hand and held it so tightly it turned white. I laughed and squeezed his back. Fear played across my mind also, though I was excited at the same time, when Max was not. Slowly, ever so slowly, the cars rose up and over the hill, pausing for a split second so we could see the ninety-five degree drop that we now faced. Beside me, I heard Max let out a girlish squeal. And then we were racing down the hill and I screamed right along with Max as our hands gripped each other, cutting off circulation, all the way until the ride jerked to a halt two minutes later back at the start.

My heart was pounding as we slid up to the platform, thumping hard against my ribcage. Max was still clutching my hand, though not as tightly as before now that the ride was over. His mouth was shaped into a slight 'o', the shock visibly playing across his features.

"Max," I said, laughing, as the safety bars popped off. "You can let go of my hand now!" He shook his head, eyes wide, though there was a faint smile on his lips. His face was flushed as we slid out of the seats, and he looked the most alive that I had ever seen him.

"I know we are going on more rides and there is no way I'm sitting front again."

But we did sit front again, on the fastest ride in the park. It was an effort, but I dragged him on once more, promising to let him hold my hand for the entire sixteen seconds that the ride lasted.

By the time we climbed off, I had lost feeling in my fingers but whenever I looked at Max it was worth it. His face seemed to be frozen in a mix of emotions, like a little kid's. Shock was mixed with excitement, which was then mixed with fear, each time we climbed on or off a ride.

In fact, Max held my hand the entire day, gripping it tightly on the rides, but still grasping it firmly as we walked around the park. Mr. and Mrs. Spickler made fun of it continuously, along with his sisters though Grace just gave him weird looks.

"What?" he would say, whenever he caught her with a raised eyebrow, his palm pressed tight and warm against mine.

"You are so strange," was all she would say in reply. That or, "You are just such a wuss."

"I mean come on," Grace said now, as we got in line for the last ride of the day, the one with the highest incline. I had already promised Max we would not sit front row though he refused to let go of me. "Hayley has never even been on a true roller coaster until now and she's braver than you are!"

"Maybe that's why!" Mr. Spickler said, laughing as his wife handed him the last of the cotton candy.

Melanie had told me that it was the one day of the year that her mom ate whatever she wanted, without worrying about the side effects. Keeping count in my head, I knew that at the moment we climbed onto the ride, she had had two cotton candies, two caramel apples, one ice cream cone, and three veggie corn dogs. It was enough to make someone sick but Mrs. Spickler appeared unharmed.

As we climbed onto the last ride of the day, I felt my phone buzzing. Using my free hand I pulled it out of my pocket, reading the text.

"Oh, the boyfriend?" Max sneered, his fingers curling tighter around mine.

"Jealous?" I replied, answering Will quickly before shoving my phone back in my pocket just as the safety bars were secured.

Max squeezed my hand hard in response as he was now too nervous to shoot me a look but his pressure never loosened as the line of cars inched slowly forward, leading us toward the deadly incline.

Max finally let go of my hand as we climbed back into the car at eleven that night, one of the last families out of the park, preparing for the long drive home.

I woke up at one in the morning, a kink in my neck, as we pulled into their driveway. Squeezing my eyes closed I turned my head into something soft, immediately smelling Max's soap and deodorant smell. As my eyes flew open I found myself leaning against his side, and him leaning against the window, fast asleep.

* * *

_Walking into school on a Thursday morning two weeks later, I saw three things at once. The first was Riley's best friend Lacy, who had been giving me the death glare since what had happened that one Saturday afternoon. And then there was Hayley sitting alone in front of some lockers her head in her hands. Turning, I saw Tom racing towards me, dodging the hallway crowd and looking way too excited for Tom. He stopped in front of me, panting for breath._

"_You will not," he said, pausing to take a breath, "believe," another breath, "what I just found out."_

_He bent in half, hands on his knees. I shook my head, laughing, though the sound did not sound right. What the heck was he so worked up about?_

"_Tom, what happened?" I asked when he straightened up. His eyes were wide and bright, his nostrils flared slightly, the way they got when he was excited about something. He took one last breath before half-shouting it out._

"_We are in Battle of the Bands Top Five!" he exclaimed._

_Half the students in the hall turned and looked at us with annoyed expressions. It was too early in the morning to shout. I did not have time to worry about what they thought, though._

"_No freaking way!" I shouted, half-jumping onto Tom. He thumped me on the back and we both whooped, earning more annoyed looks from students and irritated teachers._

"_Damn," Charlie exclaimed, racing up to Tom and me._

"_You beat me to him," he explained to Tom, who looked puzzled. Then Charlie turned to me._

"_Can you believe it!" he said loudly, giving me a man-hug. He was so tiny that the top of his head barely reached my nose. I ruffled his hair and he smacked my head._

"_Yes, I can actually," I replied, my grin becoming wider. "We are the champions, remember?" I asked, reminding them of our motto we had come up with. Whenever the band was feeling on top of things we sang Queen's greatest hit._

"_How could I forget?" Charlie replied, already running off down the hall, probably to find Lex, our other band mate. Laughing, I turned to Tom but he was already gone. I quickly scanned the crowd of people and finally found him at the other end of the hall, flirting with his almost-girlfriend._

_Shaking my head, I turned and again saw Hayley. She had her knees pulled up to her chest, her head back against the locker, leaving her staring up at the ugly ceiling. Impulsively, I walked over and sat down next to her. When she stayed staring up at the ceiling, I bumped her jokingly with my shoulder. She still didn't look at me._

"_Hayley?" I said quietly. I could not really see her eyes from the angle I was sitting. Slowly, she brought her head back down and turned to look at me. I saw tears pooled in her eyes, so close to spilling over._

"_Hayley?" I said again, urgently. "What happened?"_

_No sooner had I finished the words than the tears spilled over, coursing silently down her cheeks. Her eyes looked lost through the tears and I instinctively wrapped my arm around her. She stiffened before sinking into my side, her head landing on my shoulder._

_We sat there until the bell rang, people throwing us weird looks as they passed by. I was not sure if Hayley even noticed or cared, and I realized I did not either. After all, I was still soaring on Cloud Nine at the fact that we were in the top five for Battle of the Bands._

_I was in the middle of imagining accepting the winning award when the bell rang, making me jump. Standing up quickly, I pulled Hayley up with me and turned her to face me, keeping my hand on her arm in case she fainted or something. When she raised her eyes to mine, I spoke._

"_You going to be alright?" I asked her, not wanting to leave her…leave her what? Heartbroken? Sick? I had no idea what was wrong, but I figured now was not the time to ask her._

_Her eyes searched mine for a minute before she nodded. "Thanks," she said softly, quickly wiping the backs of her hands across her cheeks._

"_Anytime," I replied, not knowing how serious I was at the time._

_She smiled ever so slightly before giving me a quick hug and rushing off to class. I stood there, somewhat shocked, until I realized I was the only one left in the now empty and quiet hallway. Damn.

* * *

_

_When the first lunch bell rang that afternoon, I headed automatically over to Carly's locker where I knew I would find my sister and Hayley. I rounded the corner and only saw Grace._

"_Lonely much?" I asked, smirking._

_She scowled, pushing herself off the locker she was leaning against with one leg._

"_I'm not the one walking through the halls by myself to find my kid sister," she replied, glancing off down the hall._

"_I'm not the one that needs to be nice to her older brother if she wants to keep getting rides home after school," I shot back, heading off in the direction of the cafeteria. "Now," I said, turning around, "do you need a ride?"_

_She hesitated, and I could see her fighting the fact that she did, in fact, need a ride from me if she wanted to go to soccer practice. At last she nodded._

"_Too bad," I replied, "I'm leaving right after school today. Sorry Charlie." I caught a glimpse of her angry expression before I turned and walked off, slapping Kevin's back as I passed him on the stairs._

_I was already piling food onto my tray in the lunch line before I realized Hayley was right in front of me. All she had was a bottle of pop sitting in the exact middle of the plastic tray. Her face gave away no sign that she had been crying only this morning though her eyes told a different story._

"_You didn't need a ride home after practice today, did you?" I asked her as the kid in front of us paid for his lunch. She turned and looked at me as if she just realized I was there._

"_After practice today?" she said absently. Then she kind of shook her head as if to wake herself up. "Oh no, practice was cancelled for today, but thanks." The kid walked away and she stepped up to pay._

"_Well, I'm going home right after school, so if you still wanted a ride…"_

_I had no idea why I was being so generous. Maybe I just wanted to find out why she had been crying that morning. Or maybe I just figured I should since she was my kid sisters' best friend and all. _

"_What about Grace?" she replied, pausing as I stopped to pay for my own lunch._

"_She still has practice, but I have to get home after school for some band things. Hey, it's cool if you don't want a ride, just offering."_

_We walked out of the line together and she started to head towards her table in the back. Mine was on the opposite side of the lunchroom, with the rest of the juniors that either did not have the guts to sneak out to lunch or just did not care, me being the latter. Just as I was beginning to think she wouldn't answer me she turned back around._

"_Where should I meet you then?" she asked. I could feel my eyes widen slightly._

"_Er, out front I suppose."_

_As we each headed to our own separate tables I shook my head. The world has really gone mad, and somehow, I missed the memo.

* * *

_**Okay I apologize. I meant to put a chapter up before I went on vacation but I completely forgot. I hope you can forgive me.**

**Anyway, tell me what you think!**

**-Zoomie  
**


	3. Chapter 3

_"Hey Miranda," I said as I walked by her, not bothering to turn around when I felt her gaze on my back._

_Kevin had been persistent lately, so this week I had been saying something to Miranda Cow whenever I passed her, never actually stopping to talk. It was not about talking anyway, so I did not see the point._

"_Max!" she called unexpectedly, and I stopped, looking over my shoulder._

_Her eyebrows were arched in confusion as she took a step toward me. I looked at her, waiting for her to say something, but it was as if she had frozen in place._

"_Did you want to hang out?" I asked her at last._

"_Sure," she said shrugging, though I could easily see through her charade of nonchalance. "When?"_

"_I'll pick you up tomorrow around five," I replied, turning and walking away.

* * *

_

Walking through the over-crowded halls of school at the end of the day, I kept my head down so as not to see anyone that I would be tempted to speak to. My mind was being kept busy not only by that but by what had happened before the first bell had rang, with Max. I had no idea how he had spotted me, but somehow, just as I was about to break down, he was there.

It was pouring rain when I walked out the front doors looking for him and it was as if the weather was matching my mood. When that thought crossed my mind, I again thought of how Max had been there when no one else had. His side so comforting as the tears betrayed me.

And then I saw him and stopped dead in my tracks, staring outright. Betrayal shot through me as I saw him talking to Carly when she was supposed to be on my side. He looked fine, as though nothing had happened the night before.

"Ready?" A voice asked, startling me.

Max stepped up next to me and out of the corner my eye I saw his gaze follow mine, over to Carly and Will.

"Oh." Was all he said, letting the word out in a rush of breath, as if he had gotten punched in the stomach.

"Yeah, I'm ready," I replied, giving my head a slight shake.

I followed him out to his old beat up van as we raced through the rain, pausing as he manually unlocked the passenger door for me. I was used to that. Since his van was so old, the passenger side door would not unlock automatically anymore and had to be done with the key. I wondered why he did not just get it fixed, so I finally asked him as he climbed in on his side.

"I'm broke," he said, laughing as he pulled out the inside of his empty pocket. I snickered. "The animal hospital fired me last week for letting the ferret out of its cage."

I just looked at him.

"What?" he exclaimed, pulling out of the parking lot. "It looked lonely, so I let it out. There was even a sign on the cage that said not to," he added, grinning as I burst out laughing.

The action came easy to me now, but I was not sure why. Max opened his mouth as though he was going to say something but then must have thought better of the idea and closed it. We both seemed too tense.

"So…" I started to say, before changing my mind. "I heard about Battle of the Bands. Way to go!" I could see Max visibly relax.

"Thanks! It's so tight, I can't believe we got in." His eyes were bright as he turned onto the main road.

"Hey," he said after a second, breaking the silence that only the windshield wipers interrupted. "You should come to the Top Five Battle. It's tomorrow at the P, seven o'clock."

The P was the local venue for such events as Battle of the Bands or a private concert. I had only been there once before, to see Automatic Reaction when they had entered Battle of the Bands last year. Then, they had not been so good.

"I don't know," I said, frowning. Not knowing if I would be up for anything tomorrow, I left my answer open-ended. "Maybe. It sounds fun."

We drove in silence for a while until Max turned into my neighborhood. It had started to rain harder and I saw lightning flash across the sky. No thunder yet.

"So, about this morning…" he started, and then stopped when he saw the look on my face. "I mean, I hope you're uh…feeling better and all."

He shot me an apologetic look that I tried to ignore, though I knew we both felt awkward. This was different, Max and I hanging out without Grace in the backseat, shooting sarcastic comments at Max as he did the same back to her. It did not feel the same without Melanie there after a softball practice, the peacekeeper out of us all. But somehow, even without them there, it was relaxing, like not every silence had to be filled.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Thanks for, you know, being there," I replied, not quite meeting his gaze.

He nodded once. "No problem."

And suddenly I felt obligated to tell him what had happened. But then it was too late and we were at my house.

"So maybe I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked as I opened the door and prepared to run through the downpour to my front door.

I turned to look at him, to see what his face betrayed. He had his head half-turned towards me, his eyes flicking between the two of mine.

"Yeah," I said, deciding then that no matter what, I would go to the P at seven o'clock tomorrow night. It was the least I could do after what he had done for me. "See you tomorrow."

Just as I was about to close the door, I stuck my head back inside.

"And thanks," I said softly. "For everything."

He smiled wryly and I shut the door before bounding up the front steps. He waited until I was inside the house, safe and dry, before speeding out of my driveway, tires squealing. Typical.

That night, Patrick brought home pizza with all the toppings. My mood lifted immediately.

"Where's Mom and Dad?" I asked, breaking off a strand of cheese that connected my slice to the rest of the pizza.

At seventeen, same age as Max, Patrick went to a Catholic school that was half an hour away. Sometimes he gave me the impression that he was one of the stereotypical rebels that they always have in the movies. The ones that are forced by their parents to go to a private school and wear a uniform, but while there they cause all the mayhem they can without getting caught.

That was probably why we got along so well, Patrick and I. We had told each other things throughout the years, but not everything, which left him as somewhat of a mystery. He went to a private school; I went to the local public high school. We did not have any idea what went on at the other unless we shared the information and events. It was nice, in a way. Private.

I remember back when I had been going to the freshman orientation at the high school for the next year when I was in eighth grade and Dad was upset because he wanted me to go to the private school with Patrick. Thankfully, Mom saved me from that terrible fate by telling Dad that they did not have a softball team.

"Dad had to meet with some client and said client's wife so he dragged Mom along with him."

He made a face before opening the pizza box and sniffing appreciatively. The cheese and pepperoni smell wafted through the air to meet my nose.

"Wild party?" I asked him, smiling.

"What else?" he replied. "I'll get the keg, you get the DJ."

We both laughed and I felt my mood lighten a little more. It was our joke that whenever the adults would go out we would throw a "wild party". It basically meant having endless pizza and cokes, and watching movies until midnight. We spoke of it otherwise to boost our own excitement.

"So, shall we mock and laugh or be mellow first?" Patrick asked me just like he always did though we never changed the order.

"Hmmm, I'm not sure," I replied, feigning indecision. "How about mellow?"

We always mellowed first, so the funny movie would lighten the mood before we at last crashed in our own rooms.

"Oh but of course, why did I not think of that?" Patrick laughed.

I did not answer. My unhappy mood was slowly creeping back, pushing through the fun we had planned for the evening. Patrick took a second before he realized I had not said anything.

"Hayley?" he asked softly, concerned. "Are you okay?"

Worry colored his tone. He inched toward me slightly, allowing the pizza box to fall shut, though the smell managed to hang heavy in the room. I tried to nod but my head wouldn't move. It felt heavy as the thoughts from last night rushed back into the front of my brain. The scene flashed again in my mind, making me wince.

"Hayley?" Patrick asked again.

He was standing in front of me now, one hand reached out to gently shake my shoulder. Or maybe he thought I would faint and he was ready to catch me before I hit the floor. For a brief second, I was reminded of Max. Shaking my head, I attempted to push the thoughts to the back of my mind, but they stubbornly refused.

"Hayley, come on, have some pizza and tell me what happened."

He walked back over to the counter, dishing out slices evenly onto our plates. After pouring us some orange soda, he carried it all over to the couch before coming back to pull me along. "Well?" he inquired cautiously.

"Oh Patrick," I sighed, turning to look at him. The tears stung my eyes but did not spill over.

"What is it? Is it Will? What'd he do?" He was immediately standing back in front of me.

I turned away. "One of the kids in my grade had a party last night. I wasn't up to it, but I told Will to go without me. Carly ended up going too. She texted me when she was leaving. Three girls, Patrick," I said. "He hooked up with three different girls."

"What an asshole," Patrick said angrily. "Can I kick his ass? Please?"

I laughed in spite of myself. "Only after I do."

"Thank you."

"Sure thing. But can we have our wild party first? I was really looking forward to it."

I grinned and saw Patrick immediately brighten. I couldn't just bail on him. We were siblings after all.

* * *

"_Oof," Miranda muttered, pulling a drumstick out from under her. She tossed it onto the floor of my room, where it landed on top of our shirts._

"_Sorry," I murmured against her throat, wrapping one arm around her waist as I shifted our position, the other hand pulling at her waistband._

"_Max," she whispered, but I covered her mouth with mine._

_We lost ourselves for a moment as she worked to unbutton my jeans. But then Miranda placed her hands on my bare chest, pushing me back._

"_What?" I asked her, finding her eyes in the dark._

"_Do you have something?" _

_They looked black, her eyes, as I nodded.

* * *

_

"_Max, really?" Mom asked me, exasperated, as I walked in the door._

"_What?" I asked defensively, going to the fridge._

"_You left the dogs outside and your crap lying everywhere! And where were you? You were supposed to go pick up your sisters so I could get the groceries! Now Dad has to pick them up on his way home from work. That's the other side of town!" She unpacked the paper bags, stacking things neatly into their rightful place, something I knew she wished she could do with me._

"_I was with Miranda," I said, going into the den. The computer screen blinked and I moved the mouse, waiting as the desktop appeared._

"_Miranda? Miranda _who, _Max?" she asked, voice rising._

"_Why does it matter?" I retorted, taking a sip of the slurpee that I had found in the freezer._

"_Max Harrison, tell me right now."_

_I sighed, loudly._

"_Max! Why do you make this so hard?"_

"_Miranda Cow, Mom. Miranda Cow." I got up, walking back through the kitchen past Mom, and began heading upstairs. I was not dealing with this today._

"_Miranda Cow? A _freshman?_ Max…God."_

"_What's the problem?" I asked, turning around to face her._

"_She's a freshman, for Pete's sake, Max! That's illegal! A _freshman_. _God_. Give me the keys," she said angrily, holding her hand out._

_I just stared at it._

"_Max!" she yelled, her voice bouncing around the house._

"_Tell me what I did wrong," I shot back. _

_Grace and Hayley walked in the door at that moment. Mom glanced over, before back at me, though I allowed my glare to linger on them. Both their eyes widened, and they exchanged a look with each other, before going back outside._

"_Keys, Max. One week."_

"_Tell me what I did wrong," I repeated, separating each word, my voice rising._

"_Max Harrison, you better give me those damn keys. One week. End of discussion." Her voice was enough to scare anyone out of their right minds, but I had heard it enough over the past years that it hardly phased me._

"_What the fuck, this is ridiculous," I replied, but tossed my keys onto the counter before she added another week. They slid into the wall, an angry clash of metal._

"_Don't you use that language around me!" she replied, but she was already turning around, moving on. "You act like a ten year old," she muttered._

"_Fucking ridiculous," I said, heading upstairs.

* * *

_

"Hayley, wait!" Will called, as I worked my way through the crowd at the P, trying to find Grace and Carly.

They had reluctantly agreed to go with me to see Automatic Reaction, and now I knew where the reluctance came from. The P was packed, making it impossible to find the two of them where I had left them in front of the stage. Going to the bathroom had been a huge mistake, because I now had to deal with the nightmare of squeezing between people that were already squeezed together.

"Hayley!" He caught my arm, stopping me just as I stepped between two guys with piercings up and down their ears.

"What do you want?" I asked, throwing his hand off. His eyebrows came down over his eyes as he watched my expression.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? It was a game of spin the bottle…you know the guys. It didn't mean anything, it-"

"Will," I said, cutting him off. "We aren't doing this here."

"But Hayley-"

"No," I said, biting off the word. I left him looking like a kicked dog.

I at last spotted Carly leaning against the stage talking to the bass player of the band, Charlie Baker, who was sitting so his legs dangled off. As I watched, she laughed, tilting her head back to do so. Charlie grinned. And then I spotted Grace. She was standing up on the stage in front of Max, her hands waving in the air. They were arguing. You could tell from the furious looks on both of their faces. Oh, here we go, I thought, quickly making my way to Carly. I reached her and nodded to Charlie before looking pointedly at the two siblings.

"Oh jeez," Charlie and Carly said at the same time.

The three of us climbed onto the stage and walked over to them. We did not even bother to ask them what was wrong. Instead, Carly and I pulled Grace back and off the stage while Charlie dragged Max back behind his drum set.

"He is so obnoxious!" Grace exclaimed, when we were all standing firmly on the ground.

We nodded, knowing that to agree was the best even if it was not true. When Grace finally relaxed, I turned to glance up at Max. He still looked angry. Then he caught my eye and seemed to blink and relax, even grinning at me. I waved back and then it was time for the show to start.

* * *

_I registered the knock on the door enough to call "It's open" before returning my mind to the video game on the television in front of me. I heard footsteps come through the kitchen just as I ripped the head off of one of the guards in the game._

"_Where're your sisters?" _

_I turned around for long enough to see that it was Hayley. She stood behind me, gripping a few CDs in one hand, the other hand shoved in the pocket of her jeans._

"_Did you shut the door?" I asked absently, as the next level started._

"_Of course," she replied, and I heard the couch groan quietly as she sat down. "Where's Grace and Mel?" she asked again._

"_Upstairs possibly. Did they know you were coming?" I stopped talking abruptly as three masked figures attacked me. It was so difficult to talk and play at the same time._

"_No Max, I just decided to come over and hope that they were home," she retorted sarcastically._

"_Hey, my friends do that." _

_I decided to pause it and wait for Hayley to finish talking before continuing to play._

"_Max, you have friends?" she asked, just as I turned around. Her voice dripped with fake parent-like pride. I narrowed my eyes at her and she laughed. I felt an answering smile start to stretch across my face automatically, but I bit it back._

"_Could you please go find my sisters? I can't play with you talking my ear off."_

_It was her turn to narrow her eyes before she stood up and walked out of the room. A few seconds later I heard the stairs squeak. I sighed and returned to my game, only to be interrupted less than thirty seconds later._

"_Max, are they even home?" she called from above. _

_I groaned but did not bother to stop the game again. "I asked you if they knew you were coming," I shouted back._

"_I'm standing right here, you don't have to yell." Her voice came from right behind me. I jumped and the pause got me killed again._

"_Jeez, Hayley. Why don't you call them, okay? That's the second time you got me killed."_

"_I'm not the one holding the controller," she said, but I could hear the smile in her voice. _

_And then it was quiet, and I knew she was calling one of the twins. I managed to listen to the conversation and beat the level all at once. Giving myself a mental pat on the back, I saved the game and turned the counsel off, before heading into the kitchen._

"_Where are you guys?" Hayley asked, sounded frustrated. I could hear the hum of voices in the background._

"_Hang out with Max?" she said after a moment, disbelieving. I was too. I leaned over the half wall where the sink was to look at her. She was peering back at me, not really seeing, one eyebrow raised. "Well then, when will you be home? An hour? You couldn't have let me know when you said to come over at four?" More hum and then she hung up._

"_What'd they say?" I asked, going back into the living room and sitting in the big armchair, legs over the armrest._

"_They said they went out shopping, that they told you that, and we should just hang out until they come home in an hour. Did they tell you that?" She unconsciously twirled the phone in her hands, while her gaze bore into me._

"_It's possible," I said after a moment, "but I was playing that game. Do you think I paid attention to anything my little sisters had to say to me?" _

_She shrugged and nodded. "Okay, I'll give you that. Fine then, did you have somewhere to go today?" I shook my head. "So then let's play Guitar Hero."_

"_Alright, but you have to help me bring it all up here."_

_Thirty minutes later, we were battling it out on the toughest bonus song, when Hayley asked me a question I was not expecting. And was not prepared to answer._

"_So what's that dog tag for?" _

_My shock made me miss the last few notes, and she ended up winning. She turned to me, smirking. "What was that, Maxi? Can't even hit the last note?"_

"_Well you can't shock me with a question about my dog tag at that moment. God." I slid the guitar off and plopped onto the couch. Hayley came and sat by me knee, facing me._

"_Well why would that shock you? What's it for?" She reached for it -the stupid thing had worked its way out of my shirt - and I flinched to stop her but then she already had it in her hand. She looked at it closely as the two people in my mind battled._

**Don't tell her! No one is supposed to know about this!**

**_But why not tell her? She won't tell anyone._**

**How do you know? She's your kid sisters' best friend.**

**_But if I ask her not to tell, she won't._**

**How do you know that for sure?**

**_I trust her._**

_And with that, I had my answer._

"_Hayley, you have to swear not to tell a soul, especially not my sisters." I looked at her before continuing. She looked up at me, her eyes innocent, and I could see. She wouldn't tell._

"_I want to join the army. David Spickler was my grandfather. This is his dog tag. He fought in World War II. He's the only other person that knows I want to join the Army, and he's the only other person that's going to know, okay?"_

_By this point, she was looking at me with a sort of awe, her face only inches from mine._

"_Why is it such a secret?" she asked, letting the dog tag slip out of her fingers as she sat back._

_Again, the people inside of me argued._

**She'll just laugh.**

**_No she won't. She might understand._**

**She probably already thinks you're stupid for wanting to be in the Army.**

**_No, did you see the way she looked at me when I explained?_**

**Doesn't matter. Even if she doesn't laugh at your face, she will when she tells your sisters. They'll have a real good laugh.**

**_No they won't, because she won't tell them. And she won't laugh. I know it._**

_I banished the first person, and looked at Hayley's expectant face._

"_They'll think I'm stupid for wanting to be in the Army. Everyone would probably laugh, especially my sisters. It's not worth that, when I could rather just have one person know, and have that one person support me and be proud of what I want to do with my life. Though it's really worthless. Like they'd even let me in the Army." I cut myself off, worried about Hayley's reaction. But I shouldn't have been._

"_I completely understand," she said. I felt my jaw drop slightly as she went on. "I have this crazy dream that I'll get accepted to play for the Michigan softball team and then go find a small town where the softball team has fallen apart. I would start coaching there, and give them a team to be proud of... I haven't told my mom though. I don't know if she believes in me enough to support me."_

"_But aren't you the starting pitcher for the varsity team? And you're only a freshman! Have you ever asked your mom what she thought?"_

"_Have you ever asked your mom what _she_ thought?" she retorted, turning away._

_But I did not answer for two reasons, the first being that I had no answer. The second was the fact that my sisters had just burst through the door._

"_We are here to save you!" Mel said, grinning._

"_From?" Hayley asked, smirking._

"_The evil Max," Grace said, coming up behind Mel. I stuck my tongue out at her and she sneered._

"_Now now, kids, play nice," Dad said, sticking his head around Grace and Mel._

"_Hey Mr. Spickler!" Hayley said, grinning and waving. He laughed and waved back._

"_Hey Hayley!" This time it was Mom, as she shoved her way through the rest of the family, as they blocked the door. _

_They all laughed, and it seemed as though Hayley had already forgotten what I had just told her. But then, as she headed outside with my sisters, she turned around to look at me, her face serious for an instant, before she was gone.

* * *

_

_I was in the middle of a drum solo in my room when my phone buzzed in my pocket._

"_Talk to me," I said, standing up and walking over to the window. Down in the backyard, my sisters and Hayley were setting up the volleyball net. I take that back. They were supposed to be setting up the volleyball net but instead they were having fencing matches with the poles, while our crazy dog ran between them._

"_Max, buddy. I've got another girl for you. You know Shannon Tudor, right? Well, Josie tells me Shannon has a cute little crush on you. So why don't you call her up? You have her number, don't you?"_

"_Yeah, I do. She was in my English class." She was sexy as hell, I thought._

"_Great, then call her. See if she wants to go to the Jug tonight with us." He hung up. The Jug was the small restaurant that all the kids from school went to, on the west side of town._

"_Hello?" I had found Shannon's number in my phone, one I had never called before._

"_Hey Shannon, it's Max. What's up?" I remembered how nice she had been in English, whenever I had needed to borrow notes or ask about the homework, and I felt myself smile._

"_Max Spickler? Hey, uh, nothing really," she said, and I could hear the shock in her voice._

"_Well that's good, cause a few of us are headed to the Jug tonight, so I'll pick you up around seven," I replied, flopping into my desk chair to rifle through the CDs on my floor._

"_Really? I mean, sure, seven sounds good. Who all is going?" _

"_Just Kevin, Stacey, Josie, and possibly Tom or Charlie. Maybe Amanda…" I trailed off, waiting for her to say something. She did not at first and I tried to remember who it was of my friends that she never got along with, but then she spoke._

"_Sounds awesome, see you at seven!" _

_I shut my phone and relaxed slightly. Shannon would be fine, energetic. Maybe this could turn into something.

* * *

_

_A minute before my curfew was up and I was sitting outside Shannon's house in my van, my hand up her shirt. We had been at it for about fifteen minutes now, and I finally broke away._

"_Sorry," I said, a little breathless, "curfew and all that."_

_She nodded and kissed me a minute longer before jumping out. As soon as she was inside, I sped away, taking the turn on two wheels._

_The door squeaked as I shut it and climbed the stairs into the house. I tiptoed over to the fridge, and was about to open it when I realized the television was on._

"_Hey Mom," I said, defeated, as she leaned forward on the couch to look at me._

"_Max, what time is it?" she asked me, but I knew it was rhetorical._

"_Sorry Mom, I got held up at the Jug and then traffic was bad…" I rambled off my excuses, knowing full well she didn't believe them._

"_Give me the keys, Max. Another week."_

_I sighed, but did not bother to fight it; instead, tossing her my keys and heading dejectedly up to my room. Exhaustion suddenly overcame me and I stripped down, crawling into bed and killing the lights.

* * *

_**Gone for another week, so I thought I would put this up. Thought this chapter gave you a good look into Max's life/lifestyle.**

**But yeah. What are you thinking?**

**-Zoomie  
**


	4. Chapter 4

"New Office episode on Thursday," Grace commented, as we ate our lunch at the usual table in the cafeteria.

"Finally," I replied, biting into my chicken sandwich.

I was glad I was not forced to buy the cafeteria food that Carly was now picking at. She glanced up at me, grimacing at the chicken. Her and the twins were vegetarians, and while Grace and Melanie had gotten used to my meat eating, Carly still gagged at the sight of it. I chuckled and took another bite.

"Can I have some of your chips?" she asked, pulling them out of my paper bag. She did not wait for me to nod, instead opening them and digging in.

"Yeah, okay Carly, sure, you can have some chips," I said sarcastically, as she finished the bag within a minute. She grinned and stood up.

"I have to go type up my Biology paper in the library. Who wants to come with?" We shook our heads, smirking. "Fine then. Hayley, I'll meet you by my locker after final bell so we can get ready for the game together." I nodded and she walked away.

We had another big softball game that afternoon against the top team in the league, though Coach Emi was confident that we would win after we had killed Dover last week. She relied on my shoulders far too much.

"So Max got a new girl," Grace said after a few minutes of silent chewing. She always enjoyed telling me about Max's pathetic love life. Sometimes it could be entertaining and other times, like now, it just sounded normal.

"Surprise, surprise," I said, smiling. "Who is she this time?" I glanced around the lunchroom, trying to spot him sitting with her but he was sitting with a couple guys.

"Shannon Tudor," Grace answered, and I saw her immediately, her orange vintage sweater standing out in the dull colored lunchroom. "I don't know what they were doing last night," Grace continued, "but he doesn't have his van for a week." She sighed sarcastically and we both shook our heads, as if to clear nasty thoughts.

"Damn," I replied, "that means we need to find another ride home after practices."

"Oh, don't worry about that. Mom realizes that she took away our ride so she agreed to pick us up." Her grin was slightly wicked as we stood up.

"Bueno," I said, crumpling up the remains of my lunch. Grace raised an eyebrow. "Spanish test next hour," I said in answer, laughing.

We left the cafeteria, Max smirking at me from his table in the opposite corner.

* * *

"Okay, ladies, gather round," Coach Emi called to us from home plate.

We jogged in from the outfield and gathered in a circle, arms around each other. The other team was expected to arrive in just a few minutes.

"Ladies, ladies," Emi said to hush us. "Today's a big day. We are going to beat this team, all right? I want you all to forget about their ranking and concentrate on our game. Because we aren't playing Southfield's game today. Today is all ours. Would you let somebody come into your home and take your television?" We all shook our heads, tightening our arms around each other. "Exactly. So don't let them come to our house and take our win. We play as a team and work as a team, because we are a team.

"The entire time you are out in the field today you think about what you will do when that ball comes to you. Keep yourselves focused, no floaters.

"Play for your school, play for your team, but at the same time, play for yourselves. You are great players and you can beat Southfield if you put your mind to it. Don't freak yourselves out. Intimidate _them_, show them that we can put up a fair fight. Got it? You can't play this game with one person. We are a team. And as a team, we will crush Southfield. Understood?" We whooped and hollered in agreement.

"Alright! Tigers on three! ONE, TWO, THREE-"

"TIGERS!"

* * *

Top of the seventh. If I could hold off these three batters, we will have beat the best team in the league, placing us at the top. Having already taken care of the first two batters, I gave the last one a once over. She was large and had proven to be a good hitter throughout the game, hitting a triple just in the last inning, though she had been stranded on base.

As she took her place in the batter's box, I looked to Coach Emi for a hint on what in the world to pitch this girl to keep her away from the ball. Emi was staring at Melanie so I looked back at my catcher. She smiled at me and proceeded to give me the sign. A twirl of the pinky, wiggle of the index finger, followed by four fingers pointing down: curveball to the inside low corner. Brilliant, I thought as I wound up.

The ball smacked into the mitt before the girl could blink.

"'Ike!" The umpire called.

I allowed myself a brief smile before turning away from home plate to wink at Coach. She gave me a subtle thumbs-up before I turned around to take the next sign.

This time it was the hang loose gesture with two fingers pointing down. Fastball to the high inside of the plate. Catcher knows best, I thought, and smiled as the girl swung and missed.

Last pitch. It just had to be a strike and we would win. As I turned back around and got my footing on the mound, I glanced up at the stands. And almost fell backwards. Max was standing next to them, in the back corner. He never came to our games. Crap, I thought, taking a breath.

Melanie gave me the last sign. Fastball straight down the middle. The batter would not be expecting it. I nodded very slightly before winding up. But my jumbled nerves caused me to lose the grip and the ball flew up in the air. Mel had to jump to catch it. As she threw it back to me, she raised her eyebrows, asking if I was okay. I just shook my head and prepared to throw a strike to finish it out.

Again, Mel gave me the fastball straight down the middle. This time was successful.

"Striiiike!" the ump shouted. "And I believe that's game!"

My team cheered, racing to the mound and dog-piling me. We did not even bother to shake hands with Southfield like we would with any other team.

"Way to go Mel and Hayley!" I heard Coach Emi shout from where I was pressed into the dirt, and I realized she had joined the dog pile along with half the people in the stands. Their cheers were deafening. At last, Mel's voice broke through.

"All right, all right, everybody up, we're crushing the star."

I choked out a laugh as I stood, handfuls of dirt falling off of my uniform. The fans hugged me before Coach Emi finally pushed her way through to ruffle Mel's hair and mine.

"You guys are just unbelievable. Go home and rest, see you at practice Monday."

And she left, going off to talk with some parents. I grinned at Mel and gave her a hug before she ran off to her own parents. As the rest of my team scattered, I headed over to the bleachers, where Max was sitting, his head resting against the bench behind him. As I reached him, he sat up and smiled.

"Good game," he said, patting the empty seat next to him. I grinned and sat down.

"Why'd you come?" I asked him, after a few minutes of silence. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him glance over at me, but I kept staring straight ahead, at the mound that I had stood on just moments before.

"Heard it was a big game. Knew you'd be pitching." He stood up when he was finished, turning around to look at me. I stood up too.

"What about Shannon?" I asked him, winking.

"Eh, one time deal. I'd rather see you beat the top team in the league."

"Well, thanks. A lot. But I have to admit, it shocked me when I saw you sitting up here."

He chuckled and ruffled my hair, like he would a little sister. "See ya later, Hayley," he said, before heading off to the parking lot, where one of his band mates must have been picking him up. I waved though his back was turned to me, before heading over to my second family.

"Great game, Hayley!" Mr. Spickler said, giving me a high five.

"Thanks!" I replied, as Mrs. Spickler hugged me.

Melanie stood beside me grinning, dirt streaked across her face. Instinctively, I reached my hand up to my own face before realizing it did not matter.

"Couldn't your parents make it?" Mrs. Spickler asked, glancing around the diamond area. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes still sparkled with excitement.

"No," I said, shrugging, "they were out of town for business, but they called me before it started to wish me luck."

"Well that's good," Mr. Spickler said, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. "Grace was absolutely devastated when she found out she couldn't come because of soccer finals," he added, eyes twinkling.

"Oh, yeah right, Dad," Melanie said, laughing. "Like she'd ever come to one of our softball games!"

"Well hey, Max came!" he pointed out, and though no one looked at me accusingly, I felt my face heat up. "Anything's possible now!"

While everyone laughed, I just smiled and turned to watch his faraway figure disappear between some cars.

* * *

I swore under my breath as the softball bounced off the net and flew over my head into the road at the end of the driveway. With a sigh I jogged after it, chucking it at the bounce-back from where it had rolled to a stop in the neighbor's lawn. Miraculously, it hit the net and rolled slowly back to me as I walked back across the street. Picking it up, I took my position again and continued to pitch; ten curveballs, five changeups, eight fastballs, inside, out, repeat.

As a curveball bounced back in a beeline directly at me I managed to snag it before turning to wave at the beat up van that had just pulled in. Max stopped just a few feet away from me.

"Hey," he said, climbing out and leaving the door hang open behind him.

"Hang on a second," I told him, running to get the newspaper out of the garage.

Melanie and I had been in the newspaper the previous day for the softball game against Southfield. Patrick and I had searched in four different stores before we found the right issue and had picked up two copies. Max had been sent to pick it up today as he had been out already. When I handed it to him he began to flip through it aimlessly.

"So what's so important about this newspaper?" he asked, allowing me to find the page for him.

"Mel and I are in it," I replied, pointing to the small section that announced the accomplishment.

He smirked and shook his head, heading back over to the van. As he opened the door, chucking the newspaper onto the dashboard, he turned back around.

"Hey, I'm on my way to 7Eleven. Did you want to get a slurpee or something?" he asked, his face never changing, though I was sure mine did.

"Sure," I said, composing myself.

I threw my mitt against the garage door and headed over to the passenger side. Just before I opened the door and climbed in I took a deep breath, not really sure why. Max was busy clearing junk away from Stevie and our two seats. Scratching behind Stevie's ears with one hand as he looked up at me with big eyes, I buckled myself in with the other as Max screeched out of the driveway, surely leaving skid marks.

"Journey or MGMT?" he asked me, shouting over the noise from the wind that rushed by his open window.

Shoving Stevie out of the way, he picked up the two CDs off the floor, grabbing them out of a pile of others. Taking them from him, I considered each one before popping my favorite in. Within seconds Don't Stop Believin' came blaring through the speakers. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Max eye me for a minute and I turned to look at him.

"What?" I said, shouting to be heard.

"Good choice," he replied, turning the volume down a little and closing his window.

As the song changed, I felt my mind wandering off as the trees flashed by outside the dirty windshield. I took a deep breath in, forgetting briefly until the air hit my nostrils. Max's red dragon of a van always had a distinct smell though I had yet to figure out exactly what it was. Grace had always said it was a mix of all the drugs Max dealt, though I knew all he did was smoke them.

"So," I began, unsure of how to ask.

Max just looked at me, never one to waste his breath.

"What exactly _is_ that smell?" I asked, gesturing around to the van as he changed the CD.

One could only take so much of Journey. He waited until Electric Feel came through the speakers before answering, a slight smirk on his face.

"Food, burps, dirty clothes, and failed air fresheners," he said bluntly. Laughing, I shook my head. "Maybe a little alcohol…" he added as an afterthought.

"Max."

"What?" he asked, throwing a glance at me.

"Oh, come on," I replied, giving him a look.

"Sorry, Mom, I'll never do it again."

I smacked his arm. Before my mind even caught up, my mouth was open and I was speaking the thoughts that had constantly run through my mind since I had gotten to know Max.

"Why do you do that?" I asked him. I did not wait for an answer. "Don't you see how you're throwing your life away?"

"What the hell, Hayley? Did my mother pay you to do this?" he said, pulling into the gas station down the road from the 7Eleven.

"Oh please. I mean really, Max. Do you realize how…" I paused, as my mind caught up, before realizing it was too late to turn back. "Do you realize how fucking amazing you could be? You don't have to live down to what everyone has always expected of you. I know how great you can be, Max, I know."

He shot me a look as he pulled up to the pump but I did not stop.

"When I look at you, all I see is this life in your eyes, this life that's banging on the bars, shouting to be freed. There's a person inside here-" I poked his chest. Hard. "-that has the potential to do something amazing, something that no one ever expected of him. Where's _that_ Max? The Max that talks to me like a person, that wants to be in the Army, that would call someone that drinks and drives a 'fucking idiot'," I said, attempting to imitate his voice.

He opened his door, getting out and slamming it shut, before he filled the van with gas. I crawled across the gap onto his seat, opening the door and hanging my legs out so I could see him. At first, he ignored me, concentrating on the numbers. After a minute, however, he turned to look at me, his face completely changed.

"Why?" I asked softly, searching his eyes.

"It's what they expect," was all he said, looking away.

And then the pump clicked and Max was shooing me back to my own side of the car, getting in and slamming the door.

* * *

_I had just gotten home from picking up Kevin, who had had his car taken away for a month because his parents found the One Way sign, when a Jeep pulled into the driveway. As Kevin continued on into the house, I stopped in the garage and peered through the rain and windshield into the car. I did not recognize the driver, a guy around my age, but then I saw Hayley climbing out of the passenger seat. As she turned around to say something through the open window, laughing, I felt a weird stab go through my body. Was I actually feeling jealous of this guy? I thought as I eyed him again. But I banished the idea as the car pulled away and Hayley headed towards me._

"_Who was that?" I could not help asking._

_She looked at me strangely before smiling. "Patrick," she said and my insides seemed to tighten._

"_Who's Patrick?" I asked, wondering what the hell was wrong with me._

_She led me into the house, not answering at first. It was as if she knew what was going on inside my head and was torturing me for it._

"_My brother," she said at last, laughing._

_Relief flowed through my body instantly and without my control. As Hayley plopped onto the couch with Grace and Mom, I headed upstairs to my room. Kevin was already sitting in my desk chair when I fell face first onto my bed. After a minute I looked up to find him watching me. When he saw my face his expression became wary._

"_Dude…what's going on?" he asked me, his eyes narrowed in worry._

"_Kev, man," I said, running a hand over my face. "I have no idea."

* * *

_**Well. That chapter was a little bit more personal for me, something I had to write and it fit into this story, so I hope it came out decent.**

**Let me know! -**_Zoomie_**  
**


	5. Chapter 5

It was a Saturday night and, because I had been planning to stay home by myself, I had gotten dragged into "babysitting" Jillian, who was thirteen and did not really need a babysitter, with Max. So it was in that way that I found myself sitting in their basement on a beanbag, watching an old comedy with Max.

Halfway through the movie I looked over at him and found him looking at me from his place on the couch, his eyes soft.

"What?" I asked. "Is there something on my face?" He laughed and shook his head. "Then what is it? Why are you looking at me like that?"

I still reached up and brushed my forehead and around my mouth just to be sure. Max pressed his lips together.

"Tell me!"

He shook his head.

"Are you high?" I asked him, laughing.

He turned away, his lips still pressed together, though he was smiling.

"Max, don't make me come over there," I replied threateningly.

He turned his head back to me and I could see a mischievous twinkle in his eye along with something else I could not put my finger on. But again, he shook his head. And without even thinking, I was up and launching myself at him in one motion. We wrestled each other onto the floor before Max finally got me pinned down beneath him. As he loomed over me, most of his weight on his palms, which were on either side of my head, we laughed and gasped for breath.

"Hayley," Max whispered, his eyes holding mine. "You're beautiful."

Then suddenly, he was bending his head down towards mine and my heart was beating so loud I was sure he could hear it. As I lay there, completely motionless, Max's nose skimmed along my jaw, sending chills racing down my spine to the tips of my toes. And just as something that would have changed our lives forever was about to happen there was a crash from the floor above us, and just as quickly as we had ended up on the floor, Max had jumped up. I gasped for breath - I hadn't been breathing the entire time, I realized - and took his extended hand, running next to him up the stairs.

We reached the kitchen and stopped suddenly, mouths hanging open. Jillian and her friend were standing across from each other, a broken glass pan of brownies in between them on the floor, the glass in a thousand little pieces. Jillian's friend looked like she was about to cry. My heart was still racing fast especially as Max's eyes met my own.

"Okay, Spicklers, will your mom miss that dish?" I asked, looking between the two of them.

"Yes," they answered in unison, both of them earnest.

Jillian's gaze dropped to my hand, which was still clasping Max's. We immediately jumped apart.

"Okay, Max, do you know where you can find one?" I asked, willing myself to not blush. He nodded. "And how long until your parents get home?"

He checked his phone, barely glimpsing the time before shoving it back in his pocket. "They'll be back in about two and a half hours. I'll go find the dish, and Jillian and Taylor, take this mess, put it in a trash bag and bury it underneath all the other trash in the can at the end of the driveway. We'll be back as soon as possible, call if you hear anything from Mom or Dad."

Then Max looked at me again, and cocked his head back as if to say, "Let's go".

"Oh no," I said, "I'm gonna stay and help them clean up. You go and call us when you're on your way back."

He looked at me for a split second before nodding and racing out the door. I wanted to go but I had no idea what would happen if Max and I got into that car alone together. I waited until I saw headlights swing across the walls before rushing over to Jillian and Taylor. I knelt down next to Taylor-I was about a whole head taller than she was-and kind of shook her and Jillian.

"Guys, it's all right, let's get this cleaned up. Jillian, where are the trash bags?"

As she ran off to get one I looked at Taylor who still looked stricken. "Taylor, help me pile this together, okay? It's fine, Max-" Here, my voice caught, as I thought about what had just been about to happen. "-is going to get a new dish. Don't worry about it."

She nodded and the tension in the room seemed to lift slightly.

Once the brownies and broken glass were all in the bag we silently sneaked out of the house and up the driveway. At the last second we decided to be even safer and stuck it in the neighbor's garbage after Jillian assured me they would not find out. Then we went and sat in the kitchen and waited for Max. And waited. And waited some more until I started to get nervous though I did not let on to the girls.

I told them to go watch a movie in the basement and as soon as I heard the television click on I called Max.

"Max!" I exclaimed when he picked up. My heart started up again.

"Hayley? What's wrong?"

In the background I could hear babies crying and people talking. What sounded like a cash register beeped loudly.

"Where are you? It's been an hour." I walked over by the window and gazed out at the dark lake behind their house. It was still, except for a lone swan taking a moonlit swim.

"I just found the dish, it took forever. I'm checking out right now. Why? Did you hear from Mom and Dad?"

"No, I was just worried. How long until you get home?" I walked over and sat on the couch, putting my feet up on the coffee table. We still had an hour and a half but the butterflies in my stomach would not fly away.

"Uh," Max said slowly, drawing out the syllable. "Probably like twenty minutes. Where are the girls?" I heard the background noise die out and knew he had gotten into the van.

"Down watching a movie."

A pause as I knew Max was starting the van. "I'll be home soon."

"Okay," I said, standing up and stretching, the phone cocked between my shoulder and ear. "See you when you get back." I hung up and tossed the phone onto the counter, walking over to the fridge to see what I could make for the four of us.

By the time Max had gotten home I had a frozen pizza in the oven and popcorn in the microwave. The four of us ate and when the Spicklers finally arrived, I nodded to Max and followed Grace and Melanie up to their rooms.

* * *

_I almost kissed her, I thought to myself repeatedly. I had wanted to kiss her. I wondered what would have happened if Jillian and her friend had been more careful with that pan and had not dropped it. What if they had caught us? What would Grace and Melanie say? Mom and Dad? I need to get home, I told myself urgently. I have to see Hayley._

_These thoughts ran through my head again and again, crashing into one another repeatedly as I went in search of the glass dish to replace the now shattered one. I thought I knew where to find an identical one, but I wasn't sure. Which was pathetic, as I was the one to get Mom that dish all those years ago. Think Max, think. Aha! Carl's Baked Goods._

_At last, with time to spare, I found the dish. Then my phone rang. Oh crap, I thought, it's Mom. She knows, she knows. _Shit.

"_Max!"_

_Hayley, I thought with relief, my insides squirming at the sound of her voice. Oh thank the Lord. I want to kiss her. I have to kiss her. But I can't. It breaks every rule. Why am I being put through this? It was my own personal hell on earth._

_I finally paid for the dish, assured Hayley I would be there soon, and ran to the van. I wanted to get home. I wanted to see her, to kiss her. Ah! This is torture, I thought, as every light on the way home was red. My heart was pounding furiously beneath my sweatshirt when I finally pulled into the driveway. As I walked in the door I could smell pizza and popcorn and my mouth watered instantly._

"_Max?"_

_It was Hayley, her voice once again making my insides squirm. She walked out of the kitchen and saw me walking up the stairs from the garage. Our eyes met and my feet stopped moving, along with the rest of the world it seemed. As we stared at each other, Hayley's eyes softened, changing right before my eyes. I managed to smile at her and her own smile was instantaneous._

"_Hey, I found it," I said abruptly, pulling the infamous dish out of the plastic bag, which I left on the stairs. Someone would pick it up later. She took it from me, her fingers brushing mine, which sent a thrill down my spine, and washed it before putting it in the cupboard where it had come from._

_As the four of us ate – Jillian and her friend decided to eat with us so there was no chance to be alone – I decided to try and stay away from Hayley as much as possible and maybe see if these feelings would go away. Deep down, I knew they would not but up above I wanted to believe it. Because it just would not be possible._

_When she went up to bed she looked at me and I just nodded, not knowing what else to say or do. After their door closed I sneaked up to my room and yanked off my jeans and t-shirt, sliding beneath the comforter and falling fast asleep.

* * *

_

"Okay, and when the concert is done?" Mom asked, giving Max and I the sense of déjà vu. Mrs. Spickler had asked us the same questions the night before when I had been having a movie marathon with Grace.

"We drive straight home," I replied, throwing Max a look. He did not return it however. Instead, a grin stretched across his face and I knew he was enjoying this. Mom had always had a soft spot for him and he knew it.

"And?" Mom prodded, picking a clump of lint off of my shirt.

Max smirked. "No alcohol, no drugs, no speeding. Music, but only quiet music. No cell phones."

"Good," Mom said, nodding at Max as if he had just recited every digit of Pi. I shook my head and grabbed his arm.

"Okay, have fun! Drive safe!" Mom called as we hurried out the door.

"Shall we prepare?" Max asked, changing lanes.

We had been on the road for half an hour already and still had at least two hours to go.

"Of course," I replied, smiling as he pushed the _Relevation_ disc into the radio.

A little over a month ago, Max had gone online and found that Journey, a band we both worshipped, was coming back to our town. However, 'our town' meant two and a half hours across the state, though this did not discourage Max. He called me that day and soon we had tickets burning holes in our pockets as we waited for the day to approach. It had not taken very long to convince our parents, as the Spicklers did not care what Max did and Mom loved him like her own son. Of course, as the day approached and then arrived, both sets of parents were on edge. If our tickets had not already been bought for eighty-five dollars, I'm sure they would have kept us home.

And while they were nervous about the drive for safety reasons, I was nervous about the drive for other reasons. Max and I had barely spoken since Saturday night, five days ago. Whenever I had been over with Grace or Melanie in the last few days, as school had ended, I found us tiptoeing around each other, unsure of where to go next. With a two and a half hour drive to the concert and then home afterwards, the possibilities of what could happen seemed endless.

"Hayley?" Max asked, bringing me back to reality. I shook my head and smiled sheepishly at him. The corner of his mouth tugged up. "Do you want to eat now or at the concert?"

In my side mirror I saw the fast food exit sign retreating quickly. Glancing at the clock I saw an hour had passed and blinked.

"Uh, now," I replied, feeling my face heat up as my stomach grumbled loudly.

Max barked a laugh. "Taco Bell good?"

I nodded, propping my feet up on the dashboard. In the mirror I could see the sun beginning to set behind us, bathing the world in a strange yellow glow. I glanced over at Max to find his eyes sliding back out the windshield. Smiling to myself, I looked away before looking back at Max. My eyes stayed on him as my head fell back against the seat. My heart thudded unevenly once before picking up normally again as I traced the planes of Max's face with my eyes. There was the smallest smile on his lips and no lines in his forehead, something I rarely saw. In fact, besides for his shoulders, which were slightly stiff, it was the most relaxed I had seen Max in a long time. As if sensing my gaze, he turned to look at me.

"Am I that good looking?" he asked, a smirk spread wide across his face as I turned away, blushing.

As the drive went on I could feel the crazy electricity flowing between us, connecting us. I shook my head, at a loss for words. Thankfully, at that moment we pulled into the Taco Bell and I did not have to say anything until we were back on the road again, steaming fast food sitting on our laps.

"Remember when I told you about the Army?" Max asked me, taking a bite of his Crunch Wrap Supreme.

"Yeah," I replied. I saw that he was about to go on, so I spoke quickly instead. "It's really great, Max. But I think you need to tell your family, and your friends. It's such a great way to want to spend at least some of your life that I think it would be impossible for anyone to not support you."

"Hayley." I looked at him. The lines were back, his eyebrows knitted together. "They have never believed in me. They always expect the worst."

"So prove them wrong," I said quietly.

Just then the CD stopped and the van fell into a somewhat uncomfortable silence. My feet slid off the dashboard, landing with a dull thud on the floor mat. A drumstick rolled towards me as my heel hit it and I picked it up, dropping my empty Taco Bell bag in its place.

"So what's going on with your music?" I asked, spinning the stick between my fingers. Max briefly glanced over, curious, but not irritated.

"AR is doing pretty well right now," he replied, relaxing again. "There's another Battle coming up soon and we booked a few gigs in Barracaden for later in the month. If the whole Army thing doesn't work out, or if I change my mind, music is my back up."

From there, the conversation carried on, about music and other related things. The lines disappeared from his face again, as I knew they would. If there was one thing that could calm Max down, it was his music. The last hour of the drive flew by, and before I knew it we were pulling into a parking spot right outside the arena.

"You ready for this?" Max asked, a full out grin on his face now. The energy was radiating off of him in ocean-sized waves and I couldn't help but suck it all in myself.

"You know it," I replied, reflecting his grin as I climbed out and followed him up the steps.

* * *

"Holy shit," Max said, his voice hoarse as we climbed back into the van four hours later.

"That was…wow," I said, still speechless.

We sat in silence for a minute, our ears still ringing, before Max put the van in gear and pulled out into the concert traffic. A couple minutes later we stopped at a 7Eleven to fill up on gas.

"I'm going to go put these on," I told Max, holding up a pair of sweatpants.

When I came out of the bathroom a couple minutes later I saw Max standing in front of the slurpee machine, hands by his side. I threw my jeans over my shoulder, adjusting the sweats, before walking up to him. My eyes slid up to his face but he remained staring ahead, shifting, and then suddenly his arm was warm against mine. We were silent for another minute or so as I tried to figure out what he was doing.

"They got rid of the good flavor," he said at last, dead serious. I could not help it – I burst out laughing. He looked at me then with an exaggerated frown, though his eyes were twinkling.

"So now what?" I asked, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"We get the crap one, I guess," Max replied, pulling out two cups and handing one to me.

Once we were back in the van, Max turned the radio on low. We sang along quietly while sipping our slurpees, Max drumming on the steering wheel. We said a few words here and there, but otherwise were pretty quiet. At last, when the clock on the dashboard glowed 12:30, I curled up on my seat, half facing Max. As the song changed, he looked over at me.

"Hey, now," he said softly. "Don't fall asleep on me, I need someone to keep me awake."

I smiled and nodded, even as my eyelids got heavier. "Just blast some music," I murmured, my cheek squishing into the seat.

"'No music'," Max said, a dead-on impersonation of his mother.

"And when have you ever followed the rules?" I asked, smirking as I opened my eyes to find Max grinning again.

He immediately turned up the music, drumming once again on the steering wheel. Just as I was drifting off, though, the live recording from the concert of Faithfully came on the radio. My eyes flew open as I was instantly back in the arena standing next to Max, both of us singing along. And then the opening chords of Faithfully were played, and we were screaming our approval along with a hundred thousand other people. But as the first words were sang, I could feel something shift between Max and I, as we both subconsciously moved towards each other.

I was thrown back into the car as Max nudged the volume up a bit. My gaze flew to his and I saw him turning back to look out the windshield. As the song reached its crescendo and then Max's favorite part ("I love it when they come in with the 'ohs'. Oohhhhh, ooohhhhh."), I mentally prepared myself to say something but then the song ended and I was still speechless.

"I'm glad we got to go tonight," I said quietly after a few minutes of silence. He turned the volume down as the radio host came on.

"Yeah," Max said, also quietly. "Me too."

I fell asleep smiling.

* * *

_I wiped my palms on my jeans for the hundredth time that night, as I took yet another exit ramp onto another stretch of freeway. Beside me, Hayley was breathing deeply, her mouth partly open. After Saturday night, I had been unsure of how this trip was going to go. On the way to the concert I had tried to think of the best way to bring that night up, but my heart was beating too fast for me to think. And then Journey had played Faithfully, to a crowd of thousands, though it felt like they were singing straight to Hayley and I. Throughout the song, I fought the urge to just pull Hayley against me. At last, I settled for moving right next to her, so our arms were touching and our fingers brushed._

_But as I at last felt the wheels of the van hit the dirt road leading to home, I knew that something was going to happen before I got out of the van. If I did nothing, after five hours alone in the car with her, I would regret it for a very long time._

"_Max?" Hayley's voice broke through my reverie, rough from sleep. I turned my head to find her looking at me through squinted eyes._

"_Hey you," I said, smiling and resisting the urge to kiss her right then and there. She smiled back somewhat sleepily before sitting up and stretching._

"_We're home already?" she asked, as I pulled into the driveway, glad she was sleeping over._

_As I killed the engine I glanced over at her. She had curled up again on the seat, facing me. In t he dying light of the dashboard, I could just barely make out her face. She was looking right at me, her eyes wide and shining in the darkness._

_Without thinking about it, I leaned forward and touched my lips to hers. As soon as I felt the quick jolt of electricity go through me I pulled back, suddenly wary. Her eyes were open, only a couple inches away from mine._

"_Max," she whispered._

_Before she could say anything else, I kissed her again._


	6. Chapter 6

As I climbed between the cool sheets in Grace's room, I knew I would always remember the taste of blue raspberry slurpee at three in the morning. My lips tingled where Max's had touched mine, finally touched mine. However, as I slipped into that blissful state between sleep and consciousness, I knew Max and I had some things to work out.

So that was how I wound up sitting on a barstool at eleven the next morning, eyes still heavy from last night, waiting for Max to come downstairs, one leg jimmying on the rung of the stool. The rest of the Spicklers had already left to do one thing or another but I had told them to leave me behind. I felt like they were on to me as they shrugged and walked out the door until I realized that it was nothing new for me to wait for Max. We were friends after all. It was not like they knew we had kissed at three in the morning outside their bedroom doors last night.

Ten minutes later I heard footsteps on the stairs and the nervousness took over my body. He came around the corner, shirtless, rubbing sleep from his eyes, his hair sticking up a little in the front. The sight alone made my heart thud unevenly.

"Hey," Max said softly, coming to sit next to me on the other barstool. We sat staring straight ahead, neither of us speaking. At last, wiping my hands on my shorts, I got up the nerve to say something.

"Max, we need to talk," I said, turning to glance at him.

He looked down at the empty counter in front of me. "Have you eaten yet?" he asked, standing up. I shook my head. "Then let's go get some breakfast and talk it over there."

He rummaged through the laundry bin that sat on the floor as he spoke. When I did not answer, he stood up and tossed me some clothes. I gave him a look. "They're comfy, and clean, now go change and I'll meet you outside in three minutes."

"But I don't have any money," I stammered, feeling my face heat up.

"Then it'll be our first real date."

Max smirked and walked away, pulling on a second clean shirt that he pulled out of the basket. As he opened the front door, he turned around and saw me still sitting there. My expression must have been amusing, as he laughed and walked out. Jumping up quickly, I sprinted up the stairs into Grace's room. I tore my clothes off before pulling on what Max had given me, an old pair of his shorts and shirt for his band. Quickly noting how well they seemed to fit me, I pulled my hair up into a sloppy ponytail. Racing downstairs, I barely slowed down to slip on my flip-flops before jogging outside and hopping in the van.

As soon as I was in, Max sped out of the driveway and down the street, turning the music up loud as he did so. We began singing along, Max drumming on the steering wheel, as he recklessly rounded the corner onto the main road, tires squealing. I laughed out loud and he grinned, throwing a surprised glance my way before looking back at the road.

When we pulled into the Bob Evans parking lot, Max jumped out and began walking up the sidewalk to the door. I jogged to catch up with him and when I was right behind him, he grabbed two of my fingers in three of his, holding them loosely as he led the way inside.

"Two," he said before the hostess could ask.

She nodded, glanced at our fingers, and then led the way to a table against the far wall. We sat down and she left, before coming back two minutes later to take our orders.

"Two of the Cinnamon Hotcakes," Max said, knowing they were my favorite. She nodded and left and Max finally spoke up.

"Well," he began, playing with his fork. "Obviously, I like you. A damn lot. Too much," he added, looking up at me apologetically. I looked down at the tablecloth, pulling on a thread, trying to slow my heart down without any luck.

"I like you too. A damn lot," I added quietly, smiling slightly. "But what about Grace and Melanie? And your parents?" When I glanced up I saw him staring off above my head, his gaze far away.

"Hey," I said gently, touching his arm. "Stay with me here." He shook his head and returned his eyes to mine.

"When will you see my sisters again?" he asked me, reaching out to take my hand. He rubbed his thumb absentmindedly along the inside of my palm.

"Uh, tomorrow?" I guessed. He was making it hard for me to think.

"Okay, then when you see them…I guess it's best to tell them. Just say you like me, see what they say. And then go from there. They may be mad that we already talked about it."

I snorted and nodded. "Just a little bit," I said sarcastically.

He smiled and my reflex smile was instant.

"And your parents?" I asked, as the steaming plates of pancakes were set in front of us.

Max took a bite before responding. "Mmm," he said, eyes twinkling.

"Max?" I probed, taking a bite of my own. They were good. Really good.

"I'll talk to them tonight I suppose. Though they won't control it, I won't let them. But I know they're more protective of you than they are of me…" he trailed off, finishing off the first pancake in two more bites.

I smirked and finished my own. We left the restaurant minutes after that, Max leaving definite skid marks in the parking lot as we pulled away. He took my hand on the way home, holding it gently on his thigh, while maneuvering the van with his free hand. Twenty minutes later he pulled into my driveway, stopping in front of my garage. I gently pulled my hand from his, climbing out and walking around to his open window.

"Thanks for breakfast," I said softly. He leaned out the window slightly and kissed my forehead.

"I'll talk to my parents tonight," he said as he pulled away. "Don't forget to tell the trouble twins."

And then he was gone.

* * *

_I waited until the twins were clearing the table._

"_Mom, Dad, can I speak with you guys alone?" I saw Grace and Melanie scrutinize me before Mom looked up._

"_Grace, Melanie, go take Stevie for a walk."_

_At the mention of a walk, our fuzzball of a dog came bounding into the room, sliding across the wood floor into my chair. I shook my head and scratched his ears._

"_What? Mom!" Grace protested, but was silenced by Dad's gaze. They grudgingly got the leash and left, taking Stevie with them. Ten bucks they stood with their ears pressed to the front door, trying to hear the conversation but only ending up with splinters as proof._

"_What is it, Max?" Dad asked when the front door slammed shut. Mom looked at me expectantly._

"_Well…it's about Hayley," I said slowly, not really knowing how to begin._

_I avoided my parents' gazes. They probably thought I got her pregnant or something. At least Mom would._

"_What about Hayley?" Mom asked gently, though the curiosity burned in her voice. I heard her chair squeak as she scooted forward._

"_Uh, I like her?" It came out like a question, as I looked up to meet my parents' startled faces. They were shocked it was only that simple, it was obvious. Ha, simple. Right. "And she likes me too."_

"_Oh Max," Dad said softly, looking worried, though I knew it was not for my sake._

"_Max, don't do that to her. You know how every girl ends up," Mom said, looking slightly disapproving, though it had retreated_ _slightly when she realized I had technically done nothing wrong._

"_Mom, no," I said, hurrying to continue before she could debate my own feelings with me. "This is different. I really like her, as a person. Not for-" I cut myself off. That would have been awkward._

"_But Max, she's Grace and Melanie's best friend," Dad interjected, ignoring my unfinished sentence. "You can't do that to them either."_

"_Dad, it's not all me. I'm not the only bad guy. Hayley likes me back, remember?"_

_I closed my eyes for a minute, taking a deep breath. It was actually going better than I thought it would._

"_You know this for a fact?" Mom asked me, forcing me to look at her. Her face was stern now though I could see a sparkle in her eye. I knew she would think Hayley would be good for me, as long as I did not hurt her._

"_Yeah, she told me," I replied, leaning back. Dad sighed and stood up, going over to the sink and rinsing off his plate._

"_Okay," Mom said, also standing up. "When is Hayley going to tell the twins?"_

"_Tomorrow." Even if we had not already been planning on it, Mom would have made sure they knew._

"_Then after she tells them I want you all to come find us and we are all going to talk. We need to make this work somehow. Okay?" I nodded and got up, breathing a deep sigh of relief as I climbed the stairs to my room.

* * *

_

_Toes throbbing, sweat dripping from my short hair, and grass stains on every uncovered part of my body, I collapsed onto the sideline of the soccer field. After not having played for two years, my feet had outgrown my cleats, but I had no other alternative besides sneakers, which did not work well on turf. Kevin, Charlie, and Charlie's Brazilian exchange student, Alfonso, fell to the ground beside me. We had just played two on two for an hour, all of us going all out._

_Not knowing why the others had, I knew my sole reason was to forget about everything for a little bit and just play the game I had once loved. It was not until I had gotten to the field, after alerting the other three to meet me there, that I realized that they all still played soccer, while I had quit back after freshman year because the coach got on my nerves. _

"_That was…excellent," Alfonso said, struggling to find the right word._

_He had come for the summer and first semester of our senior year, and though he had only been here for three days, his English had already improved immensely. Laughing to myself, I figured he would be cussing with us within two weeks._

"_Yes, yes it was," I agreed, tearing my cleats off my feet. The relief was instant._

"_Why has it been so long since we've done this?" Kevin asked absently. No one had an answer. We just hadn't._

"_Well," Kevin said, standing up, cleats held up by the heel in one hand. "I'm supposed to meet Amanda for a party in twenty minutes." He walked away and we laughed. He would barely be home in twenty minutes._

"_Alright, we better take off too," Charlie said, and the three of us stood up and stretched. _

_As we walked towards the parking lot, Charlie spoke of the gigs we were supposed to play in the next month. I had forgotten to take my A.D.D. medicine that afternoon though, and found my mind drifting off to the most random of places._

"_Dude, stay with me," Charlie said, hand waving in front of my face. "Gig, on Tuesday, that's three days from now. It's at the P, you better be there, nine o'clock, but I'll talk to you before then."_

_I waved him off and climbed into the van, already thinking about something else.

* * *

_

"Hayley!" Jillian shouted my name, when she opened the front door.

"Hey Jill." I grinned as she tackle-hugged me. "Alright, get off of me, metal mouth," I said a minute later.

She had just recently gotten her braces on, and along with the rest of the Spicklers, I was giving her hell for it. And it worked. She let go of me, glaring as she attempted to slam the door. But I was quicker, sticking my foot out to keep it open a crack.

"That's not very nice, Metallic," Grace said, coming down the stairs and pulling the door back open. Jillian opened her mouth to say something before closing it and stalking off to her room.

"Aw, you know you love us!" I called, her slammed door drowning out the end of my sentence.

Grace and I laughed as we headed out to the backyard to where Melanie and Carly were carelessly throwing around a softball.

"Northwestern versus Michigan game next weekend, you in?" Carly called as we came down the steps. I nodded, smiling, as Melanie chucked the ball at me. I caught it, the laces stinging my hand, before tossing it in the air to Grace, who let it drop.

"You suck," Carly said to her, plopping down on the grass.

We joined her, sitting in a circle. It had been a while since we had all hung out like this, just the four of us, doing nothing but relaxing. We joked around for several minutes, in between Carly's stories about guys that she had met at her pre-camp dinner. She left in two weeks, and it had begun to hang over us. At one point, we all flipped over and lay facing each other on our stomachs, talking about pointless things, just enjoying each other's company.

And then Melanie looked at me and said, "So, any new guys in your life?" Grace and Carly turned to look at me also, probably to make fun of the blush that I knew was spreading rapidly through my cheeks.

"Oh, there must be someone, she's blushing!" Grace exclaimed, proving me right. I nodded before standing up. They all flipped back around and sat up as I paced back and forth in front of them.

"Hayley? Are you okay?" Carly asked. I nodded quickly to assure her.

"Well…" I began. And stopped abruptly. How in the world do you tell your best friends that you like a guy you shouldn't?

I turned around to face them before blurting, "I like Max."

They all sat there, stunned. Grace looked skeptical, Carly incredulous and somewhat disgusted. Melanie seemed to be the only one that was not too upset.

"Wait a second," Grace said. "Let me get this straight. You like Max?"

I nodded and she shook her head in disbelief. Carly started laughing at me, and I felt myself smile.

"Aw, I knew this would happen ever since they became friends," Melanie said.

"Yeah," Carly replied, "but the question is, does Max like you back?" I nodded again, my voice lost to me for the moment.

"My brother Max?" Grace asked, still in disbelief. I nodded. "Well at least he chose someone good this time," she said to me, standing up and walking over to pick up the softball. She tossed it up in the air and caught it before continuing.

"But Hayley, Max? You know how he is with girls…" She trailed off. She had told me the stories many times before.

I pressed my lips together, shrugging off the comment. "It's different."

She closed her mouth then, dropped the softball and headed back into the house. I sighed, still unsure of how her and Carly were really taking this, as they were good at hiding it. But Melanie seemed happy enough, which was shocking. Then again, she did get along the best with Max.

"Forget about Grace, she'll get over it soon enough."

I smiled wryly and sat down next to Carly, who leaned against me. "As long as you're happy," was all she said.

And then shouting from inside the house broke the silence of the backyard. Oh jeez, I thought. Grace had gone to Max. Just as soon as it had started, the shouting died, and Max popped his head out the door.

"You three, inside," he said, walking back inside and leaving the door open. We helped each other up before climbing the steps into the air conditioning. Mr. and Mrs. Spickler were sitting at the kitchen table, Max next to them at the head. Grace was nowhere to be found.

"Sit down girls," Mrs. Spickler said. "Actually, Carly, you don't have to listen to this." Carly nodded and sat down on the couch, clicking on the flat screen before turning the volume down.

"We need to talk, guys," Mr. Spickler said, leaning forward slightly, his elbows resting on the table.

"What about Grace?" Melanie asked, stealing a glance at Max.

I had carefully sat as far away from him as possible at the table, though that ended up being just on the other side of Mel. I knew I should give them time to get used to the idea, and sitting right next to Max would not be a good start.

Everyone ignored Mel's question, instead tuning into to what Mrs. Spickler said next.

"We're going to have to work out…a schedule of sorts," she said, wincing slightly. "I don't want to think its necessary, but it is. So when you, Hayley, are over here hanging out with the twins, Max should either be gone or in his room."

"We don't want to make it awkward," Mr. Spickler said apologetically. "Unless of course you all could hang out together."

Max snorted and glanced at me, smirking. I bit back my smile as I looked back at him.

"That's what I thought," Mrs. Spickler spoke again, shooting Max a look. "And then when Hayley is here, hanging out with Max-" at this, Carly snorted from the couch. I could see the quotations around that phrase in her mind and I again had to bite back a smile. "-the twins should be AWOL."

For now, Carly had turned the television off and was gazing at us with an amused expression. When Mrs. Spickler mentioned this, she nodded, knowing AWOL would mean at her house, and rolled off onto the floor, laying spread eagle on her stomach. Melanie grinned.

"Is that all, Mom?" Max asked, standing up. "I have band practice in ten minutes." She nodded and he left, waving at me as he headed down the stairs to the garage. My heart was still beating unevenly.

* * *

"Grace?" I knocked on her bedroom door for the second time, and this time it popped open. I peeked through the crack before pushing it open all the way to find Grace lying on the bed, her feet on the wall behind the headboard. When I came in she flipped around and sat up.

"Hi," she said, turning to look out the window. I sighed, slightly worried about her reaction.

"Grace, are you mad at me?" I asked softly, trying to go for a puppy dog look. It must have worked as her face melted.

"No, Hayley, I'm mad at Max. The way he still insists on liking you and going out with you when he is just going to hurt you in the end." She patted the empty space of comforter in front of her and I walked over and sat down.

"What makes you so sure he will?" I asked.

* * *

"_Alright, so I should warn you, they're a little crazy, but I hope they'll grow on you."_

_Band practice was at Charlie's house today and I had wanted Hayley to come along and meet my band mates. Of course, she already knew them from school, but I wanted her to truly get to know them. Today was really just a goof-off day for practice anyway._

_She smiled and squeezed my hand as we headed down the driveway to the open garage door. I was not sure if she was nervous or not. Her face betrayed nothing, though her eyes were dancing. As we got to the garage door, I could hear Tom playing a funky guitar riff, Charlie messing around on the keyboard. I knocked on the door and it opened enough so Hayley and I could get under, before Charlie closed it again._

"_Well, hello, you must be Hayley!" Tom said jokingly, setting down his guitar. She laughed and nodded. "Nice to meet you, I'm Tom!" he exclaimed, taking her hand and pumping it up and down dramatically. Her grin widened as Charlie came up and gave her a high-five._

_I looked around me and spotted Lex sleeping on the couch._

"_Here Hayley," I said, reaching down and picking up a mesh baseball that was lying on the ground. "Throw this at Lex," I added, gesturing towards his sleeping form. She looked wary._

"_Aw c'mon Hayley, he won't mind," Tom said, snickering._

_She bit her lip but took the ball from my hand, her fingers brushing mine. She raised her arm, but then froze._

"_Hayley, really, we do it all the time," Charlie said, going back to his keyboard. Suddenly, her arm flew forward and the ball smacked into Lex's exposed stomach._

"_Oof," he groaned, sitting up, his eyes half-open. "Max, I told you, if you do that one more time-" And then he stopped when he spotted Hayley smirking next to me. "Oh, I see, you got your girlfriend to do it," he said, the corners of his mouth turning up into a friendly smile._

"_Hi Hayley, I'm Lex, though I suppose you already knew that."_

"_Sorry to, uh, wake you up like that," she replied, though I could see she was not sorry at all. I laughed out loud before going to sit behind my drums. Hayley went over took Lex's place on the couch, curling her feet up underneath her._

"_Okay guys, I want it hard," Charlie said, picking up his guitar._

"_That's what she said," Hayley said quietly from the couch._

"_Ooh," Lex said, from his place in front of us all, dragging out the vowel. "She got you good."_

_I laughed and did the little drum thing, two beats on the snare with the cymbal at the end. _Bah Dum, Chh_. Tom snickered as Hayley blushed slightly, though she was grinning. Charlie glared at her for a minute until she glanced over at me and I nodded and winked, to let her know it was all right._

"_You know," Charlie said, as we were getting ready to leave, "I like this one Max, you better keep her."_

_I nodded and turned to find Hayley. She was over with Lex, laughing at something he had told her. My heart flipped over in my chest as I watched her, looking so honest and real. It made me happier than anything that she liked them and they liked her.

* * *

_**Woooo. Review! Tell me every thought that crossed your mind while reading. -**_Zoomie_**  
**


	7. Chapter 7

"_Okay, uh, that guy," Hayley said._

_She nodded her head in the direction of an elderly man with a little girl on his shoulders, standing in line at the McDonalds. _

"_Well let's see," I said, taking a good look at the guy. We were sitting in the food court at the mall, people watching. "I'd say her parents had some yard work that needed to be done, so he took his granddaughter out for a fun day. They probably are going to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner, and most likely just came from the park." _

_It was Hayley's idea to make up stories for random people that walked by. I turned to look at her and saw her watching the pair with a small smile, her face completely relaxed._

"_What are you thinking about?" I asked her then._

_The man and little girl sat down at a table and Hayley turned to look at me. I held her gaze in mine, neither of us saying anything._

"_I was actually thinking about the jungle gym at my old elementary school," she said, breaking the silence. I smiled and kissed her nose._

"_What about it?" I whispered against her lips, as she moved them to mine. She sat back and shrugged and I let it drop for now, instead nodding to the next mall-goer.

* * *

_

The noisy sound of chirping crickets and cicadas filled my ears as my car door opened and Max took my hand, helping me out of the van. We had left the mall an hour ago, so we could go back to his house to get a blindfold.

"What for?" I had asked. He had answered by simply tying it around my eyes as soon as we were back in the van.

Now, as he led me gently by the hand, the same two fingers he always held in his three, I felt my heart beating wildly. My curiosity was overtaking me, and I almost ripped off the bandana.

"Okay, we're here."

Max's voice reached my ears, coming from behind me, as he let go of my hand. And then the blindfold dropped, along with my jaw.

My legs immediately carried me over to the jungle gym, its silhouette all I could see in the light of the setting sun. I reached it and quickly began climbing, dropping down and swinging from the bars as soon as I had reached the top.

I had dropped and was sitting on the bark chips when Max finally reached the rusting metal shape. He looked slightly wary, his face smooth in the fading light, as he stepped through the bars and sat down across from me. I looked at him, really looked, and watched the way his eyes watched mine. How in this moment, he looked so cute, because he was completely vulnerable, nothing influencing him to be anything different.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him, the same question he had asked me a few hours before, on that bench in the mall. He looked off above my head before returning his gaze to me.

"You," he said simply, pulling me over and setting me in front of him, my head against his chest.

Wrapping his arms around me, he started us on the topic of music, and that soon faded into movies, which faded into random things. We stopped talking as the moon rose and just sat there, holding each other. Somehow, it was enough.

* * *

Just as we were leaving, fireworks began popping in the sky, all around us. I gasped, realizing I had forgotten about the Fourth of July this year. Max laughed, squeezing my hand as he pulled me to a stop and kissed me gently.

"Thank you, Max," I said softly as he dropped me off in my driveway.

He smiled, and again my reflex smile was instant. I leaned toward him and he met me half way, pressing his lips gently to mine. I broke away, came back and kissed his jaw, before finally climbing out of the van. He waited until I was inside the garage before speeding away, one honk echoing through the darkness. I grinned and hugged myself for a moment before stepping into the house.

"Hayley, is that you?" It was my mother. I had told her about Max the day he had told his parents.

"Yes, Mommy," I answered, walking down the hall to the kitchen where she was standing with a glass of wine, the newspaper spread open on the counter in front of her.

"Hi sweet pea," she said, setting the glass down. "How's Max?"

I walked over to the fridge, peering inside for something edible.

"Amazing," I replied, voice muffled by the many jars and bottles. I reappeared with a piece of frozen leftover pizza. "He took me back to the jungle gym at Crown," I added, though I knew she would not get as much meaning from it.

She smiled, picking up her wineglass again. "He sounds really sweet, Hayley. Be careful now, take good care of him," she said quietly. I nodded and left the kitchen.

I found Patrick in the basement, playing a video game. He did not even glance up as I came down the stairs. I was plopped on the other couch, halfway done with my pizza, when he finally finished a level and paused to look at me.

"Are you ready to play yet?" he asked. I grinned and caught the controller he threw at me.

* * *

"Popcorn or peanuts?" Carly asked me.

We were standing in line for the concession stand at the Michigan softball stadium. They had lost to Northwestern last week but we had decided to come back again this weekend to see them crush Ohio.

"Lemonade!" Melanie shouted, walking up.

Mr. Spickler and Grace trailed behind her. I figured that Carly's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Stone, must still be in the stands with Mrs. Spickler, saving our seats.

"Now, Melanie Spickler, that was not one of the choices," Carly said, masking her smile. And then I burst out laughing, which broke her mock seriousness and soon we were all laughing.

When we got back to our seats I took my place in between Mrs. Stone and Grace.

"So Hayley, I hear you've been seeing Max," Mrs. Stone said, a faint smile on her face. I looked around to her other side where Carly was pretending to be intent on watching the game. She ignored me and I looked back at her mother.

"Yes, I have," I said, laughing a little. The Stones and Spicklers were family friends so it figured Mrs. Stone would know.

"Well, I think you're good for him," Mrs. Stone said, giving me an innocent smile, before turning back to talk to Mr. Spickler who was seated on the other side of Carly.

I turned to Grace who was also pretending to watch the game. However, I kept up and stared at her until she at last looked over at me.

"Yes?" she asked, an eyebrow raised.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, before turning to watch the rest of the game myself.

* * *

"And that last play!" Mr. Stone exclaimed as we walked through the front door of the Spickler house.

"Of the second game? I know! Incredible!" Mrs. Spickler said, leading us into the kitchen. We were all laughing and smiling, everyone in a good mood. Michigan had absolutely killed Ohio.

"I mean the way she turned that doub-," Mr. Spickler began to say but cut himself off. Everyone stopped talking and I turned from a play-by-play conversation with Melanie to see Max standing by the barstools.

"Hi Max!" Mrs. Stone said, oblivious. He smiled and nodded politely to her.

"I didn't know you'd still be home," Mrs. Spickler said solemnly as she opened the pantry, pulling out a wine bottle for the adults.

"Uh, yeah, I was actually just leaving," Max replied, heading towards the front door as he did so.

He walked by me, brushing his fingers across mine as he passed, and then he was gone. I felt my face heat up and just knew that it looked like a fire hydrant. But everyone pretended not to notice, instead going back to the intense conversation. Grace was the only one who did not join in, instead running up the stairs to "change her clothes".

Max and I had decided in the beginning to keep the gestures small when we were around his family until they got used to the idea. Hence the finger brushing, instead of maybe a hug or even him ruffling my hair like he sometimes did.

And yet it still got to Grace. I did not know what else to do. Pushing it to the back of my mind, I went and joined everyone in the family room to watch the delayed game on the television.

* * *

The radio blared as we all lay out in Carly's backyard, painting our nails. We talked about everything from softball games to the new Target that opened up a few miles away. It was as if we had all forgotten about Max and myself, and I wanted to keep it that way. And then a song we all knew and loved came on the radio.

Carly and Melanie immediately jumped up and started dancing, both of them singing out of tune. Grace laughed and stood up, pulling me with her. She let go of my hand and ran over to the hose on the back of the house. Grabbing it, she raced back over to us, allowing the hose to untangle its way along, and started to sing into the nozzle, pretending it was a microphone.

I laughed, and my smile came so easily, as I watched them mess around. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and I never wanted that feeling to go away.

At last, we all calmed down and, after belting out three more songs and getting weird looks from cars that passed by, we flopped back onto the grass.

"Aw crap," Melanie said, glancing down at her bright yellow nails.

The rest of us looked at ours and groaned in unison. We had completely smudged the polish. And then Grace started laughing and soon we were all rolling around on the ground.

At that precise moment, I was finally happy.

* * *

_One, two, one, two, three, four, I counted in my head, clicking my drumsticks together as I did so. On four, we all came in, my drums pounding, guitar throwing out some riffs, singer belting out the lyrics, bass tying us all together. And then suddenly, we all stopped. The only thing still making sound was Charlie on the bass, and then I joined in on the rims of the snare. Tom played a few notes on guitar, keeping things quiet. Lex quietly sang a few lyrics. And then we burst into noise again._

_The Barracaden crowd screamed, jumping up and down, some people even banging their heads. I laughed out loud, still playing, though the sound was drowned out by another riff on guitar. And then it was time for my solo and I did not think about anything else but the music until the show was over._

"_Whew. Men, that was good," Tom said jokingly, setting his guitar on the couch in the backroom._

"_Yeah it was," I agreed, tossing my shirt onto the floor in front of the couch._

_I had thrown it off in between our third and fourth songs. It was still soaked with sweat. Even my shorts, the only thing left, were soaked. I almost wanted to gag, but hey, that was a good show for you._

"_When's our next show?" Lex asked Charlie as we left the building thirty minutes later. I glanced at my phone- eleven-thirty._

"_Uh," Charlie said, momentarily distracted as he squinted around the dark parking lot for my van. "Next Thursday?" he guessed, spotting it._

"_Only a week? Nice," I said, hating when shows were so far apart from each other._

"_Yeah, I think another jam session at my place on Monday will do the trick. Because then there is the Shane Park Battle of the Bands one week from Saturday." Tom stopped for a minute, moving his guitar case to his other hand._

_My heart jumped. That was our one-month. If we made it. But I immediately abolished that thought from my head. Of course we would survive.

* * *

_

_A week later we were sitting once again in the Marlette Shop back room, waiting for the first band to finish their set. Charlie and Lex were goofing off, wrestling each other on the ground, while Tom slept on the old, fraying couch, undisturbed._

_At last, the stage manager knocked and told us it was time to go on. I chucked a cookie at Tom and we all whooped and hollered as we jogged out onto the stage. Like always, as soon as I took my seat behind the drum set, I looked out into the crowd. And my eyes immediately found Hayley. My heart jumped as I saw her grinning at me, knowing she had surprised me. I smirked and narrowed my eyes at her, before starting another good show off with the count._

_As soon as we were finished, I headed off stage. Turning the corner I saw Hayley running towards me down the narrow hallway in the back of the building. Thinking quickly, I spread my feet and held out my arms and she immediately jumped into them, wrapping her legs around my waist._

"_Hi," she whispered, giggling, into my ear. I pulled my head back and looked at her for a second before moving my lips to hers._

"_Hi," I whispered back. _

_She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to mine, tightening her arms around my neck. I tightened my own around her waist, just breathing in her scent. At last, I slid her gently off of me, kissing her one last time, before linking my fingers through hers and leading her to the back room. I pushed open the door to find Lex gone, along with his things, and Tom and Charlie discussing something intently._

"_Hey, I'm taking off," I said, letting go of Hayley's hand to grab my backpack. _

_They looked up at me, their conversation pausing for a moment. "Alright," Charlie said. "Hi Hayley," he grinned and held out his hand for a high-five._

"_Hi Charlie," Hayley said. "Hey Tom." _

"_C'mon," I said, coming back and taking her hand again as the two went back to their conversation._

_We walked slowly out to the van, me watching Hayley as she looked up at the stars. Climbing in, I again reached over and took her hand, holding it on my thigh as I drove us back to the playground at her old elementary school. I had been so glad when she had liked it when I had first taken her. At least I had done one thing right._

"_Let's go!" Hayley shouted, her excitement apparent as we ran towards the swing set. _

_She threw herself onto one and I calmly walked behind her, my smile glued to my face as I finally saw the little kid in her. Gently, I started pushing her, until she was flying through the air. As she slowed down again, I sat down on the swing next to her._

"_My grandpa always use to say," she said, her feet kicking lightly in the air, "that he would push me over the bar one day, just to see if I would make it all the way around."_

_Her smile was sad and she grew quiet then. Grace had told me back when the two had first become friends that Hayley's grandpa had died of cancer years ago. The two of them had been closer than she now was to her brother._

_I took her hand, pulling her off her swing and onto my lap. She took my arms and wrapped them around her, holding them at her waist and leaning back into my chest. Gently, I placed my chin on top of her head, as a gentle breeze started up. When the moon came out, big and round above the treetops, Hayley lifted her head from my chest, and kissed right underneath my jaw, sending a tingle from that spot down to my toes that lasted until we climbed back into the van later that evening. I kissed her forehead and she leaned into me again._

"_Tell me something about you," she said, tightening her arms on my own. I could not see her face, so instead I stared at that bright moon._

"_Well," I said, not bothering to question her, "I'm adopted. Did you know that?"_

"_Mhm," she murmured. "Grace told me once. Tell me something else," she added patiently, resting her head against my shoulder now. _

"_Let's see. I hate roller coasters. Oh wait, you knew that." _

_She giggled. "Of course, goofball, don't you remember Cedar Point?" I could hear the smile in her voice as we both remembered the day._

"_Yeah, I couldn't forget it," I said._

"_You wouldn't let go of my hand after that ride," she laughed, pulling her head back to look at me. I smiled and kissed her softly on the lips, thinking again as she placed her head back on my shoulder, the breeze blowing the scent of her shampoo into my nose._

"_Okay. When I was eight, I had to get stitches because I fell off my bike and hit my head on the driveway. I've never ridden a bike again." I had a sharp pang then, for only a second, as I remembered that._

"_Wow," Hayley breathed, shifting in my arms. "I've never had stitches before. Or been stung by a bee." _

"_Seventh grade, on the soccer field during practice," I said, laughing._

"_You played soccer?" she exclaimed, pulling herself off of my lap and walking slowly toward the parking lot. _

_I jumped up and followed her, walking fast until I caught up. When I did, she grabbed my arm and linked it in hers, slowing our walk down until we were barely moving._

"_Yeah, I played for eleven years. Started when I was four and played until freshmen year." _

_The parking lot was coming at us too fast._

"_Why'd you stop?" Hayley asked quietly, leaning into my side. She kicked a rock along the foursquare blacktop._

"_Didn't like the coach," I said simply, before adding, "and I wanted to focus more on music."_

"_Ah. Do you ever miss it?" The rock hit the grass and disappeared beneath the long blades. I smiled._

"_Sometimes," was all I said. _

_And then we were at the van. I kissed her for a long minute at the passenger door before walking around and climbing in on the driver's side.

* * *

_

_That Saturday we came in second for Battle of the Bands, losing to a band that frequented the Shane Park shows. Afterwards, I met Hayley by the van-she had come to watch- and took her back to the house._

_I had informed the twins ahead of time to not be home and they had sighed but agreed, sticking true to their promise as we walked into a quiet house. Telling Hayley to go downstairs and pick out a movie, I walked over to the microwave and popped a bag of kettle corn, her favorite._

_Before I was even on the stairs, I heard the music. Walking through the basement door I saw Hayley there looking at me, as the opening chords of _Faithfully_ played. She smiled softly as I set the bowl down on the table and walked over to her, putting my hands on her waist. She wrapped her own around my neck, pulling me close to her._

_I moved us around in a slow, barely moving circle, our legs tangled together. When the most famous lyric was sang, Hayley pulled back and looked me in the eyes for a second before I kissed her._

_The garage door slammed and there were footsteps on the basement steps. We immediately pulled apart on the couch, just before the door opened. We were getting better at that._

"_Whatcha guys doing?" Jillian asked, coming in and eyeing the two of us._

"_Get out Jillian," I said firmly. _

_She stood her ground for a minute until my glare finally got to her and she left. I waited until her footsteps were in the kitchen before looking at Hayley._

"_That was close," I said simply._

"_Thank you Captain Obvious," she replied, laughing. _

_This was the first time we had actually kicked out my sisters to be alone down in the basement. We had been trying to stay away from the house so it would not be awkward. But I figured they needed to get used to it eventually._

"_Let's just watch a movie now," Hayley suggested, holding up the DVD that she had selected when we had first gotten home. _

_I smiled and took it from her, going over to put it in the DVD player. I came back and sat down next to her, so our arms touched, kicking my feet up onto the end table and intertwining Hayley's ankles with mine._

_I realized I had forgotten to see what movie she had chosen when the first scene started._

"_A scary movie?" I asked, turning my head to look at her. She glanced up at me. "Since when do you like scary movies?"_

"_Since you're here," she said shrugging, as if the answer was obvious. I smiled and kissed her temple before turning back to watch._

_And it was not even thirty minutes in before her face was buried in my t-shirt sleeve._

"_You did realize that this is the all-time scariest movie, right?" I asked, turning away for a minute. It was true. The original Halloween is the all-time scariest movie._

"_Mhm," she mumbled into my arm, screaming in reaction to the scream on the television. "Grace tried to get me to watch it once, but I didn't make it through the entire thing. I thought I'd try it again with you," she added, lifting her head for a minute._

"_Well just try watching it then," I suggested softly, putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling her even closer to me. "It's just a movie."_

"_Says the guy afraid of the smallest roller coaster," she muttered, smiling for a second. I narrowed my eyes but had nothing to say back, which made her laugh._

_At last, about ten minutes later, she stood up and walked over to turn it off, ignoring my snickers._

"_Real brave, Hayley," I commented, standing up and stretching. She came over and stood in front of me, her eyes narrowed._

"_You're lucky I like you so much," she said, wrapping her arms around my waist.

* * *

_

"Talk to me," I said, thinking it was Grace or Melanie, or even Carly. I never really looked at caller-ID anymore. By this point, Will and I had talked and had decided to remain friends. He apologized profusely for the spin the bottle game at the party, and I could not help but forgive him. After all, we had always been close.

"Hayley?" Will's voice echoed through the phone.

"Will! Hey!" I exclaimed, a grin spreading across my face.

"Hey yourself! I haven't talked to you at all this summer. Did you want to do something tonight? Maybe go bowling with a few people?" I watched Max in the 7-Eleven as Will talked. He, Max, filled up two large cups of slurpees, blue raspberry for him, cherry melon for me.

"That sounds excellent!" I replied, glancing at the clock. "What time?"

Max headed up to the register, digging out his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. When it finally came out of the denim I saw something flutter to the ground. Max glanced nervously out at the van before bending down to pick it up, attempting to shove it discreetly into the deep recesses of his jeans.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe seven-ish?" Will guessed, and I knew he was probably looking at the clock too, seeing that it read only three-thirty.

"Okay, that sounds good. Want me to call Carly and Grace?" I asked, as Max pushed open the door with his hip, his hands full. I purposely left out Melanie, as I knew the two did not really know each other since Melanie went to the 'smart school'.

"Yeah, I can call Carly, but I assume you'll be at Spicklers' today? You can invite Melanie too if you want."

"Okay. Yeah, I'm going there right now actually. And invite Eric too," I added. "Then you won't be taken over by girl power."

Max looked at me strangely as he had just opened the van door when I said that. I laughed and shook my head, taking my slurpee and mouthing thank you. He kissed me on the cheek and shut his door, revving the engine at the same time.

"Yeah, that might be a good idea. Maybe Alex too. Alright-y then, I'll call you back with more details."

"Okay, Will, bye!" I hung up and turned to Max who was pulling back out onto the main road.

"Doing something with Will tonight?" he asked. I loved how he didn't get jealous at all. But then again, I guess it made it easier that I had already tried going out with Will once and that had not turned out well.

"Yes sir," I said, smiling. "We are going bowling." He grinned and shook his head, taking a sip of his slurpee

"You're too cute, you know that?" he glanced quickly at me before looking back at the road.

"Of course," I said, grinning now. I took one of his hands off the steering wheel and intertwined my fingers with his, resting it on my lap.

"Max?" I said over my bright yellow straw, special request that Max never forgot.

"Mm?" he murmured, distracted, as he tried to find a good radio station.

"What fell out of your pocket with your wallet?" I asked, trying to be casual about it. There was something about his glance out to the van before picking it up that got to me.

"What?" he asked quickly, shooting a glance at me. "Uh…nothing fell out of my pocket."

"Max. I saw you," I said, wondering what was worse, that I was pressing the matter or that Max was lying to my face.

"Hayley, it's nothing baby, really," he said, leaning over to kiss me but I turned away.

Sighing, he let go of my hand as we reached a red light and dug into his back pocket. He pulled out his wallet, slipping the paper out. He held out his hand, the paper clenched between two fingers. It was slightly wrinkled in one corner, creased with a lot of folding.

My heart was beating wildly as I put my slurpee on the dashboard and took the paper. There was no reason why I should feel suspicious about this until Grace's word rang in my head. _"…When he is just going to hurt you in the end"._ Hurt me.

With unsteady hands, I unfolded the paper, feeling Max's eyes on me as I did so. I found myself staring at me, a picture that Melanie had had pinned up in her room since softball season. The shot had been snapped at the end of one of our softball games, Melanie's arm thrown around my neck though she had been cut out so it was only my grinning face.

"Are you happy now?" Max asked quietly, his voice raw with vulnerability.

I glanced up at him, my eyes soft. He looked guarded as I handed the picture back to him. He avoided my eyes as he shoved his wallet back into his pocket.

"Hey," I whispered, grabbing his chin so he would look at me.

Leaning forward, he met me halfway, his lips making my tingle all the way down to my toes.

We broke away abruptly as honks came from all around us. Laughing, Max pulled away from the intersection, pulled away from the first jealous moment I had ever experienced.


	8. Chapter 8

While Max went upstairs, I called Grace to let her know when Max was leaving so they knew when they could come home. After I hung up, I headed downstairs, flipping on the old television and settling on the couch. Max joined me a few minutes, sitting close to me, his arm touching my arm, his leg against my leg, our feet up on the table. I sank into his side, my head resting on his shoulder.

"What's your favorite holiday?" he asked me, flipping through the channels. I thought for a minute, considering all the options.

"Halloween," I said at last. "The jack-o lanterns, the costumes, the candy. It's the perfect holiday. Except for Christmas. But you don't get dressed up on Christmas."

"Well you could. Like that Santa guy you all look up to but don't actually believe in." I shot him a look and he smirked. "I'm just kidding, Hayley. Halloween is my favorite too."

An hour later he stood up, pulling me up with him, and kissed me goodbye, touching his forehead to mine for a brief instant. I kissed him once just under his jaw before he pulled away.

"I'll see you later, okay?" he said, as I gave him one last hug, breathing in his scent, which clung to his sweatshirt.

Not more than ten minutes later, the twins and Carly were coming in noisily through the garage door.

"Hey!" Carly exclaimed when she saw me. I grinned and did our secret handshake; high five, low five, behind one back, behind the other, pound of the fists and spirit fingers.

"When are we leaving for bowling?" Melanie asked, heading out the back door as Grace raised an eyebrow at Carly and me. "And are we getting fed?" she added as we followed, laughing.

The grass was cool and soft as we spread out on our backs and stomachs. Carly had brilliantly thought to bring down the iPod speakers for background music as Melanie told us a story of her crazy chemistry teacher from her 'smart school'. Soon we were all rolling around laughing.

"Mel, I'm switching to your school!" I gasped, still clutching my stomach from the hysterics.

"Me too!" Carly said, picking a piece of grass out of my hair. We all looked at Grace who snorted.

"I like having a life, thanks anyway," she said, dodging Melanie's slap.

"Oh crap guys, do we have a ride to bowling?" Carly asked suddenly, sitting straight up. On instinct, I glanced at my phone. It was seven.

"Shit," Carly murmured, looking over my shoulder at the time.

"Just call Max or something," Grace said. "Or Dad, or Mom, or Hayley call your brother." I nodded and we all called someone. None of the Spicklers answered their phones. Carly's parents didn't answer either. But I got through to Patrick.

Ten minutes later we were walking out of the house.

"Shotgun!" Melanie called. We all groaned but didn't bother to argue. After all, the rules of shotgun were very clear.

"Way to go, ninnies," Patrick said as we climbed into his Jeep. "You're all good at planning these things, aren't you?"

We got to the bowling lanes twenty minutes after everyone else but they were still eating pizza.

"Hey Will!" I shouted, waving obnoxiously because I knew it would make him laugh.

"Hayley!" He called back, handing me a slice of pizza and grinning at Carly, Mel, and Grace as we got closer. "What's going on?"

The rest of the night was talking, laughing, having a good time. We picked on each other naturally and comfortably, falling back into the old way we used to hang out together. Melanie, Will, Alex, and I formed a team and wiped the floor with Carly, Grace, and the two other guys Will had recruited.

At eleven, we cleaned up and left, hugging goodbye and promising calls in the following week. The four of us were the last ones there, waiting for Max to come and pick us up after his show. He was late, as usual.

"So Alex gave me his number," Melanie said into the quiet darkness, as we sat shoulder to shoulder against the building, the only sound coming from the cars that rushed by on the road.

"No way!" I exclaimed, turning and slapping her shoulder. "And you just say something now!" She shrugged and Carly laughed.

"Uh oh, Carly," Grace said, leaning over Melanie and I to look at her. "We're going to be the only single people here in a little bit." She said it so lightly, I had to smile.

"Oh no," Carly said, pretending to gasp. "What ever shall we do?" Mel and I busted up, shaking each other with our laughter.

And then headlights swung across the parking lot and a horn honked. Grace sighed, grumbling, and stood up, helping the rest of us get up.

"Shotgun!" Melanie called again, running to jump in the car. We followed slowly behind her, all piling in the beat up van.

"Max," Carly said tightly, shoving Grace in the back so her and I could sit in the middle seats.

"Smelly," he said nodding to her, smirking as she hit him. His eyes swung to me in the rear view mirror for a quick second before he started the van and pulled away recklessly from the curb.

* * *

"_Good morning gang!" Our band director, Thomas Reynolds, greeted us as we stepped out into the early sunshine and onto the old field we used at the small-town college we stayed in. It was the first full day of camp, after two days of pre-camp and a half-day yesterday. We all looked at him blankly._

"_Cheer up!" he exclaimed from his tower. "It's a beautiful day for marching band!"_

_Sighing, we all picked up our instruments. Secretly, I was glad to have the snare harness back on me, a walking drum. I was excited to get going on this, my last year, and I was going to make sure it was the best one yet. The only one that really knew this though was Hayley, and most likely the drumline leader, Carl._

"_Basses, let's go!" Carl yelled at that moment, as the basses were late, even this early in the game._

_I shook my head and got in my spot in the block formation we did for marching fundamentals. We had barely taken three steps in the first drill before Reynolds was yelling into his microphone for us to stop._

"_Come on, veterans, it hasn't been that long!" _

_He sighed loudly and we started again, somehow making it only two more steps than before until we were stopped. Reynolds had one of the junior trumpet players demonstrate the proper way to march before sending us back._

"_Do better, do better, do better!" Reynolds called, his signature mantra. "That means you, Spickler!" _

_I almost had to laugh at the familiarity of it all. It had been too long, but everything was now back to normal, including Reynolds' continuous yelling at me.

* * *

_

"_That was killer," Hayley said, plopping down onto the couch next to me, her hair still dripping from the shower. I leaned into her, breathing in her scent of shampoo and lotions._

_It was the end of our day, about nine o'clock, and we had an hour and a half left before lights out. My feet ached and my neck cracked whenever I moved it, but I was still glad to be back._

_One of the juniors flipped on the old television set, immediately finding the comedy station and our favorite band camp comedian, Jim Gaffigan._

_Soon we were all sitting around on the various couches and chairs, and even some on the floor, laughing. People were sitting on each other's laps and some were lying across three people on a couch. This was what band camp was all about, and I was glad as hell to spend it with Hayley my last year._

_Thinking this, I pulled her onto my lap, leaving a space that was immediately filled by Grace, who had just walked up with wet hair. I sighed but held onto Hayley tightly around the waist._

_Some people had not known we were with each other until they had seen us at pre-camp. It was strange, I felt like everyone should have known._

_Every once in a while, throughout the next two comedians, I'd glance over at Grace and would find her giving me the evil eye. She would look away, though, as soon as she knew I had seen it. I sighed and Hayley twisted around in my arms to look at me, her eyes questioning, oblivious to Grace's expression. I smiled wryly and she kissed me on the corner of the mouth before turning back around. I squeezed her waist quickly and she responded by leaning back against my chest and resting her head against my own._

_Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Grace looking pointedly in the opposite direction as she tried to start a conversation with Taylor, one of two girl bass drummers. They had become friends last year when Taylor had transferred from Boston._

_I looked around me at the various band camp couples- couples who only hooked up and did couple like things here at the college but then went back to normal when we got back into the school year. I was glad Hayley and I had come into this already a couple, but I wondered if we would have even been a band camp couple if I had never kissed her that one night back in June._

_As if sensing this, Hayley turned her head to kiss my cheek before squirming around in my arms until she was facing Grace, who was thankfully still turned around talking to Taylor, her nose inches from my throat._

_I saw the other bass drummer across the room looking at me with an 'aw' expression. I rolled my eyes at her, smirking, before glancing around the other side of the common area. There, some of the dorkier kids sat at the table playing cards. The staff members sat watching the television on that side of the room. A few kids were outside playing Frisbee; I could barely see them out in the dark through the window if I turned my head. It was a typical night at band camp, and I could not be happier._

_Reynolds came breezing through at ten o'clock, yelling at us all to get back to our respective hallways. Boys were on one side of the dorms, girls on the other. Everyone got up and left, moaning and groaning. Slowly, after most of the kids were gone, I lifted Hayley up off of my lap, standing her up next to me. She buried her face in my t-shirt for a minute and then pulled away. I leaned down and kissed her lips._

"_Goodnight," she said softly, and it reminded me of that night we had first kissed._

"_Goodnight," I whispered back, against her lips. And then Reynolds came bustling back through._

"_To bed!" he said to the two of us and the last three people that were on the couch. "Let's go Spickler!"_

_He kept walking, back to the boys' dorms and when he was gone I fake saluted. Hayley laughed, her eyes dancing, before we said goodnight for a final time, and walked back to our own rooms.

* * *

_

_At seven the next morning I was shaken awake by Mitch, one of the tuba players and my roommate._

"_You going to breakfast dude?" he asked, pulling on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. The mornings here were always cold and dreary, a complete opposite of the sunny and ninety degree afternoons._

_I mumbled something incoherent and rolled out of bed, also pulling on sweats. On our way out the door, I grabbed my room key, shoving it in my pocket, and my bright orange trucker hat. I walked slowly, and eventually fell far behind Mitch who was too hungry to walk with me, but I barely noticed._

_At last I got to the campus cafeteria, one of the last ones to arrive, and headed over to load up my plate with cereal, toast, and pancakes. Almost mechanically, I headed towards the drumline table, the same one we had sat at for the past four years. It was tradition for us to sit together for breakfast and dinner. Lunch was wherever you pleased, unless we were rehearsing back by the dorms, which only happened when our adult leader, John, thought we were sucking it up._

_I passed Hayley on the way, where she was sitting with Grace, and I just ruffled her hair but kept walking. I was glad she wasn't one of those girls who always needed to be with you, or touching you, or kissing you. _

_As I set down my tray on the table, I glanced back at Hayley. She smiled at me before looking back to her friends.

* * *

_

For our half-day off, our fourth day of band camp, we were free to either go swimming in the campus pool or sleep. Max and I decided to sleep. As soon as Reynolds left to take the few golfers golfing, I tiptoed over to the boys' dorm, walking quietly down the hall until I found Max's room.

I raised my fist and was just about to knock when the door opened and Max's roommate, Mitch, stepped out. He smirked at me and walked down the hall the way I had come, towel slung around his neck. He was a really good diver and we had double-checked to make sure he would be going to the pool this afternoon.

"Hey Maxipad," I said, walking into the room. The door fell shut behind me.

He turned from the stereo he had brought and walked over, wrapping his arms around me, just holding me to his chest. I breathed in deeply, his smell of soap and dryer sheets. He pulled me over to his bed and we sat down in front of it, our backs resting against the mattress.

"Are you still thinking of joining the Army?" I asked him softly, turning my head to look at him. He was already looking at me, our noses almost touching and then he turned his head away.

"I don't need to think anymore. I know I'm joining the Army," he said, his eyes straying to the ceiling where they stayed for the quiet minute that followed.

"Do your parents know yet?"

My voice was barely above a whisper. I watched him as I asked this, and saw him wince slightly before he turned to look me in the eye.

"No, they don't know. I don't think I'm going to tell them until I've already signed up." He sighed and I took his hand in mine, tangling our fingers.

"I think you should tell them. I think they'd be proud of you."

I was being gentle, trying not to push him into doing anything he did not want to do. But I knew Mr. and Mrs. Spickler would be proud of him just like I knew I was proud of him.

"Can we talk about something else?" Max asked after a minute. I nodded, pressing my palm against his. "Tell me something about you," he said. "Anything."

I had to think for a minute. It felt like there was nothing he did not know about me already, but there had to be something.

"When I was younger, my family and I used to go to this-" I cut myself off to press a hand against my head. There was a sharp pain there, something that made me wince and squeeze my eyes shut tight.

"Hayley?" Max asked, his voice concerned.

He pulled me closer to him, studying my face. I dropped my hand and smiled wryly. The pain was subsiding now.

"I'm fine," I said quietly, giving him another small smile.

He looked at me for a minute, his eyes full of worry, but then loosened his grip on me, so I fell into his side. I adjusted myself and waited a minute before continuing my story.

"We used to go to this beach up north and spend a week there with our family friends every summer. We went there from the year I was born until I was about ten years old. Then they sold the group of cottages, including the one we would rent, to private owners, and we haven't been back since. But I swear, when I die, some of my spirit will go there. It was my home for so long."

We were quiet for a minute. I was thinking about that beach, and that cottage, and all the memories from those times. I didn't know what Max was thinking about, and then he spoke.

"That's like the old house in New Jersey," Max said, intertwining his fingers through mine. I knew the Spicklers had lived in New Jersey all their life until they moved here when Max was to start high school. "It was, still is, my home. Most of my life so far was spent there. I'll never forget it. We almost went back to visit last summer."

I nodded, remembering Grace mentioning that once or twice at band camp last year. Grace, who was now swimming with Taylor in the campus pool. I wondered guiltily if she knew I had come here to Max's room.

"I don't want summer to end. I want to live in a place where it's always summer." I tightened my arms around Max, closing my eyes and picturing the way this summer had gone so far. I sighed happily.

"It has to eventually," Max said, also sighing.

"But not yet," I said and leaned up to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, fingers brushing the skin underneath my tank top.

"You're beautiful," he murmured against my lips as I settled back into him.

"So are you," I said, as he kissed my jaw. He laughed out loud, the sound reverberating through his chest and into me.

* * *

I woke with a jolt, not knowing why until I heard a second door slam. I sat up and looked back down at Max, who was snoring lightly. His room was hot, just like it is after you sleep for a long time, and I automatically glanced at the clock. We had five minutes to get outside for our evening rehearsal.

"Max!" I said loudly, shaking him.

He sat up and looked at me, eyes wide. And then he smiled. I smiled back and kissed him but then stood up, pulling him up with me.

"C'mon! We're gonna be late!" I said, my voice rough and scratchy from sleep, gesturing at the clock.

He immediately slipped his shoes on, straightening his t-shirt and running to the door. He peeked out and then waved to me. As fast and quietly as possible, I raced out of the boys' dorm and back to my own room to get my instrument. I could see Reynolds already outside, climbing his tower.

"Jeez, Hal, we're going to be late!" Grace said when I burst into the room a minute later.

She threw my shoes to me and I pulled them on quickly, grabbing my instrument case out of her hand as we raced out the door, barely taking the time to lock it. I was glad she didn't say anything else on the matter, though I knew she was probably thinking it all.

* * *

For the last day of band camp, each class did a skit, and that's where we were Friday night.

I sat up and squirmed around in my seat before sitting back. The seats in the auditorium here were almost too comfortable.

"Sit still!" Taylor whispered jokingly, as the seniors took the stage to do their skit. Freshmen had already gone, embarrassing themselves in a skit that dragged on, just like they did each year, like my class had done last year. But this year, our skit had been a riot, getting everybody to laugh, even Reynolds, as we reinvented his childhood, and made him out to be a bad kid like the ones he picked on in band now, like Max. We even had one of the kids act Max out, with his inattentiveness and goofiness. Like I said, everyone laughed. Ours was by far the best, especially better than the juniors, who made a pyramid, and the staff, who reinvented a training movie. But now the seniors were up, and we were all anxious to see if they could outshine us sophomores.

Suddenly the lights went out, and we all turned around to see Carl by the switch, smirking. And then a spotlight came on from the balcony, and the silhouette of Dan White could just barely be made out standing next to it. We turned around to see the spotlight shining on Max and Bob Grille, who began to sing along with the song coming out of the iPod speakers that Benny, a drum major, started.

As they started singing, the spotlight went off and the other lights came on and soon Dan and Carl joined Max and Bob, along with Rachel Turner and Tory Packer. They swayed back and forth with the song, getting goofy, as the rest of the seniors did a stupid dance. And then the song picked up and I realized they were making up the words to the song, filling in their own with inside jokes from the past four years.

When it was over they bowed and we all gave them a standing ovation. I realized, much after everyone else apparently, that they had made up words for the entire song, performing it, and it actually had made sense, getting us to laugh.

"Our skit still rocked," Grace whispered in my ear. I nodded in agreement but my eyes were on Max, who looked over at me, a big grin on his face, before they all took another bow.

When it was all over, we got up and left, packing our things before dozing off, only to be woken up five hours later to get on the bus and go home.

* * *

The last week of summer came up faster than I was expecting. I spent every day and most nights at the Spickler house, whether it was with the twins, Max, or Jillian. We soaked up as much of the sun as possible, either by falling asleep in the backyard only to wake up with funky tan lines later, or heading down the road to Carly's pool. None of us really knew where the money came from but we managed to scrape enough together to get takeout from a different place each night for dinner.

The last day I spent completely with Max, first with a nap in the backyard, before we decided to set up a sprinkler and run through it. By dinnertime we were starving, and hopped into the van, still wet. We ended up at the Jug, where we split a large plate of fries and a cheeseburger. As soon as we pulled into the driveway back home, Max was jumping out and taking my fingers in his, leading me to the small slurpee building.

We had just enough money left to each get a small slurpee, which we took around to the side, finishing them as the sun set on our last day of freedom.

* * *

**Okay if you had not read the A/N in AOD then check it out. Thanks to Miss Understood and her review to Jasey Ray where she also mentioned me, I got the kick in the butt I needed. So, as the description says, this will be the final rewrite. I had already planned on it being so, but I thought I should make it absolutely official. I will be finishing this story, because I don't want to leave it hanging, but then I will be moving forward with AOD. **

**Thanks for sticking with me, those of you that have. (pixidancer :P) It's been great, but it's not over yet.**

**-Zoomie  
**


	9. Chapter 9

_The first day of school popped up and pulled a sneak attack on me a week later. First I was sitting with Hayley at the slurpee building and the next thing I knew, I was walking across the senior parking lot, my index wrapped around her pinky as she walked slightly behind me, talking to Grace. I was barely listening to their conversation, only catching bits and pieces of it._

"_If Marcus assigns homework on the first day, I'm shooting him," Grace said now and Hayley nodded fiercely in agreement._

"_Do you remember last year when we got that two page essay from him, due the next day?" Hayley said, shaking her head. "Maybe his AP classes are different."_

_I snorted. "Good luck with that one," I muttered, lifting my hand at Tom as we walked by._

_Hayley slid her finger from mine so she could slap me with that hand but I grabbed it before she hit me and just slid my fingers back around hers. She sighed but I saw her smile out of the corner of my eye._

"_Twenty bucks you have more homework not including an AP class than we do with one," Grace challenged me, sticking out her hand. I shook my head and smirked._

"_Mom doesn't like it when I take money from you so easily," I replied, stepping into the school, a shiver running down my spine as soon as I did so._

"_Ew, school," Hayley mumbled, voicing my thoughts._

_I laughed and turned to kiss her before she followed Grace off to Marcus's AP history class. And then I was off to Modern Lit, which I hated, barely made better by the fact that I had the most well liked teacher in the entire school._

"_Late on the first day, Mr. Spickler?" Mr. Furlong said to me with a smirk, not bothering to mark me tardy, as I walked in on the middle of his introduction._

"_So sorry, Mr. Furlong, I lost my way," I said in a fake British accent._

_Everybody laughed as I took my seat in the back of the room, directly across from Lex, who high-fived me as I got settled. I sighed and turned to look at Furlong._

"_Are you ready, Max?" he asked me sarcastically, but I saw his eyes twinkle for a moment._

"_Yes, please go on," I said, waving my hand as he went on lecturing about class requirements and what he expected from us all. I had heard the speech on expectations for the past three years from every teacher, so this year I didn't even bother to pay attention, while making it look like I was as I daydreamed about the summer.

* * *

_

_Seniors were granted open lunch, meaning we could drive off campus for the lunch period. So as the lower-classmen all tramped towards the health-violation of a cafeteria, I headed out to my van with Mitch right behind me._

"_Quizno's or Rio Wraps?" I asked him, gunning it and speeding out of the parking lot._

_Bowie, the security guard and the one who checked for lower-classmen sneaking out to lunch, shot me a look from his post but didn't say anything. I wasn't the only one who liked to floor it, though I was the only one that went almost double the speed limit._

"_Taco Tuesday man, Rio's!" Mitch exclaimed as we zipped across the street and through the junior parking lot and then a back parking lot to the plaza right next to the Rio Wraps. It was nice; our school was almost directly across the street from a plaza filled with fast food restaurants._

_As soon as we walked in I saw half our student body there, not only seniors but juniors that sneaked out and some sophomores that had senior friends. I shook my head, wondering if I should ever invite Hayley, risking us both getting suspended, or just spend a few lunches in the cafeteria._

_Mitch and I ordered and ate, sitting with Charlie and Alfonso, who was here until he went back to Brazil at the end of this semester. His English had improved immensely from the few times I had talked to him over the summer. He was even cursing now, just like I had predicted._

"_Shit!" he exclaimed now, in his accent, as a glob of taco meat dripped and landed on his soccer jersey. I laughed-it still got to me- and he shot me a look. I held up my hands in surrender before going back to my last taco._

"_So Max, there's this venue in Lapeer that wants us to play a set next weekend. Think you want to do it?" Charlie asked me, taking a long exaggerated sip of his large Diet Coke._

"_Sounds pretty decent," I said, finishing off the taco and crumpling my wrappers. "Night show?"_

_I got up to throw my trash away, weaving between all the tables filled with students on the way. As I turned to go back to the table I saw an elderly couple walk in the door, take one look at all of us kids, and turn around to leave._

"_Yeah, night show. Ten o'clock," Charlie said as I sat back down, laughing._

"_Sweet. Did they say who else would be playing?"_

"_Just Eclipse, Broken Road, and Lighted Fire. We are closing, I think. Perishing Republic may go after us, but then that's it. They're still waiting to hear from them."_

"_I've heard of everyone else, but who's Eclipse? They from the north?" I asked, standing up with everyone else as we headed back to our cars._

"_Yeah, somewhere over in Waldenburg, I think. I think they won their Battle of the Bands, but don't quote me on that." _

"_Well, it sounds like a plan to me," I said, climbing into the van.

* * *

_

_After school I met Hayley in the little alcove by the theatre, where the only people that hung out there were, obviously, the theatre geeks, though I knew most of them._

"_Hey," she said softly, walking up and sinking into my arms. She pulled her head back and kissed me, tightening her arms around my middle._

"_Hi," I whispered against her lips as she moved them from the corner of my mouth down to the spot right underneath my jaw._

_A shiver ran down my spine to my toes, making a pit stop at my heart along the way._

"_How was the first day?" I said quietly, as she buried her face in my t-shirt._

"_Well, it was school," she said back, her laughed muffled. _

_She walked with me out to the van, her fingers tangled in mine, as we dodged the other crazy senior drivers, walking slowly. Usually I would stay after school but today Mom was making me go to the doctors to get my physical though I no longer played any sports._

"_So I'll text you later?" Hayley asked me as we reached the van. I nodded and put my hands on her hips, pulling hers to mine._

"_After the appointment. It should be done by four-ish," I said, kissing her softly on the lips._

_She kissed me back before stepping away as I climbed into the van. I waited until she was walking back towards the school before whipping out of the parking lot and speeding down the road.

* * *

_

I was glad we were not one of those couples that had to constantly be together, or be hooking up, or whatever. We did not even have to be touching all the time, though we generally held hands if nothing else, and that was enough. And each time I saw Max, my heart spazzed in my chest, pounding so loud I was sure someone would hear.

But now that we were a couple at school, I could see Grace going back to how she was before. She never laughed or smiled like she used to, and she rarely looked at me during lunch, though we still talked constantly. Even Melanie was less smiley than she used to be whenever we hung out. It worried me.

"Maybe it's just school," Max suggested quietly when I told him this, as we walked down the hallway, his index around my pinky. We had been back for a few weeks now.

The bell had just rung and people were still milling around, calling to each other, getting in a last word before they rushed off to a sports practice or musical rehearsal. Through the crowd I saw Will racing past with his soccer bag, Taylor following close behind with her volleyball shorts.

"Maybe," I said as we rounded the corner to the main hallway. "How are they at home now?" I asked him after a minute. We had never really talked about it before.

"Grace always looks kind of mad whenever she sees me, I guess, though that really isn't anything new. Melanie doesn't smile half as much as she used to. But Hal, that could be because of school crap."

"Yeah," I said, "But they see us together at school. Maybe they thought we'd break up after a month or so."

"But it's been almost three months," Max replied, though his voice suddenly seemed off. "You'd think they would have gotten used to it by now."

"Yeah," I replied, though my stomach flipped. Three months? I smiled in spite of myself. "But they were never around us before. Now Grace sees us together here everyday. And she probably tells Melanie, or Melanie asks about it. I don't know, it just worries me."

We let the subject drop after that, kissing quick at the passenger door to the van before climbing in. Even when he was frustrated, Max was always so gentle with me. But was it too much for his sisters? I could not lose my best friends over a guy, especially when that guy was their brother.

* * *

"I'm home!" I shouted, walking in through the garage. My voice bounced around the empty hallway.

"Down here!" I heard Patrick's faint shout from the direction of the basement. I dropped my backpack in the family room, grabbing a juice box out of the fridge before continuing on and down the stairs.

"Hey," I said, plopping down beside him as he stole a car and started to outrun the police on the video game he was playing. "What's up?"

He groaned as his car spun out and over the barrier into the lake. He swam around for a minute before walking up onto the beach.

"Not much. I finally asked Julia Derry out today at lunch."

He made his way around a corner, pulling out his gun and killing a guy that tried to shoot him. I looked at him, shocked, a grin spreading across my face. He had been trying to ask out this Julia chick for a long time but for some reason he always chickened out. It was so unlike Patrick that I knew he really must like the girl.

"And?" I prompted, pulling my knees up to my chest and resting my chin on them.

"I'm picking her up Friday night for a movie," he said after a moment, grinning. I ruffled his hair.

"Congrats Big P!" I exclaimed. "You know that tomorrow is Friday, right?"

I was sleeping over at Spicklers', as Max would be at some show in Lapeer.

"Yeah, I know."

We were quiet for a minute as three guys jumped out of a car. He managed to kill them all but not before they severely damaged his health. "Thank the Lord," he added quietly. I laughed.

"So how's the Max situation going?" he asked me, getting up to switch the games.

"I'm getting worried about Grace and Mel," I told him as he sat back down and set up the game.

"Why?" he asked somewhat absentmindedly as the James Bond game he had put in started. "Want to play?" he asked quickly.

I got up and got a controller, coming to sit back down as I explained my anxiety to him.

"Well then maybe you should talk to them about it," he suggested as we began lurking around, trying to find each other and the other robots. I sighed.

"Yeah, but I don't know. I don't want to lose them…"

"Whoever said you will?" Patrick asked me, at last finding me and killing me with one shot.

* * *

"I'm home!" I shouted the next day, though this time it was in a different setting.

"Hey Hayley!" Mr. Spickler said, as he walked by the front door, heading into his office. I grinned at him, kicking off my shoes and walking through to the family room. Melanie was spread out across the couch so I immediately went over and lay on top of her.

"Get off!" she grunted, rolling me onto the floor. I landed with a thunk, laughing.

"Good to see you too, Mel." She ruffled my hair but then motioned me out of the way so she could see the television.

"Hayley!" Jillian exclaimed, and I could hear her running down the stairs. A second later she appeared around the corner.

"Ew, what is that thing?" I said, wrinkling my nose. "Melanie, did you buy another stray?"

Jillian narrowed her eyes but flung her arms around me anyway. I hugged her back and then sent her to the kitchen to make us her infamous cookies.

"Where's Grace?" I asked Mel, taking a seat in the armchair next to the flat-screen.

I listened for a minute but all I heard was Mr. Spickler in his office typing and Jillian in the kitchen, banging around pots and pans.

"She went shopping with Mom. If you need anything, call her, they're at Target."

She sat up, swinging her legs around and onto the coffee table. "So what's new?" she asked me, surfing through the channels.

"Eh, not much. Waiting for something that will get me in shape for softball." I brought my feet up underneath me, leaning my head against the back of the chair.

She finally settled on a women's soccer game. "I may run through the winter, until conditioning starts. It's so far away, it needs to start now!"

"I know!" I said, sighing. "Why can't we have a year-round softball team? I mean really." Just then the door from the garage steps burst open.

"Hiya!" Mrs. Spickler said, walking in with an armful of groceries. Melanie and I jumped up to go help her before she told us to.

"Hey Hal," Grace said, walking in behind her carrying more bags. "There's more in the trunk," she told Mel, nodding back at the door. Mel sighed but went anyway.

"Get anything good?" I asked as I put the milk and soymilk in the fridge. Melanie was lactose-intolerant, but instead of complaining about it, she just turned herself vegan.

"Yes, actually we did!" Mrs. Spickler said, pulling out a large box of animal crackers from the last bag.

I grinned and took it from her. She knew it was our favorite snack. I took it over to the couch, plopping down with Grace, and started to pig out on them. Melanie joined us a minute later after oof-ing and groaning up the stairs.

We just hung out that night, pigging out on animal crackers and Kool-Aid, finally crawling down the stairs to the basement where we were going to sleep at one in the morning. We hadn't stayed up that late in a long time. As we were getting situated- Grace on the big couch, Melanie on the floor, me on the little couch-I finally had to ask.

"Am I hurting you?" I asked the silence. I knew they would understand what I was asking.

"I'm not sure," Melanie replied after a minute, her voice quiet. I heard her roll over and a minute later her breathing was deep and even. She fell asleep too fast. The silence dragged on and on, only interrupted by Melanie's breathing. When I was almost all the way under, I heard Grace speak. I think she thought I was already asleep, and maybe I was and it was only a dream. But it was so real.

"Yes," she whispered into the dark, so quiet I could barely hear her. "I think you are."

* * *

_I slept over at Carl's that night, so Hayley could sleepover. I waited until she called me and told me she was gone before going home, her voice, rough from sleep, filling my ear. My heartbeat picked up ever so slightly and I just wanted to see her._

"_Hey Max-y," Mom said, when I came in through the garage. I kicked off my shoes and dropped my bag at the bottom of the stairs._

"_Hi Mom," I said gruffly, yawning. "I'm going to go take a nap." She looked at me slightly disapprovingly but didn't say anything. I ascended the stairs slowly, my feet dragging, and was almost to my room when I passed Grace's bedroom door._

"_Max, can I talk to you?" she asked me, her voice slightly angry. I sighed and stopped in her doorway, leaning against the frame._

"_How can I help you?" I asked her, another yawn escaping. "Make it quick, I'm exhausted."_

_She narrowed her eyes at me but obliged._

"_Don't go out with my best friend anymore," she said and for a second it didn't sink in. And then suddenly I was wide-awake. "Because if you hurt her, that is going to be awkward. Or should I say when you-" I cut her off._

"_What do you mean if or when I hurt her. Who said I was ever going to hurt her?" I shot back, turning to head into my room._

"_Because you are Max, and you just will, so end it now before you truly hurt her. And I mean for Pete's sake, Max, she's my best friend. Do you really have to go out with her?"_

_I did not listen to any more, turning fully and walking into my room, slamming the door behind me. I fell onto my bed and tried to sleep but Grace's words echoed in my ears. _You just will, so end it now before you truly hurt her._ End it now._

_My heart began to thud unevenly as Hayley's face swam into my mind. She was smiling at me, so innocent and trusting. But didn't she know my history with girls? Seduce them, hook up with them, dump them, and repeat. I was not anywhere close to that with Hayley, but what if one day I was tempted and started the cycle again. What if I started it while I was still with Hayley? I could never hurt her that way, it would hurt me twice as much.

* * *

_

It was another Friday night and I was sitting on the couch in the family room with Max, watching some boring movie because there was nothing else on. The rest of the Spicklers had gone out to dinner, but Max had been at a show, only getting home twenty minutes ago, after picking me up from my own home.

"Want to go somewhere?" Max asked now, not even waiting for my response.

He took my hand and pulled me up, dragging me towards the front door. We slipped on our shoes and left, Max slamming the door behind him. I did not bother to ask where we were going. As long as I was with him, it did not really matter. We walked along silently, as dusk took over and the sun finished setting, painting a pretty picture in the sky. It was the first day of October, but an exceptionally warm one. The leaves had not even started to change yet.

When we got to the end of the street, Max turned us left, onto the dirt road that led to the small slurpee building that only a few people ever came to. He loosened his grip on my fingers, instead just looping his index around my pinky, kissing me on the side of the head. And then I saw them.

"Fireflies!" I exclaimed, pointing up to the little lights that flitted through the semi-darkness.

Max laughed, his eyes dancing, and let me go as I ran up ahead, trying to catch them. I danced around as I closed my hands again and again, thinking I had caught one. Glancing behind me I saw Max walking just as slowly as before some ten yards behind me, his smile evident even through the dark.

At last I caught one, and waited until Max had caught up to me. He stopped by my side and I held out my open hand. We both watched the lightning bug crawl over my fingers for a minute.

"Aren't you afraid it's going to fly away?" Max asked me softly, his eyes meeting mine.

"It deserves to be free," I said and Max's entire expression changed, his eyes becoming really soft but intense.

Suddenly he was reaching out and pulling me against him. I shook my hand, getting the firefly off before it was crushed between Max's chest and me. He kissed my head and then we pulled apart, his index looping back around my pinky until we reached the small white building.

"One blue raspberry slurpee and one cherry melon slurpee please," he said, letting go of my hand to pull out his wallet.

We took our slurpees around the side of the building, sitting on top of the picnic table and sipping them slowly. We sat there for a while just enjoying the cool breeze that blew through the warm night, as the stars shone bright in the sky. I turned to Max to find him watching me, and I leaned forward to kiss him.

"_Mmm," Hayley murmured against my lips. "I just love it when you have blue raspberry slurpees."_

_I laughed quietly and pulled her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her. She took one of my hands then, bringing it to hers and matching them up, looking at the size difference. Then she intertwined her fingers with mine, watching how mine automatically curled around hers. She then slid her fingers out of mine, tracing the lines on my palm before matching our hands up again, and then curling hers around mine once more. She repeated these actions again and again, as we sat there silently, both watching our hands react to each other._

"_Max?" she said suddenly, quietly. I remembered our three month had been a week before, passing without anyone but Hayley and I knowing: a quiet event._

"_Mm?" I murmured, pressing my lips to her hair and tightening my arm around her as she continued to play with my fingers._

"_I love you," she said softly, intertwining her fingers with mine again._

_My heart jumped wildly in my chest, pounding so hard she had to be able to hear it as, the butterflies flew into my stomach. We were quiet for a minute as those three words echoed through the darkness_

"_I love you too," I whispered back._


	10. Chapter 10

"_Hey you," I said softly as I met Hayley at her locker Monday afternoon._

_She smiled, and kissed me, but when she pulled back I got a good look at her face. She looked so tired, sad almost. But she still smiled at me, a sad smile. I pulled her into a hug, tucking her head under my chin._

"_Hi Maxipad," she said, smirking slightly. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me again for a long minute before pulling away. "I love you," she whispered against my lips._

"_I love you too," I said, kissing underneath her jaw. She tightened her arms around me just before we pulled apart._

"_Ready to go?" I asked her, taking her hand in mine. She nodded and we started walking down the hallway. _

_We talked about random things all the way home, from music to a test Hayley had to take tomorrow. And then, when we were about five minutes away from her house, I knew I needed to do it. Taking her hand in mine, I laid it on my thigh for a minute, turning to look at her. She was watching me, that same tired, sad smile on her face. And right then, I realized she knew what I was about to do._

"_Hayley, I talked to Grace," I began but before I could go on, she spoke._

"_I did too," she said quietly, turning to look out the window so I couldn't see her face._

"_I don't know if this is a good idea anymore," I said slowly, the words killing me, but I knew it had to be done. "I might hurt you, and –"_

"_You aren't hurting me, Max," she said, cutting me off. She turned to look at me, her eyes filled with regret. "I love you," she added, in a voice so quiet it was barely a whisper._

"_Maybe we should stop before we go too far, before I risk hurting you anymore. You know my history with girls…" I trailed off, resisted the automatic urge to say 'I love you, too'. My heart was aching inside of me. My throat was tight and dry. I wanted Hayley to say no, and fight me, fight _for_ me. But she did neither._

"_It wasn't right to go out with my best friends' brother anyway," she said, turning away again though not before I saw the tears pooled in her eyes._

"_It wasn't right to go out with my little sisters' best friend," I said, as we pulled into her driveway._

_I braked, right in front of her front door and just turned to look at her. She looked back at me, the saddest smile on her face, a smile that broke my heart. "Hayley, I'll-"_

"_No," she said, cutting me off as she opened the car door. "That will only make it harder."_

_She kissed my cheek quick before getting out and walking to her front door, unlocking it and going inside, never looking back._

_I had Grace call Hayley to see if she still wanted a ride to school. So the next morning I pulled into her driveway and waited silently as she got in the car. She said hi quietly to me, before turning to talk to Melanie. I tried to forget she had been anything more than my kid sisters' best friend as I drove the four of us to school, but it was hard. Whenever I would glance in the rear view mirror, my eyes would stray to her face and I immediately wanted to take it all back, to hug her and hold her and kiss her again. To make her laugh. But I could not, I could not risk hurting her like that._

_

* * *

_

I kept my eyes on Melanie the entire ride, and even after we got out of the van in the senior parking lot. I even kept them on her as she dashed to make the bus that would take her to her school. I did everything to keep myself from looking at Max, but I did slip once or twice.

"Later weenies," Max said at the front door, just like he used to before we-I stopped myself there, not finishing the thought. Maybe it would just be easier to forget that we had ever gone out, ever kissed, ever exchanged the three most important words in the English language. Grace sneered at his back as he walked away, before heading off to her own class.

I had figured that Max had told her about the break, as I still had not talked to her about it. Did not want to talk to her about it. If I could just pretend like everything was okay, then maybe it would be okay. She can't see that I am hurting because that would hurt her. And I couldn't do that to her. I also hid my hurt from Max, did not want him to see how bad I missed him. But it was hard. So hard.

As an attempt at normal, I met with Grace at the end of the day and walked with her to Max's van. Per usual, we sat on the bumper for ten minutes before he finally came ambling through the parking lot. We climbed into the van and he immediately turned on the radio full volume to a Guns n' Roses song. We tried to discuss the better band again, but my heart just wasn't in it, so the conversation dropped quickly.

I rode the bus for the rest of the week. In class, I listened to my teachers. In the halls, I walked with Will, somehow just drawn to him, needing his friendship more than ever. In band, I kept my eyes on the drum majors, playing when I was supposed to, never stopping to talk to Max, to listen to one of his sarcastic remarks or jokes. Every once in a while I could not help but slip up and look at him. He was always talking to either Carl or Taylor about something.

When Reynolds dismissed us I headed back into the school with Grace and Taylor. I saw Taylor glancing at me, worry peeking through her carefully composed expression. She knew about it. I did not know how, but she knew.

"So I was thinking about starting to run before basketball conditioning starts," Grace said now, breaking me out of my reverie.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. We could run together on the weekends," I replied, swinging my trombone loosely in my hands. Grace and Taylor had switched so Grace now struggled under the weight of the bass drum and Taylor rested happily for a moment, carrying Grace's horn.

"I want to come, I want to come!" Taylor said and I laughed, surprising myself. I saw Grace glance at me with a shocked smile.

"We'll be running at least two miles every time," Grace told her and Taylor's eyes widened.

"Never mind. I have things to do on the weekend, places to go, you know," Taylor said and we all laughed.

We reached the band room and walked through the open double doors. I put my trombone in its case, and turned around to go put it in my locker but immediately bumped into something solid.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," I said.

And then I looked up and saw Max looking down at me, his expression pained. My breath whooshed out of me.

"Sorry 'bout that," he said, and walked away.

My heart felt like it was being squeezed. Everything was different now. Before, if we had run into each other, he would have made a sarcastic comment. Now we were all excuse-me and yes-please. I wanted to scream, to just grab him and kiss him, to hit him even. Anything, _anything_ to show him and the world that I still cared.

I was just about to move again when I got that sharp pain in the side of my head. I groaned and pressed my hand against the area, but it did nothing and then the pain faded away. Damnit, I thought.

Getting the feeling that someone was watching me, I turned around to find Carl looking at me strangely. Spinning back around quickly, I shook my head, trying to forget about everything.

* * *

_It was hard walking through the halls now, without either having Hayley's hand in mine, or searching for her eyes in the masses. Now I just felt empty, naked. But I hid it, and I hid it well, not allowing anyone but myself to feel or see my pain. No one had even talked to me about it yet though, except for Carl, who just figured it out. Mom and Dad had not even said anything yet. They had to have figured it out by now, but I had not told them._

"_Max, buddy, how goes it?" Charlie asked me, walking up and slapping my back in the hall. We had not seen each other since the first day of school, all of us in the band being so caught up with schoolwork that we had no time to practice._

"_Getting by," I told him, winking. He laughed and walked on, not hearing the catch in my voice._

_As I was standing outside my classroom during passing time, Laurie Wilson walked up to me, grinning seductively. I had been attempting to hook up with her since that Monday with Hayley._

"_Hey," she said, winking._

_I threw my arm around her shoulders and bent down to kiss her neck. When I looked up again, Hayley was hurrying by me. My heart stopped and I felt myself gasp. Through a break in the crowd I saw her hand linked to someone else's. I followed the arm up to the body of Will. My eyes narrowed as I watched her for a second until she disappeared in the crowd, her head down, before I turned back to Laurie, forcing a grin._

_But Laurie had been watching me and when my eyes met hers she looked over my shoulder to where I knew Hayley was no longer visible._

"_Do you still have feelings for her?" she asked me quietly, her face now drawn. Her eyes slid to the floor as I paused and felt my heart squeeze._

"_Yes," I whispered.

* * *

_

_When the last bell rang I walked out to the parking lot and met Grace, driving her home in silence. The van just wasn't the same without Hayley, who had always grabbed a ride with us. The silence was deafening so I punched the radio knob and Sweet Child O' Mine immediately filled the car. I quickly turned the knob, trying not to think about Guns n' Roses, as that always reminded me of Hayley. I landed on the next station, but it was playing Faithfully, by Journey. I punched the knob in frustration and silence filled the car._

_Out of the corner of my eye I saw Grace glance at me but when I turned to look at her, she looked out the window. I sighed. Then Grace sighed. I glared at her for a minute but she stubbornly ignored me._

"_What the hell, Grace?" I said, anger taking over._

"_Calm down, Maxipad," she replied. I slammed on the brakes. Thankfully there were no cars around._

"_Do not," I said, biting off the words, "ever call me that again. Got it?" I glared at her, making sure she knew I meant it._

_She nodded, backing off, and I saw understanding and a little bit of fear in her eyes. When I glanced in the rearview mirror as I pressed the gas I saw my expression and scared myself. My eyebrows were knit together and my eyes were black, shining with anger, but I could see hurt hidden deep within them. I swallowed hard, but kept driving, though my hands shook on the wheel. I had to keep going, because if I stopped, I would never start again.

* * *

_

_In the middle of a crazy drum solo there was a knock on my bedroom door. I sighed, already knowing I was in trouble, but it was the only way to get all my feelings out without saying anything._

"_Come in," I mumbled._

_The door squeaked open and Melanie walked in. I just looked at her._

"_That sounded pretty cool," she said after a moment, sitting on my bed._

"_What do you want?" I asked her. My voice was toneless._

_She looked so vulnerable at that minute, her hair down and only wearing old, holey sweats. She looked like she did when she was five years old and I would chase her if she even came in my room. I felt my expression soften slightly._

"_I wish you hadn't broken up," was all she said, looking down at the floor._

_My breath got caught in my throat, being held back by my heart. We just sat there for a minute in silence and then Mel got up and hugged me, before leaving the room._

"_Shut the door," I managed to croak out as she sidestepped an extra-large pile of dirty laundry.

* * *

_

That Friday, Melanie had told me to come over and eat out of the ice cream carton while watching sad movies. She understood at least. So it was that at seven o'clock on Friday, Patrick dropped me off at the Spicklers'. He gave me a hug, telling me to call if I needed anything. I walked slowly up the steps, kicking off my shoes at the front door before opening it and stepping through.

"Hello?" I called, my voice bouncing around the high-ceiling foyer. "Anybody home?"

"Up!" Melanie shouted. I followed her voice up the stairs to her bedroom.

As I passed by the bathroom, the door opened. "Oh," Max said, letting out a breath. He smiled wryly. "Hi Hayley."

I wondered how he could do that, go on like we had not shared those three words. I nodded at him, forcing a small smile before continuing on to Melanie's room.

"I thought you said he wouldn't be home," I hissed, shutting her bedroom door.

"He's leaving in like, five minutes," she said apologetically. "You know how he is…" she trailed off, standing up to give me a hug before plopping back down on her bed.

"What're you doing?" I asked her, sitting down in the middle of the pile of blankets. She was sitting up at the top, where pillows normally were, a pile of string in front of her.

"Making friendship bracelets!" she exclaimed, smiling at me. I laughed and watched as she wove the strings into each other, a complicated design coming out.

"Where did you learn how to do this?" I asked her, fingering the string. It was five different colors, all mixed together to form a difficult-looking pattern. The string was soft though and there was a lot of it. I hoped there was enough for two bracelets.

"Camp," Mel replied after a moment. "My friend from Indiana had learned it from another camp and she taught our entire cabin. And don't worry, there is enough for two bracelets," she said, as if reading my thoughts.

"Good," I muttered, and she laughed.

"Don't worry, as soon as I finish this one we can go get ice cream and watch _the Notebook_ while I make the second one. What kind of ice cream do you want? We have strawberry, cookie dough, triple chocolate, caramel pecan, mint chocolate…" She trailed off, getting lost in the weaving for a minute.

"A mint chocolate shake actually sounds really good right now," I said after some thought. "Or maybe just triple chocolate right out of the carton," I added. Melanie laughed.

"You can have both you know," Grace said, walking into the room. I jumped, startled.

"Jeez, Grace, give us a little warning," Melanie said, tying off the bracelet. "There, all done. Now give me your wrist."

I held it out automatically and she tied the bracelet on, cutting off the extra string.

"It's gorgeous," I told her, holding my arm up and admiring the bracelet.

"I know!" Mel said, grinning. "Now let's go pig out on ice cream!"

"Oh, not me," Grace said, patting her stomach. "I just had a three course meal at Leah's house."

They were starting soccer pasta parties early this year and the first one had been tonight. I laughed, and slapped her stomach on the way out of the room.

"Not funny!" she said, following us down the stairs.

We grabbed spoons and cartons of ice cream - we even persuaded Grace to have some - and plopped in front of the television, watching the Notebook. When that was done, we moved on to the Pursuit of Happyness. After a third sad movie, and triple the tears, we all crawled up the stairs to bed.

I lay awake for a long time that night, before at last drifting off to sleep, only to be woken up by a door slamming at three in the morning. I sighed and rolled over, trying to ignore the fact that it was Max's steps I heard walking through the house.

* * *

_I was walking down the hall towards my room, trying to be quiet for once, when I heard a strange noise that I barely recognized. Realizing that it was coming from Grace's room I stopped outside the partly open door. I could see Grace lying in her bed, asleep, but then I heard the now recognizable noise. Someone was crying, and I knew immediately it was Hayley._

_As she tried to suppress a particularly gut-wrenching sob I immediately wanted to throw the door open and go hold her, hold her together. But at that moment Grace sat up, blinking groggily for a minute in the moonlight that pooled through her window, before crawling out of her bed and onto the spare mattress next to it. I adjusted myself quietly and could at last see Hayley sitting there, hands pressed to her face as Grace, the unfeeling one, wrapped her arms around her, making comforting noises. It was all I could do to turn around quietly and walk into my room, shutting the door softly behind me._

_Eventually, I heard the sobs subside and then I fell asleep, the moon shining brightly on the end of my bed.

* * *

_

"_Max!" Grace shouted, and a second later I heard her feet pounding up the stairs. I rolled over onto my stomach, pulling the sheets and pillow over my head. "Max!" Grace shouted again, throwing my door open._

"_What!" I said angrily, throwing the pillow off, in the direction of the door. It missed her by inches._

"_I don't care anymore!" she practically screamed, then lowered her voice to an almost whisper. "Go back to Hayley, ask her out again, go out with my best friend. I can't take this anymore!" she exclaimed, her voice raising and falling. "You guys are both miserable without each other, no matter how hard you try to hide it! You should have seen her sobbing last night, it was terrible!"_

"_That…that was for me?" My voice was barely even a whisper._

"_Yeah, dumb ass, that was all for you!"_

_She threw up her hands in frustration and stormed out of my room. I sighed, letting my head fall onto the pillow and allowing my body to relax into deadweight. This was too much to think about._

_After an hour or so, I rolled myself out of bed and headed down the stairs. Hayley was already gone, Grace informed me, exasperated. I just shrugged, going into the kitchen and piling a plate with the leftover chocolate pancakes Jillian always made when Hayley was here. I drenched them in syrup before plopping down on a barstool, shoveling them into my mouth. Glancing back at the television I saw Grace staring at me._

"_What do you want?" I asked her, narrowing my eyes. She looked away, not answering._

_I sighed, loudly, and got up to put my plate in the dishwasher. As I turned around my eyes again landed on Grace who was staring at me once more. I took one step towards her menacingly and she got up and ran into the den. It was going to be a long weekend._

_Grabbing my drumsticks off the counter on the way, I headed upstairs to my room and ended up messing around on my drum-set for a full hour._

"_Tom?" I asked, when someone picked up the phone._

"_Yeah, what's up?" I held the phone away from my ear as he spoke. Tom always yelled into the phone for some reason, deafening you if you held it too close to your ear._

"_Want to get everyone together for a practice in an hour?" I asked him, getting off of the drum stool._

"_If it's possible. I'll tell Charlie, you call Lex."_

_An hour later we were in Charlie's garage, going all-out practice mode. I had taken off my shirt a few minutes ago, only sitting there in shorts and my socks. We were all sweating as we put everything we had into each of the songs. We should have been exhausted by now but adrenaline was keeping us going. We had not done this in so long we could not stop now._

_But finally, Lex hit the last note and we all took deep breaths, collapsing on the couch and the floor. _

_After a few moments I got up the energy to get off the couch and go to the bathroom. As I closed the door behind me and headed up the stairs in the house I heard Lex say something in a soft voice. I stopped to listen for a minute but regretted it instantly._

"_I miss Hayley," he said softly, already thinking I was gone._

"_Me too," Tom said._

_I walked away then, trying to forget._

"_There's a show again in Barracaden Tuesday night," Lex said when I came back, getting up to get a water bottle of the mini-fridge. I sighed inwardly, swallowing over the small lump in my throat. "Ray wants us to come again," Lex went on, tossing us each a water bottle. Ray was the manager of the Cadet Cafe that we played at. "He said a lot of people called and wrote asking for us."_

"_That's kick-ass," Charlie said, chugging the bottle in ten seconds._

"_Let's do it," I said, standing up. "What time?"_

"_Nine," Lex said._

_I nodded and left, chucking my empty water bottle in the trash can on my way out. I climbed into the van, turning on the radio before whipping out of the driveway. Just as I was turning onto the main road, I recognized the song coming through the speakers. I was about to change the station when I changed my mind and sat back, allowing the words of Faithfully to soak into me as I drove.

* * *

_

_Monday and Tuesday went the same as the week before, with Hayley riding the bus to school and saying excuse me whenever we passed each other in a tight space. Each time she was near me it was all I could do to keep from reaching out and grabbing her, pulling her close to me, kissing her, anything._

_Tuesday night we played the show to roars of approval. Sweat dripped off our faces as we ran offstage. Ray asked us to come back in a week and play the next venue. We agreed._

_The rest of the week was a blur, and I was not really sure when one day ended and the next day started. Nothing was the same without Hayley to look forward to. It was as if we had always been together. It was difficult to imagine my life before her._

_To distract myself, I would pick up Miranda Cow and Laurie interchangeably, whenever the house was empty. They blended into each other, and though they were very different, in my dark room, it was hard to tell. I lost count of the number of times they pushed against my chest, checking to see that I had something._

_When the house was full, or Laurie and Miranda were unavailable, I would head over to Kevin's. We would sit in his basement watching mind-blowing television, smoke curling up and around the necks of our bottles, filling the room with a strange mix of smells. And though the smoke sometimes made me cough, and the alcohol burned on the way down, it took care of the pain, and for that reason I kept coming back to it._

_Once even, a Tuesday or Wednesday night, I called Hayley, unaware until I heard her voice on the other end. I had just finished off my fourth beer and put out the joint Kevin and I had been passing._

"_Hello?" Hayley asked, for I had somehow grabbed Kevin's phone. As soon as I heard her voice, however, I broke out into big blubbery sobs. I heard her gasp on the other end but I closed the phone in embarrassment. I had never before felt so pathetic.

* * *

_**What are you thinking? Talk to me, about any of it. -**_zoomie_**  
**


	11. Chapter 11

_Friday night I was in my room, no lights on, looking out the window at the stars that hung over the pond behind our house. That Wednesday night that I had called Hayley had been the last day I had been to Kevin's basement, or brought Miranda and Laurie back to my room. After the phone call, I had puked in the toilet before vowing to myself to get away from the drugs. I had seen Hayley the next day at school and for a moment our eyes had locked and I knew then that she had known it was me on the phone. _

_Back in my room, I glanced down to the trees, debating on whether or not to go lay in the hammock, when I caught a glimpse of something. My heartbeat picked up as I took a deep breath and raced down the stairs and out the back door. As I neared the two trees that held up the hammock I stopped and took a deep breath._

"_Hayley," I breathed softly, but she was already sitting up, turning around to face me._

"_Max," she replied hoarsely._

_I could hear the pain hidden in her voice as she stood up and took a step forward. Opening my mouth, I prepared to say lines I had been rehearsing for the past couple weeks. But at that moment, I was suddenly filled with anger._

"_Why didn't you fight me?" I exclaimed, the frustration and hurt bursting out of me. Shocked, Hayley took a step back. "Why didn't you fight _for_ me?"_

"_What was I supposed to say, Max?" Hayley said loudly. "I love you? Obviously it wasn't enough as you ended it anyway!"_

"_You could have said no! That you didn't care about anything but being with me. It takes two to make a relationship, Hayley! You could have screamed at me for all I cared, just to know that you _did_ still care."_

"_At least I wasn't sitting in some basement somewhere getting completely wasted instead of dealing with my problems!" she shot back._

_I heard myself gasp and then we both fell silent as the angry words hung heavy between us in the night air._

"_Love wasn't enough," she said quietly, turning away from me._

"_Hayley," I breathed. "Love was always enough."_

_I took a step forward, reaching out for her, but she backed up._

"_Hayley, couldn't you see? I ended it because I loved you, still love you. How could I risk hurting you when I went for someone else? If it hurt you, it hurt me twice that."_

"_Dammit Max," she said, at a loss, turning to face me. Her eyes stayed trained on the ground but she uncrossed her arms and let them fall to her sides._

"_Hayley, baby, I love you," I whispered, as my heart squeezed so hard it hurt._

_And before I knew what I was doing, before I could control myself, I had closed the gap and wrapped my arms tight around her. I would never let her go again, ever. When I pulled back, my arms tightening around Hayley's waist, I felt the soaked sleeve of my t-shirt. With one hand, I reached up and wiped her cheeks._

"_I love you too," she said softly, burying her face in my chest.

* * *

_

I fell asleep on the couch that night and when I woke up, the clock on the nightstand saying two A.M., I found myself in a bed I did not recognize. However, the arms around me were familiar and I realized it was Max's room, when I caught a glimpse of his drum set. I put my arms around his arms, sinking back into him, and fell back asleep, listening to his heartbeat.

When I woke up again at a normal hour, noon, I was still in Max's bed, but he was gone. Yawning, I kicked the covers off and rolled out, landing on my feet. I stretched my arms above my head as I headed down the stairs, the smell of Jillian's banana and chocolate chip pancakes meeting me as I hit the landing. Running a hand through my hair, I rounded the corner into the kitchen and stopped abruptly when I saw Max sitting at the table, big headphones on, his profile to me. I watched as he took a huge bite of the pancakes on the plate in front of him and then picked his drumsticks off the table and began playing the small drum pad that he had sitting in his lap. He looked so vulnerable at that moment, unaware of anyone or anything but his music, his shorts thrown on sloppily, no shirt, his eyes intense as he listened to the music and played out the beat on his lap. My heart beat a little harder just looking at him.

Suddenly he turned his head and met my eyes. I smiled softly, tilting my head a little, and he slid his headphones off, walking slowly over to meet me. He put his hands on my hips, pulling them to his. I rested my hands on his arms.

"Hi," he whispered, touching his forehead to mine. I kissed him and he immediately enveloped me in a huge bear hug, pressing my face to his chest. "Oh, I missed you," he murmured into my hair. In answer, I simply tightened my arms around him.

After he let go of me I headed over to the stove and got myself some pancakes off of the now-cooling pan before taking a seat at the kitchen table right next to Max. We sat half facing each other, our knees touching, as I ate and he talked about random things like how the band was and how he had found a random interest in Frisbee the other day. I just watched him as he talked, smiling when he smiled, laughing when he laughed. He looked so alive that morning as we sat there that I did my best to imprint his face into my mind.

* * *

"There's my little lovesick puppy!" Melanie said as I walked into Carly's backyard. Grace, Carly, and her were spread out on the grass, a boom box in the middle of them. I grinned and plopped down in the space they made for me, between Carly and Grace. Grace, who glanced at me with narrowed eyes but couldn't hide the twinkle in them for the life of her. I ruffled her hair, dodging her punch and turning up the volume on the boom box.

Singing quietly, I flipped over onto my back and gazed at the leaves that were now turning orange on the trees. They clashed brilliantly with the bright blue sky. I breathed in deeply, smelling the freshly cut grass and the general scent of autumn. Halloween was coming up in a few weeks, I remembered suddenly.

"So what are you being this year?" I asked the sky. Someone turned the music down.

"We should all be superheroes," Melanie said, giggling.

"Yeah!" Carly and I seconded. I grinned, flipping over onto my stomach, and they did the same. Grace turned over slowly, faking a pout.

"I was going to be a pirate," she said, making puppy dog eyes at the three of us.

"Aye aye, sir!" Carly exclaimed, saluting. "You be a pirate, and I want to be Alice in Wonderland." I laughed and she slapped my arm.

"No," I said, trying to bite back my smile. "It's cute. Really. And Mel and I can be World's Worst Superheroes. I am Really Really Really Ridiculously Good-looking Man." I stretched my arms out like Superman.

"And I," declared Melanie, going up on one knee. "Am Very Super Duper Geeky Sunshine Man." We all busted up, gripping our stomachs until tears streamed down our faces. I sat up, wiping my eyes with the backs of my hands as tears still streamed relentlessly.

"Okay, gay-wad," Grace said, taking a deep breath while wiping her own eyes.

Carly was still rolling around on the grass laughing which sent us all into another two minutes of laughter. At last we all calmed down and just laid there, staring at the late afternoon sky.

"Is anyone hungry?" Grace finally asked, putting her arms behind her head. In answer, four stomachs growled loudly. "I take that as a yes. The Jug, anyone? Anyone? Bueller?"

We all busted up a third time, but quickly controlled it this time around and got up, starting off down the road in the direction of the Jug. We always walked there, though we never walked home, as it was always dark. The walk usually took us fifteen minutes plus the experience of almost getting run over as we ran across the busy intersection.

"Oh my gosh, I swear that car was about to just gun it and go!" Melanie exclaimed now as we stepped breathlessly back onto the sidewalk. We all turned and watched as the Escalade floored it and raced away from the light.

"Stupid people," Carly mumbled, leading us the rest of the way. "We should get rid of all the stupid people in the world," she added as we walked through the door into the blasting air condition.

"Bye Grace!" I said cheerfully.

She turned around and smacked my arm as Melanie and Carly laughed. I punched her shoulder back and she was about to hit me again when a hostess walked up.

"Four?" she asked simply. We nodded and she led the way to a table at the back of the restaurant.

We talked the rest of the night away at that table, always about the most random of things. We were just settling in our seats after splitting the House Sundae when I saw a familiar brown head walking out of the door.

"Will," I called, as we were one of the last people left in the Jug.

He turned his head, stopping halfway through the door, and then a grin spread across his face as his eyes landed on me.

"Hey," he called, waving. "I really have to go, but text!"

I nodded, waving back, and then he was gone.

"Speaking of texting…" Grace said, snagging Melanie's phone out of her hand.

We all looked at her until she blushed as red as the table cloth.

"Gimme my phone!" she exclaimed, but Grace held it out of her reach.

"Let's see…" Grace said, scrolling through the text messages. "Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex, Carly, Alex, Hayley, Alex, Alex…"

We all looked at Melanie, grinning, as she hid her face in her hands. Smiling like she had just won a bet, Grace slid the phone back across the table to Mel who grabbed it and shoved it in her pocket.

"What's going on, Mel?" Carly asked, sipping her water.

"I like Alex," she mumbled into her hands.

"And?" Grace prompted like she knew something we did not.

"He likes me," Melanie added, slowly raising her face.

Carly and I squealed, high-fiving each other.

"He hasn't asked you out yet?" I exclaimed.

"No, but I think he is going to when I see him tomorrow," Mel admitted.

"Aw, that's adorable!" Carly said, getting up and hugging Melanie.

"You can go on double dates with me and Max!" I said, laughing as everyone paused and looked at me like I had grown a third eye.

"Joking…" I said, still laughing as I led the way out of the Jug.

* * *

"_Okay, Max. Are you ready?"_

_Hayley gripped my hands in hers, staring intently at my face, her eyes catching every expression, every small twinge. I took a deep breath and nodded._

"_Now go," she said to me, standing on her tiptoes to kiss me before pulling back and turning me around._

_She gave me a gentle push and I stepped into the hallway and began walking towards the stairs. When I got to the first step I turned around and looked at her and she smiled reassuringly._

"_Are you sure about this?" I asked her quietly, my voice still bouncing down the hall to her ears._

_She nodded and waved her hand at me, encouraging me. I took another deep breath before continuing down the stairs, walking slowly around the corner and into the kitchen where Mom and Dad sat drinking glasses of wine. I stood at the head of the table until they finished whatever discussion they had been having._

"_Yes Max?" Mom asked me, taking a sip of the purple-y liquid. I glanced at Dad and saw him watching me expectantly._

"_Can I talk to you guys?" I asked them and saw worry pass over their faces. The last time I had asked to talk to them it was about Hayley. I wondered what they thought this time._

"_Where's Hayley?" Dad asked me, setting down his glass as I sat down._

"_She's upstairs," I said, leaning my elbows on the place mat. "But this isn't about her."_

"_It's not?" Mom asked me, surprised, also setting down her wineglass._

"_No. It's about me. I'm going to join the Army," I blurted before I could chicken out. Both their eyes widened and then Dad smiled slightly, as if he was fast getting used to the idea._

"_Well, Max, that's great!" he exclaimed. "What brought this on?" His eyes sparked as my hand automatically reached up to the dog tag._

"_Well, I've been thinking about it for a while now," I said, fingering the cool piece of metal. "Because of granddad. I want to do something worthwhile."_

"_But what about your music?" Mom asked me, recovering, though she had never fully supported my music to begin with. "Didn't you want to go to Chicago?" She picked up her wineglass and took a long sip._

"_Yes. If the Army doesn't work out, that's where I'll end up," I replied._

"_Well. That is a wonderful idea if you can go through with it," Mom said finally while Dad continued to sit there and grin._

"_I can," I said confidently, defensively._

_I released a breath I didn't know I'd been holding, the weight of the world immediately off my shoulders. I was so glad Hayley had pushed me to do this. I started to get up, pushing in my chair._

"_Why are you just telling us this now, then?" Dad asked me, as I was about to walk away. I paused, looking out the window before back at them._

"_I didn't think you'd believe in me," I told them, kissing them both on the cheek before going back upstairs._

_As soon as I pushed open my bedroom door, Hayley flew off my bed, where she had been sitting cross-legged, eagerly waiting. She threw her arms around me, burying her face in my neck as my arms slid around her waist._

"_I knew you could do it," she murmured._

"_Thank you," I whispered into her ear.

* * *

_

_The pavement was cool and rough as we walked across it to the soccer field at the elementary school, our shoes dangling from our fingertips. I wound my index finger around Hayley's pinky and let her lead the way, her red hair swinging slightly, her eyes dancing in the moonlight._

"_Which birthday was your favorite?" she asked, turning back to look at me._

_Though she was not smiling, I could see it in her eyes. The life that came out of her was contagious and I felt myself grin at her before answering._

"_My fourteenth," I told her, dropping my shoes at the edge of the field right next to her beat up high-tops. She had her favorite purple socks stuffed into them. "That was the year I got my very first drum set. I stayed in the family room and played it for the rest of the night."_

_We plopped down in the middle of the field, spreading out on our backs, and stared at the stars. Hayley's palm was warm against mine as she tangled our fingers together, scooting closer to me._

"_What's the one thing you want to do before you die?" I asked her softly, not wanting to disturb the peaceful night._

_I wrapped my arms around her, switching her hand to my other hand, and buried my face in her hair. It smelled like fresh laundry and her shampoo._

_She tightened up suddenly, going tense in my arms, her fingers gripping mine like her life depended on it. I sat up quickly, bringing her with me. Still holding on to her tightly, I pulled my head back and looked at her. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she brought her other hand up to her head, holding it there firmly._

"_Hayley?" I asked, and my voice sounded panicked. A few seconds later she relaxed, lowering her hand and opening her eyes. "Hayley, what's wrong?" She pulled her eyes away from the grass and looked at me, the fear obvious in her eyes._

"_I'm…I'm not sure," she said, and then suddenly the fear was gone, as if she mentally shook herself. "Nothing. I'm fine," she corrected herself, smiling weakly, and pulling me back down on the ground. "Now what was your question?"_

_I did not answer at first, just watching her carefully, feeling her body slowly relax in my arms as she sank back into my chest. I absentmindedly rubbed my thumb inside her palm while she looked at me expectantly._

"_What's the one thing you want to do before you die?" I repeated carefully, as my neck began to ache from the weird angle that I had it at so I could watch her. I told myself to relax, allowing my head drop down onto the grass next to Hayley's. She thought for a minute and I went back to looking for the Big Dipper though I was even more aware of her, if that was possible._

"_Before I die…" she paused, thinking some more. "I want to go on a road trip."_

"_You've never been on one, Hal?" I exclaimed. " I'll make sure you do before you die then, alright?" I told her, smiling to the stars. She laughed, squeezing my hand._

"_Promise?" she asked me, her giggling echoing through the night air. "You promise I'll go on a road trip before I die?"_

_I glanced down and met her eyes. They were twinkling and full of mischief._

"_I promise," I told her.

* * *

_

"Mom," I called, walking slowly up the stairs to the kitchen, one hand clutching the side of my head. I rounded the corner to find her standing by the window over the sink, staring at the orange-leafed trees. She turned her head when the floor creaked beneath my feet.

"Aw, hun, is it hurting you again?" she asked me, coming over and placing her hand gently over mine. I nodded, sinking into her, and just waited for the pain to fade away like it always did. It took longer than usual.

"I think we'll have to get you in to see the doctor," she said, pulling away from me and getting a glass of water.

"Who's going to see the doctor?" Patrick asked, coming downstairs from his bedroom. Then he saw me, with one hand clutched to my head, the other reaching out to take the glass of water.

"Aw, jeez, Hal. You okay? Of course you're not, stupid question. Mom, maybe she should get a CT."

Mom nodded in agreement, already dialing the phone. I headed into the family room, plopping down on the couch as Mom's muffled voice floated through the room as she made arrangements at the hospital.

The next day I was woken up at eight o'clock. I crawled out of bed, threw on some clothes, and headed to the hospital with Mom. We sat in the waiting room of the radiology unit for thirty minutes before I was finally taken back to the catscan machine, leaving Mom behind me in the waiting room.

I lay still on the table as it moved my head back into the machine. For twenty minutes I lay there, still as a statue, and listened to the beeps of the machine as it took pictures of my head. At last the nurse came in and walked me back to the waiting room.

"How long until we know the results?" Mom asked the nurse, standing up and clutching her purse until her knuckles turned white. I placed my hand gently on her arm and she relaxed slightly.

"A few days," the nurse replied, though there was something off about the way she smiled.


	12. Chapter 12

"Mom," I said slowly, quietly. We had just left the hospital. It was only a day after the CT scan. "Can I just go to Spicklers' please?" I glanced over at her and saw her sad eyes peering back at me.

Ten minutes later we were sitting in their driveway. We were both quiet before I finally moved to open the door.

"I love you, Hayley," she said meaningfully.

"I love you too, Mom," I said, trying to hold back the tears.

As soon as she left, I walked in the door. Everybody was in the family room, watching some television special. Mr. and Mrs. Spickler sat on the couch with Carly and Melanie squished between them. Grace and Jillian sat on the floor in front of them, cross-legged. Max sat on a barstool behind them all, finishing off a box of Cocoa Puffs. My heart flipped in my chest just like it always did when I saw him.

"Hayley? What's wrong?" Mrs. Spickler asked, the first to notice me. At her question, everyone turned at once to look at me.

I dropped my eyes, unable to meet any of their gazes anymore. "Uh…I'm dying?" I blurted, and it came out like a question, echoing too loudly around the room.

Suddenly gaining the courage, I looked up to meet their gazes. Mrs. Spickler had gasped and now looked at me horror-stricken, her hand over her mouth. Mr. Spickler had his hand over his eyes. Melanie and Carly already had tears streaming down their cheeks, while I could see tears pooling in Grace's eyes. Jillian just looked downright disbelieving. Again, I avoided Max's gaze, afraid of what I would find there when I did.

Then, one by one, they got up and left. First Mr. and Mrs. Spickler, who patted my shoulder before I heard them go up and shut the door to their bedroom. Then Jillian got up and came over to hug me before going out the back door and down to the backyard. Grace, ever the unfeeling one, pulled herself up slowly before coming to hug me for a good five minutes. When she left to go up to her room, Melanie and Carly got up and came over. The three of us held each other in a hug, though while they sobbed, I did not. After a long time, they left; Carly down to the backyard with Jillian, and Melanie up to join Grace. When I heard the bedroom door shut, I slowly looked up at Max.

He was not looking at me, though he motioned me towards him. I stood up, walking over to him where he sat on the stool. After a minute he looked up at me, his expression so agonized it hurt my heart to meet his gaze. Then Max opened his arms and I walked into his embrace, burying my face in his chest as the tears began.

I do not know how long we stood there, Max's sobs wracking both of our bodies, but we eventually ended up on the couch, tears still streaming down both our faces. After a while, the rest of the family joined us, squishing onto the couch with us, or sitting on the floor in front of us. We all gazed at the television set though I was not sure if anyone was really watching it.

When the sky outside darkened, the adults stood up, mumbled something unintelligible, and left for a business dinner, their headlights flashing across the wall as they pulled out of the driveway. Jillian also got up and left, saying something about going to the neighbors. Pretty soon, Grace was walking out the front door as well, her ride to a soccer party, one that she had been so excited about just a few hours ago, waiting in the street.

Carly and Melanie stood up then and looked down at Max and I.

"We'll be in the backyard," Melanie said quietly, though I was unaware that they had left until Max had stood up, bringing me with him.

"Max?" I asked gently, unsure. He turned to look at me, his eyes betraying him.

"I can't-," he stopped and cleared his throat before starting again. "I have to…I have to get out. I can't…I just have to go."

I nodded and he kissed me, hard, before rushing out the front door. As he stepped outside, he paused and turned around to look at me.

"You look beautiful," he said, in a voice that broke my heart.

* * *

_I barely made it to the beach before I was on all fours in the sand, the sobs shaking my body all over again. I had not wanted Hayley to see me like this, unraveling at the seams. How could she be…I trailed off, not even able to finish the sentence as another sob ripped through the silence of the night. I had never felt so alone, so broken._

"_No, God no! Please God, no," I screamed into the darkness. "Not Hayley. God, anyone but Hayley."_

_I sobbed until my throat was raw, though the tears continued to run, seemingly endless, for another half-hour. When I had control once more, I stood up slowly, fighting my way through the dark back to the van. As soon as I got in I called._

"_Max?" Kevin's voice crackled over my phone. The reception had always been bad at the lake._

"_Kevin," I breathed hoarsely._

_I heard his breath whoosh out when he heard my voice. "Come in through the basement," he said.

* * *

_

_Kevin was in the middle of finishing off the second box of pizza and second two-liter bottle of Cherry Coke when I sat up suddenly. For the past hour I had been spread out across the couch, absolutely numb, while Kevin ate and sat there with me, knowing not to say anything. He glanced over at me now though, slightly alarmed._

"_Why did I run away?" I asked, half to myself, half to Kevin. "She's…got limited time…and I'm running away from her when I should be with her. _Shit_."_

_Kevin stopped with the bottle of Coke halfway to his mouth and looked at me. I just looked back at him._

"_Well?" he said at last, taking a swig before finishing off his slice of pizza. "Are you going to go back to her or not?"_

_I found her sitting on the hammock, her eyes half closed as she stared up at the stars. I could see my family through the large window in the family room, sitting solemnly on the couch watching television. As I watched, I saw Grace and Jillian laugh and then they both suddenly stopped, as if it was wrong. And maybe it was. I was not sure yet._

"_Is there room for me on this thing?" I asked gently, walking up next to her. She scooted over and I immediately slid onto the hammock, pulling her against me. She lifted her head and I kissed her, so gently._

"_Max?" she whispered, placing her head back on my chest. "Don't treat me any different, okay? I'm still me, I'm still Hayley. Let's just make the best of it."_

"_Oh Hayley," I breathed._

_She held me, swinging us back and forth as I cried, quietly this time. Everyone once in a while she would lift her head back up and kiss underneath my jaw, always just where a tear had fallen._

"_I love you," I told her, as I felt her body relax and her breathing become even._

_I tightened my arms around her as she slept, holding her for another hour or two, I was not sure. I just knew that the only thing that mattered was the fact that I was with her. It was enough and I knew then that I would do everything in my power to be with her as much as possible from now until the end._

_At last, when the moon was directly over our heads, I gently shook her and woke her up. She looked up at me, smiling groggily. I failed at a smile back, kissing her forehead._

"_Did I fall asleep?" she asked me, her voice rough, making her even cuter. I kissed her hair._

"_Yes," I replied, watching as she blushed sheepishly. "Ready to go inside?"_

_She nodded and I gently lifted her off of me, taking her hand and leading her across the grass and up the back steps._

_The house was dark as I let us in, locking the door behind me, before leading her up the stairs. Once in my room I gave her a pair of my smallest shorts and a t-shirt. I rolled over onto my stomach, burying my face in my pillow as she changed quickly. It was like fifth grade all over again._

_At last, I felt the bed move and she was suddenly snuggled up against my side, I turned my head and looked at her. She already had her eyes closed, her face pressed against my sleeve, the rest of her body curled into my side. I kissed her, first on the forehead, then on the lips._

"_Goodnight," I whispered._

_She smiled in her sleep and I reached over to turn off the bedside lamp.

* * *

_

"They're so cute, look at them!" I heard someone whisper, though it seemed too loud to be a whisper.

"Gag me!" I heard another voice, even louder.

"Sh!" I heard a smacking noise. "They are too, and you know it, Grace!"

A-ha, I thought with a smile. I am dreaming about Melanie and Grace. They continued to argue for a minute, something about some cute people, and then I heard the floor creak as they walked away.

Slowly, I opened my eyes, only to find a door I recognized but could not place, half open. And then I felt the arms around me. I sighed contently, wriggling around until I could wrap my arms around Max's middle. He opened his eyes halfway and looked at me, smiling, before closing them again. I snuggled closer to him, if that was possible, and closed my eyes. I breathed in his scent, soap and sleep, trying to remember it for the rest of my life.

I choked, remembering the day before and buried my face in Max's chest. It was like a nightmare, it had to be, how could I be…dying? I was only fifteen years old! And then I remembered something else.

Max's birthday was coming up in just a few days, the day before Halloween. I mentally slapped myself on the forehead and then winced as the sharp pain greeted me once more. This time however, I kept my arms around Max, squeezing my eyes shut tight against his chest until the pain at last subsided.

"Hayley?" Max's voice, rough from sleep, rumbled through his chest, echoing in my ear. I lifted my head and looked at him. His eyes were wide open. "You just put me in a death grip, are you okay?" His eyes were filled with concern and then it was like a light bulb went off in his head as he remembered also.

"My God, Hayley, are you okay?" he asked again, his voice now full of a slightly different meaning.

I nodded and immediately loosened my grip around his middle, instead resting my hand on his chest and raising the other up to run it through his short hair.

"Sorry," I said, shrugging.

I kissed him underneath the jaw before trying to move away and off the bed, but he pulled me back to him. He was not about to let me tease him, instead kissing me full on the mouth.

"I love you," he whispered, taking my fingers in his as we walked downstairs and into the kitchen where a fresh batch of Jillian's Chocolate Chip Banana Pancakes sat on the table. I glanced around the room and finally spotted her through the doorway that was in the den. She glanced up from the computer and I smiled and nodded at her. She nodded back at me before returning her eyes to whatever she had been doing.

* * *

In some strange act of politeness, the Spicklers decided to take me out to dinner together as a family. So that is where I found myself the next night; sitting in between Max and Melanie with Grace and Jillian across from me and the parents on the end. Thinking about my second family reminded me of my real family.

_After I had come home from breakfast at the Spicklers', Patrick, Mom, and Dad had been waiting for me, solemnly watching television. I hugged Mom first, whispering a 'thanks' in her ear for letting me go to the Spicklers. Then Dad stood up and gave me a long bear hug. He kissed my cheek and then he and Mom went up to their room._

_Patrick stayed on the couch, staring at the television set. I plopped down next to him, so I was almost sitting on top of him. Out of the corner of my eye I could see he still was not looking at me so I turned my head and stared him down until he at last glanced over._

"_This doesn't change anything," I said when his eyes met mine. _

_He snorted. "It changes everything, Hal," he said softly. "Absolutely everything."_

"_I still have a couple months, just treat me the same, okay? I can't take it if my own brother acts like I'm some sort of leper. Still love me and tease me and beat me up?" I asked him, resting my head on his shoulder._

_It took him a while to answer. While he thought I listened to our breathing; his long and deep, mine somewhat shorter and choppier._

"_Okay," he said and I lifted my head to look at him._

"_Promise?" I held out my pinky._

"_Promise," he said, wrapping his pinky around mine._

"Hayley?" Max asked, bringing me back to reality. I shook my head and turned to look at him. He smirked. "You with us?"

I nodded, smiling back.

"What's going on?" I asked, glancing back at my menu. My stomach rumbled. "Has the waitress come yet?"

And then I looked up and saw her standing behind Mr. Spickler, and I immediately knew she had already taken everyone else's order. I felt my face heat up.

"Uh, just make it two of whatever he ordered," I told her, jerking my finger at Max. She nodded, scribbled something, and walked away.

"My bad," I whispered.

The Spicklers laughed and Max kissed my cheek. I glanced at Grace, out of instinct, but she was laughing at something Jillian had just said. Mr. and Mrs. Spickler were talking across the table to one another and Max was busy making a football out of the piece of paper that they put around the napkins so him and Jillian could play.

I turned and looked at Melanie and she tore her eyes away from the television to look at me. I glanced at it quick and saw some baseball game.

"Who's winning?" I asked her. She scooted her chair closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Tampa Bay, somehow," she said. "The Sox will come back though, they always do."

The Red Sox were her favorite team though she had only been born in Boston and then moved away at the age of one. I smiled and put my arm around her.

"You okay?" I asked her, allowing my cheek to rest on the top of her head. I felt Max intertwine his fingers into my other hand, holding it on his lap.

"Well, are you okay?" Melanie replied as I glanced over at Max, smiling.

He looked at me, his eyes intense, before letting go of my hand to play football with Jillian across the table while Grace complained.

"Yeah," I said softly, so only Melanie heard. "For right now, I'm okay."

"Then I am too," she said.

My throat tightened then and I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom so I would not lose it at the table. Once in the empty, sterile room, I placed my hands on either side of the sink and stared at my reflection in the mirror. There was no way I deserved the friends that I had received over the past couple years. And now my stupid brain had to get a tumor so they all suffered when I should be the only one suffering.

"_There's no cure?" Mrs. Spickler had asked when they had gotten back from their dinner on the night I had told them all. Max still was not home at that moment and I still did not know where he had gone._

"_No," I had said, shaking my head as fresh tears streamed down Melanie's cheeks. Grace was still at her party and Jillian was with Carly in the kitchen, baking her special occasion snickerdoodles._

"_Well there is Chemotherapy," I had corrected myself and I saw Mr. Spickler's eyes widen in hope. I hated to crush that, but it was necessary. "But they said that my disease was so rare, it would probably just…kill me faster…"_

_I had told them all this softly and Mrs. Spickler had assured me she would tell Max. I was grateful for that, as I had not been sure that we would have handled it together if I had told him._

"Hal, you okay?"

It was Grace and my eyes focused on hers in the mirror. Turning around, I saw her standing by the door, wringing her hands. I nodded, smiling wryly, and in a very unlike Grace fashion, she walked up and gave me a hug.

"You sure?" she asked again, opening the door for me.

"I'm sure," I said, leading the way back to the table.

We sat back down and I gave Grace a reassuring look before listening to Melanie as she told me about some funny incident with our waitress and another customer that had occurred while I had been in the bathroom. When she was finished we were both laughing, tears pooling in our eyes though it was not enough to make them fall.

"Oh Mel, you're too amazing," I said, grinning.

We laughed some more and then Mr. Spickler told us a funny story from his office that day. Between him and Jillian and the events in the restaurant, our table was laughing the entire night and I almost forgot about my head at one point. But then I would get a quick pain in my head, as if to remind me that I would not be around forever.

* * *

"_One blue raspberry slurpee and one cherry melon please," Hayley told the girl behind the counter._

_When we had first walked up I had thought she was hot, that much was obvious, with her dark hair and tanned skin, but then I looked over at Hayley. Her red hair was pulled up in a sloppy ponytail and her eyes were shining with the life she still had. She looked beautiful._

_But Hayley was not the obvious beautiful, where you look at her and are immediately knocked out. She had this simple-ness about her, like with the sloppy ponytail, and barely any make-up. She was beautiful when she was smiling, or when she was upset. Her eyes lit up at the smallest things, and I continuously lost myself in them. _

_I kissed her on the temple as the girl made our slurpees and then led Hayley around to the picnic table we had sat on months before. I sighed contentedly and took a sip, scooting across the table so my back was against the building, my legs spread out in front of me. Hayley sat next to me, tangling her legs in mine and resting her head against my shoulder. _

_When I had finished half of my drink I turned my head and looked at her, and she lifted her eyes to mine. I just smiled and bent down to kiss her. She laughed against my lips._

"_Man, do I love blue raspberry slurpees," Hayley murmured and I laughed too, kissing her cheek before putting my arm around her. She sank into my side, taking another sip of her own slurpee._

"_You going trick or treating this year?" I asked her, smiling. The light on the side of the building hummed and a gentle wind ruffled the leaves on the trees._

"_Of course!" Hayley answered. "Free candy? Why wouldn't I go?" She looked up at me and winked._

"_Just asking! What're you going to be?" _

_My cup began to make the sucking sound as I reached the bottom so I set it to the side._

"_Mel and I are going to be World's Worst Superheroes," she said, and I saw her lips turn up in a smile. "I'm Really Really Really Ridiculously Good-looking Man."_

_I laughed out loud, and squeezed her shoulders. She laughed with me, curling her knees up to her chest and wrapping an arm around my waist. We sat silently for a moment, our chests rising and falling in unison as we breathed._

"_So, I was thinking…" Hayley started, keeping her eyes straight ahead. "About your birthday-" I cut her off with a groan._

"_What?" she asked innocently, sitting up and turning back to look at me. I slid off the table, grabbing her hand as I did so. She followed behind me as I led us back down the path towards home._

"_Don't do anything, alright?" I told her. She did not answer right away so I looked back and met her wide, too-innocent eyes. "I mean it, Hal. Nothing. No surprise parties, no parties in general, no gifts, no nothing." _

_She continued to look at me all angelic-like so I stopped and just kissed her. I felt her smile against my lips as her arms looped around my neck. She kissed underneath my jaw, sending shivers down my spine to my toes, before pulling back and twisting her pinky around mine._

_We walked back home slowly, trying to prolong it but we were at last there, standing next to the van. I backed Hayley up against it, putting my hands on the cool metal on either side of her head and kissed her. She pulled her hips to mine until I broke away a few minutes later._

_Quickly, I glanced around, kicking myself mentally because I had forgotten to check if any of my family was home. Thankfully, I saw an empty driveway._

"_Alright, cutie, let's get you home," I told her, climbing in the driver's side._

_As soon as she was in the passenger seat I peeled out of the driveway and down the road. Hayley immediately turned up the radio, drumming the beat out on her lap. I drummed my thumbs on the steering wheel and we both sang along as I swung onto the main road._

_As we were nearing her neighborhood I saw her tense up out of the corner of my eye and squeezed her hand, rubbing soothing circles on her palm. She relaxed slightly and I saw her other hand drop from her head. When I whipped into her driveway, she leaned over and kissed me for a long minute before jumping out and coming around to my open window._

"_I love you," she said. I kissed her forehead._

"_I love you too."

* * *

_**If your name is pixidancer22, thank you for staying with me for so long. It means the world. If your name is not pixidancer22 and you are reading this, TALK TO ME. Let me know what's going on inside your head when you read! Give me every last thought, from a sloppily written paragraph to an urge to throw a pillow at something. Let me know it all. -**_Zoomie_**  
**


	13. Chapter 13

"_All right, and remember Maxipad, you aren't allowed to hit girls," Hayley said, pushing the front door open. _

_She led me inside my own house, kicking off her shoes on the way. I did not bother to question her, instead just taking over the lead into the kitchen to make us some popcorn._

"_SURPRISE!" _

_I hate to admit it, but I screamed. When I turned to glare at Hayley I could not find her. At last I laughed, shook my head, and turned around to my friends, grinning._

_Everyone was there in the family room, standing behind the couch and armchairs-Charlie, Tom, Lex, Kevin, Alfonso, Stacy, Josie, even Shannon, who just smirked when she saw me. I rarely saw Stacy and Josie but they were in a few classes and were still friends since freshmen year all the same._

"_Hey guys," I said, feeling my face heat up as I scratched the back of my neck. _

_And then music came on and I turned to the source to find Hayley standing in the den, smiling, next to the stereo. I just shook my head at her, grinned, and turned to slap Kevin's back._

"_Happy birthday, bro," he said as Charlie came up. _

_Alfonso was already in the chips and salsa on the table, cussing as he spilled some on the floor. Shannon came up and gave me a hug before quickly backing away to talk to Kevin._

"_You're evil," I told Hayley as she walked up beside me. "What did I tell you?"_

"_How could I let your eighteenth birthday go to waste?" she said back and I shrugged, kissing her temple and then her lips, allowing mine to linger there for a minute before she pulled back and pushed me towards my friends.

* * *

_

_We sat spread out across the couches and the floor, telling funny stories and teasing each other, sometimes standing up to dance to a funky song that played before all sinking back to the ground. Hayley stayed upstairs with Grace and Melanie the entire party, only coming down every once in a while to change the CD. I grinned at her each time she did so, mouthing 'I love you'. She would simply smile before heading back upstairs._

_At last, at ten, five hours after the party had started, Kevin left, the last person to leave. He clapped me on the back and shook my hand._

"_I feel so old," I commented as he bent down to slide his shoes on without bothering to untie them. He glanced up at me, smirking slightly though his eyes were serious._

"_Welcome to adulthood," he told me, hugging me quickly. "I'll be up there with you soon." And then he was gone, speeding off in his little beat-up Camry._

_As soon as he had disappeared I felt arms go around my waist from behind. I closed the door and turned around in Hayley's arms, touching my forward to hers._

_"Thank you."

* * *

_

Halloween came and went, leaving me with the most candy I had ever gotten from trick or treating, even after I gave half of it to Max. A few weeks passed, same as ever besides the obvious. At school, I could go a few days without seeing Max in between classes whereas other days he would meet me at the end of each class. People talked about us a lot, their voices hushed as we walked by, some people even smiling slightly, the 'aw-isn't-that-adorable-I-want-that' look on their faces.

What they did not know was what was now behind our relationship, what kept me going to the hospital week after week. When I had told Spicklers the news, I had asked that they keep it between themselves. Because I could stand the looks of jealousy thrown at Max and I, but I would not be able to stand looks of pity.

"Hayley," Will called.

I turned to watch him weave through the hordes of people in the hallway. He had been the only other one to find out the news, and was also sworn to secrecy. It had been hard telling him, but more than any of the others, Will was treating me like I was still the Hayley from the summer and the years before that he had known me.

"Hey Will," I said, smiling as he gave me a quick hug.

"How's everything?" Will asked, walking with me to my next class.

Up ahead, I could see Max fooling around with Kevin Marley, and Grace talking hurriedly to Carly. Beside me, Will scribbled on the Spanish homework that was due the next hour.

"Pretty good," I responded, nodding to Taylor as she passed me.

Since marching band had ended, I barely saw her as she had moved on to symphony band this year and I was still stuck in the joke that was concert band with Grace.

"I was thinking lazer tag sometime soon," Will said, stopping as we reached his class. He wrote down one last thing before shoving the crumpled paper into his backpack.

"Yeah, that sounds good," I said, though he was already gone.

* * *

Thanksgiving was a quiet event, spent with Grandma Eleanor's side of the family. While Dad grumbled about visiting Mom's parents, he was silenced when Grandma Eleanor's pies were taken out of the oven. She sent us home with three, so the next day I brought an apple over to the Spicklers.

We sat around the fireplace, christening the first fire of the season. Everything was kept light, jokes flying around the room like kites on a windy day. No one mentioned the fact that this would be my last Thanksgiving.

"Okay, Jillian, what are you thankful for?" Mrs. Spickler asked, settling back against Mr. Spickler.

"Hayley's grandma," Jillian said immediately, taking another bite of pie.

"I think we all are," Melanie laughed, finishing off her own slice.

"What about you, Max?" Mrs. Spickler asked, smiling.

He looked at me for a long minute, picking his words carefully.

"My little sisters," he said quietly.

While everyone else shared confused glances, I looked at Max and smiled. Because without Grace and Melanie, we may have never met.

"Me too," I replied softly, feeling warmer than the flames that licked the frame of the fireplace. It was quiet for a minute.

"I don't get it," Jillian complained loudly.

"Without us, they wouldn't have known each other, stupid," Grace explained, rolling her eyes.

When I glanced at my second parents, they both wore an identical expression, though I could not figure it out. With careful smiles, they stood up and left to go clean up the kitchen, leaving the rest of us with lazy full stomachs.

* * *

Two days later I was in the hospital, wearing one of those uncomfortable hospital gowns with the hole in the back. The doctors were holding me overnight to monitor things that I did not care to know about. One of the nurses, my favorite from all the visits so far, had wheeled in another bed for Mom to sleep on. She had silenced my protests that she go home with her I-mean-business look, and now lay on her stomach reading a magazine article about 'the perfect jeans for your body'.

There was a knock on the door and I looked up to see Max smiling at me.

"Hey, Mrs. Bridge," he said, giving her a hug when she stood up.

"I wasn't expecting you," she said, though she smiled all the same.

"I'll only be here a minute," he replied but she cut him off.

"You stay as long as you like. Hayley, I'm going to get some coffee from the cafeteria, do you want anything?"

When I shook my head she left, smiling at me behind Max's back.

"Hey you," I said, taking his hand when he sat in the chair next to my bed. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I just thought I would have an open heart surgery. They told me it would be a while so I stopped in to say hi."

He grinned, bending down to kiss my forehead.

"That's because they have to wait for me to be done," I said, smirking. "I'm the head surgeon."

He raised an eyebrow, lowering his face to mine until all I could see were his eyes. Max's eyes were the coolest things I had ever seen, with the five different colors flecked throughout the gray-green. Every time I looked in them I could see this incredible life shining through, something that always transferred into me.

"Oh really," he laughed, kissing me.

I nodded seriously, putting my hand over his heart.

"No one else is touching this thing but you," he whispered in my ear.

* * *

"Okay guys, drink too much hot chocolate and don't get frostbite!" Dr. Mays, our history teacher, called after us as the bell rang to signal the start of winter break.

There were whoops and hollers as people ran through the hall to meet up with friends and boyfriends, anxious to start the holidays. I walked calmly through the chaos, searching for Max. When I did not see him I turned the corner and met Grace at her locker before we headed out to the parking lot. Snow was falling for the first time that winter, which was odd for Michigan, and everyone was rejoicing as they headed to their cars and buses. The ski team stood by the front doors, gazing lovingly at the white fluff, as they could finally practice outdoors.

Grace laughed when she saw them, putting her hand up to hide her smile so they would not see. I just grinned and shook my head, nodding at the one friend I had on the ski team. Her eyes were glowing as she waved excitedly.

"Boo!" someone said in my ear, wrapping their arms around my waist from behind. I shrieked and broke away from Max's grasp, turning around to slap him. He caught my hand though, holding it as he kissed my forehead.

"Hey ugly," he said to Grace. She sneered.

"You talk to yourself too much," she retorted, smirking as I high-fived her.

Max wrinkled his nose at her, popping her on the back of the head. She swung her arm around in response but he dodged out of the way, running past me to his side of the van and jumping in. I got the gist and followed suit quickly, jumping in before he locked Grace out. She pounded angrily on the passenger side door until Max sighed, turned back to wink at me, and unlocked the door. She climbed in with a huff, letting her backpack drop to the floor.

"I hate you," she said. Max grinned and floored it out of the parking lot.

"You really shouldn't talk to Hayley that way," he replied. "She didn't do anything." Grace reached out and tweaked his ear but he caught her arm and twisted it.

"Alright kids," I said, leaning forward and pulling them apart as we waited at the red light. "Play nice now, it's break for Pete's sake."

They both sighed and Grace glared out her window, shooting dirty looks at Max who ignored her and caught my eye in the rearview. He smiled and my heart beat a little faster, although that could have been because he almost drove us off the road as we pulled away from the intersection.

"I'm home!" I shouted, walking into the Spicklers' house ahead of Max and Grace.

"Ew, Max, I told you to stop bringing home strays," Jillian said but she hugged me.

Grace joined me on the couch a few minutes later with a fresh bowl of popcorn while Max disappeared downstairs. Pretty soon I heard the faint noise of a drum set.

"HEY HAYLEY!" someone shouted. I turned to find Melanie running towards me.

As she squeezed me I looked over her shoulder to find the front door wide open, Mrs. Spickler trudging through the ankle-deep snow on the steps. She walked in, slamming the door shut and rubbing her hands together. Then she looked up.

"Hiya, Hayley! How are you?" I walked over and gave her a hug, smiling. "Oh, you're so warm," she said, hanging on to me.

I laughed and she pulled back, yanking off her boots and gloves before immediately heading to the kitchen to make hot chocolate. I sat on one of the barstools as she mixed together the chocolate powder and water before sticking it in the microwave.

"How's the head today?" she asked me quietly, rummaging in the fridge for the Reddi Whip. I glanced at the microwave where the mugs of hot chocolate were revolving slowly.

"Better," I said at last, looking up at her. She had been looking at me and when I answered her eyes had widened.

"Really?" she asked, trying to control the excitement.

False hope, she knew, was not a good thing to have at the moment. I nodded, turning around to find Melanie and Grace. Grace was sitting with her back to me on the couch, watching the television. Melanie was sitting in the armchair next to the flat screen, reading her monthly PeTA magazine. When I glanced over she looked up at me and smiled before going back to reading.

"Yeah," I said, turning back around. There was a minute left on the hot chocolate and we were starting to smell it. "I went to the doctor again after Thanksgiving and they said it had shrunk a little and I would probably…" I paused, searching Mrs. Spickler's eyes. "They said I had until possibly the end of the school year."

She nodded and reached across the counter to squeeze my arm and ruffle my hair.

"Did you tell Max?" she asked. I pressed my lips together and nodded.

"Just last week. I wanted to wait until the holiday was over and then I just kept putting it off…It's hard. I don't like making him so sad." I frowned at the countertop. I heard Mrs. Spickler open her mouth to say something but then the microwave beeped and everyone came rushing in for hot chocolate.

"Here," she said when the kitchen had emptied again, and handed me two of the mugs. "Take one down to Max." I smiled and she turned me around slowly so I would not spill it.

Carefully, I made my way downstairs, following the noise of the drums though I would have known where to go in my sleep. The basement was dark, the only light coming from the daylight that streamed through the door-walls. Quietly, I stood and watched Max finish, not wanting to interrupt. It had been so long since I had watched him play, and it always knocked the breath out of me, the way he poured every ounce of himself into the drum set.

Quite abruptly he finished, sitting on his stool and just staring at the set. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and I saw his forehead wrinkle.

"Hey Maxi," I said softly, my voice carrying easily across the room. He looked up and I smirked. He grinned, coming over to grab a cup. We sat down on the floor in front of the doorwall and watched the snow fall as we drank the hot chocolate.

"I always loved the snow," Max said, gripping the hot mug with both hands. I looked over at him, doing the same. "It makes everything look fresh and clean, and it's so quiet outside. It's the one time I can actually stand the quiet."

I rested my head against his shoulder. He put a hand on my knee, turning his head to kiss my hair.

"You know what I love more than snow?" he said.

"Mmm?" I murmured quietly.

"You," he whispered.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on the steady rhythm of our hearts as they beat in unison. He took my mug out of my hands and I heard him set it down on the carpet with his. And then his arms were around me and I was the warmest I had been in a long time.

* * *

_Christmas came, complete with the trees, the lights, and the music. Hanukkah had already passed but I had told Hayley to wait so we could exchange presents on her holiday._

_So the day after Christmas I drove through the sudden-but-typical-for-Michigan blizzard to the Bridge house. It took twenty minutes longer than it should have because the roads were a mess and the old people always drove slower on those kind of days._

"_Hi Max! How are you?" Mrs. Bridge said when she opened the door._

_She hugged me and led me into the kitchen where fresh Christmas cookies sat cooling on the stove. I had only been in Hayley's house a few times, as we usually stayed at home since she was close to my entire family._

"_Hello Max," Mr. Bridge said, walking in from the family room where he had been watching a football game. I shook his hand._

"_Hello sir, how are you?" It was one of the few times I ever said sir - to a girl's father. _

_He grinned. "Great and you?" _

_I nodded, as he did not wait for an answer, instead going back into the family room and taking his seat on the couch in front of the fireplace where a fire was crackling loudly over the sound of the television. Hayley came in the room a minute later, her hair wet. She smiled apologetically before taking my hand and leading me downstairs. Her entire house was decorated on the inside, with two Christmas trees (A real one upstairs and a fake one downstairs, both decorated by my sisters this year.), nativity sets, light up Santa Clauses, dozens of paper snowflakes. I had only been in Kevin's house around Christmas before and all they had was a Christmas tree and some stockings on the mantel._

"_Hey Max!" Patrick's voice floated up the stairs to me and as we rounded the corner I saw him sitting on the couch grinning. I knew Hayley and him were close so I had always done my best to get along with him._

"It's because he knows how much I like you and he loves your band," Hayley had told me with a laugh one day when I brought up the fact that he was not like most older brothers were by being protective_._

_Now, as I noticed a girl sitting next to him, looking curiously at me, I grinned back._

"_Hey Patrick, how's it going buddy?" _

_Hayley took me over to the other couch and we sat down. She immediately settled into my side and I put my arm around her shoulders instinctively._

"_Great and you? I want you to meet my girlfriend, Julia. Julia, this is Hayley's boyfriend Max." I smiled at her, nodding._

"_Nice to meet you," she said quietly, her voice sweet and soft. She smiled and I repeated the greeting back._

_I glanced down and saw Hayley smiling. I laughed quietly and turned to watch the old holiday movie that was playing. After about ten minutes, Patrick and Julia left, saying something about a party, and then Hayley and I were alone._

"_So," I said, turning down the volume on the television._

"_So," she said, sitting up and smiling back at me. _

_We just stared at each other for a minute. The life in Hayley's eyes was so apparent, I could not understand how anyone, God or fate, would want to take her away from this place. I felt my throat tighten as we continued to look at each other so I quickly broke it off, looking off to the corner of the room instead._

"_Hey," Hayley said softly, and suddenly she was in my lap, her eyes on my face. I stared at the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree that sat in the corner as I attempted to hold back the tears._

"_Max, it's alright. Come on now, it's Christmas and we are here together. I love you so much, baby, come on," Hayley said, placing her head on my chest as the tears fell silently. My arms automatically wrapped around her before I even had to think about it and soon I felt her shaking with her quiet sobs._

"_I'm sorry, so sorry," I said. _

_I had ruined her Christmas. Dammit Max, you dumb ass. It helped me control my tears as I kicked myself mentally and snuggled down into the couch, bringing Hayley with me._

"_I love you," I whispered in her ear, kissing just below it. She stopped shaking and lifted her tear-streaked face. It broke my heart as her lips touched just underneath my jaw._

_We lay together for a long time before at last, Hayley seemed to gain her spark back._

"_Okay, Maxipad!" she exclaimed, sitting up on the edge of the couch next to me. I lifted my hand and wiped away the streaks of her mascara. "I can't wait any longer! Your present, if I do say so myself, is quite rad."_

_I laughed as she stood up and raced to the tree, kneeling down next to it. Slowly, I sat up and then got up to follow her. She pulled me down so I was sitting next to her and then I pulled her in between my legs, her back against my chest, head resting on my shoulder._

"_Here," she said, lifting the box up in front of her._

_I took it, kissing her hair, before opening it. Gasping, I slid out the shiny new dog tags with the Army logo engraved in the front._

"_Hayley," I breathed, as I felt an inscription on the back. Turning it over, I lifted them up to read it._

"_All your soldier information," she said, turning her head to look at me. Immediately, I leaned down and kissed her._

"_Hayley…" I was at a loss for words. There were only three that could describe it at the moment. "I love you," I said simply._

_She grinned and kissed my cheek, turning around in my arms to hook the tags around my neck. I grinned, as my hand reached up absentmindedly to touch them. Taking her hands in mine, I leaned forward and kissed her again, smiling against her lips._

"_I don't deserve you," I said quietly, reaching into my pocket to pull out my gift to her. "But I'm trying my best." _

_I laid the box gently in her palm, closing her fingers over it. She looked at me curiously for a second before slowly opening the velvet case._

"_Max!" she gasped, carefully lifting out the delicate necklace._

"_Mom helped me pick it out," I said, looking down as I felt my face heat up. _

_She lifted my chin and kissed me, the sweetest kiss we had ever shared. Tears shone in her eyes when she broke away, handing me the necklace where two intertwined hearts dangled. Turning around, she lifted her hair and I put the necklace around her neck. When I pulled back my hands she turned around again, hand over her heart where the necklace hung._

"_I love you," she whispered, burying her face in my sweatshirt.

* * *

_**I will probably be posting this at a faster pace, just to finish it. Meanwhile, I'm trying to find the missing link from the last AOD chapter to the one after that. But anyway. I only have one question. What has been your favorite scene so far? Please let me know. -**_zoomie_**  
**


	14. Chapter 14

"_HAPPY NEW YEAR!" we all shouted, as the ball on the screen hit the bottom. _

_Our family room was filled with the sounds of glasses clinking and reckless cheers, provided by my family and the Bridges. I pulled Hayley to me, brushing my lips against her temple. She turned her head and caught my mouth._

"_First kiss of two-thousand nine," she said laughing, her eyes shining brightly. _

_Melanie, in a very erratic moment, threw her arms around me. Shock flooded through me but then I laughed as she pulled away and ran to hug Mrs. Bridge. Looking around, I saw Hayley hugging Patrick, laughing as he whispered something in her ear._

"_Happy New Year, buddy!" Dad said, coming over and giving me a quick hug. _

_For some reason, I felt like crying as everyone continued with the clinking of glasses and loud voices. And then I realized why when Hayley hugged both her parents, and I saw their eyes shining. She had lived to see the New Year._

_Just at that moment, she turned and caught my eye and I jerked my head towards the door that led down to the backyard. She smiled and nodded, both of us sneaking over and out the door before anyone noticed._

"_Wow," Hayley breathed, as we walked down the deck steps and into the yard that was quickly being covered with the fat flakes that fell from the sky. "It's beautiful."_

"_Yes," I agreed immediately, watching her face as her big eyes stared up at the falling snow. Her cheeks were pink and her hair was slightly messy but damn, I thought, she looked beautiful._

_Hayley looked at me then and laughed._

"_What?" she asked innocently, spinning around. Her eyes widened and she gasped as she fell into an extra large pile of snow. Laughing, I walked by, running away as she got up and started to chase me. After a minute I tired out and she jumped on me, knocking me down into the snow with her. I propped myself up on an elbow so I could look at her, brushing her hair off her face._

"_Want to know something?" she whispered, her eyes dropping down._

"_What?" I whispered back, wrapping my arms around her. _

_She smelled like cinnamon and cake batter, from earlier when she had been baking a thousand desserts with Melanie and Jillian while Grace taste-tested._

"_This last year was the best of my life," she said, her eyes seeing something other than what was surrounding us as she looked up at me. "I couldn't have asked for anything better than this. It was like a dream come true."_

"_For me and you both," I replied, closing my eyes and resting my head on hers as she sank into my stomach, her legs tangling with mine. "But it isn't over yet Hayley. It isn't." I felt her nod against me._

"_I know, Maxi, I know. Want to know something else?" She was back to the present now, sitting up as the cold of the snow started to get to her._

"_Hit me," I said. Her lips twitched in a smile._

"_I love you." Her lips were soft when I leaned down to kiss her._

"_Hayley, Max, it's time!" Mom called from the house. I sighed, and rolled away, pulling Hayley up with me._

"_Time for what?" she asked but I just shook my head and led her back through the snow._

"_Finally!" Mrs. Bridge said when we walked back in. Sighing, I forced a smile out but then laughed when I turned to see Hayley's shocked face._

"_What…in the world," she breathed, staring at the makeshift stage. _

_The couches were pushed back, making a wide-open area in the middle of the room. Three floor disco-ball lamps were providing the only light in the room, besides for the television that glowed with the menu of the karaoke machine._

"_Welcome to a typical Spicklers' New Years," I said, gesturing grandly at the set-up. She smacked my arm as everyone started sorting out who was going first and doing what._

"_You couldn't have warned me?" she whispered menacingly in my ear but when I turned to her at her I saw the smirk and excitement in her eyes. "This is going to be great!" she said, walking up to our families who were standing in a wide circle, surrounding Jillian who was first up to sing._

_For a minute, I just stood there and watched, everyone laughing and smiling, joining in every once in a while to help Jillian out when she hit a bad note, cracking up the whole while. When the song was nearly over, Hayley turned and looked at me, asking with her eyes, so I nodded and walked up to join her.

* * *

_

On Valentine's Day, Max took me out to lunch during school, sneaking me by the parking lot security.

"Our first date!" I exclaimed when he pulled into the Bob Evans parking lot. He grinned and took me inside, his index finger looped around my pinky.

"So. Hayley Bridge," Max said after the waitress had cleared away our dishes and brought out some hot chocolate.

"Yes, Max Spickler," I said, trying to hold back my smile.

His knees touched mine underneath the table, sending thrills all through my body. It never got old with Max, everything he did or said made my heart beat a little faster, each kiss sending butterflies into my stomach.

"A long time ago, I promised this beautiful girl I'd take her on a road trip."

His promise, I thought, and my heart started to go wild, remembering how I had been half kidding. But now, as I thought back to that night, I could see how serious Max had been.

"And then there is this thing schools do when spring is near, some sort of vacation thing, all the seniors freak out about it, and the kids left home cry themselves to sleep-"

At this, I laughed out loud, looking down when people at other tables glanced over at us. Raising my eyes, I found Max smirking.

"So," he continued, watching me carefully. "Spring Break is in about two weeks. And California has been calling my name for a while now and your name is echoing behind it." He paused and watched the smile spread slowly across my face into a grin.

"No way!" I whispered excitedly, so I would not yell. "We're going on a road trip?"

He nodded and I got up, running slowly around the small booth to hug him. He laughed, pulling me down next to him and wrapping his arm around me. Resting my head against his shoulder, I took a sip of his hot chocolate because I had finished mine just the second before.

"Yes, yes we are," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

* * *

"Alright kids, c'mon, let's get a move on! Let's go Hayley!" Mrs. Spickler said, walking by and smacking me on the butt.

I jumped around and narrowed my eyes at her. She laughed and packed the last bag into the back of her Suburban, which stood at the top of the driveway.

"Do we have everyone?" Mom asked, looking around. We stood by the garage in the cold Michigan it-should-be-spring-but-it's-still-snowing weather, huddled together in our thin winter coats and gloves.

"Max, Melanie, Grace, Hayley? Good?" Mr. Spickler asked, though he was staying home, leaving Max as the only male on the trip. We all nodded, shivering, and ran over to jump into the now-heated car.

"Where's Jillian?" Melanie asked, getting situated in the back. We all glanced around before I spotted her running out of the front door, barely stopping to shut it behind her.

"What the hell…" Grace muttered as Jillian climbed into the back with Melanie, a blanket wrapped around her.

"I almost forgot Harvey!" she exclaimed, holding up her stuffed turtle as proof.

"_Why a turtle?" I had asked her, back when I had first seen the fuzzy green blob._

"_It was a new Build-A-Bear animal when I was four years old," she had replied._

"_Yeah, okay, but why a turtle?" I had asked again, mystified._

"_Because it looked lonely," she had said and I dropped it, my heart melting._

Dan and Patrick were staying behind to hold down the fort. So once Jillian and Mel were situated in the back, we put the seat back up and climbed in, first Grace, then me, and then Max. Mrs. Spickler climbed in behind the wheel and Mom sat next to her, holding a map with a thick red line going across the path we would take.

"We ready?" Mrs. Spickler asked as we pulled out of the driveway, waving goodbye to Mr. Spickler who stood with his hands in his pockets in the garage.

"Say goodbye!" Mom said, laughing.

"Good riddance," Max mumbled, his knee touching mine. "Let's get to the sunshine and heat already."

* * *

We were only three hours into the trip, still in Michigan as we headed towards Chicago, and everyone was already sleeping but the moms and me. Looking out of the corners of my eyes, I saw Max resting his head against the window, eyes closed as his chest rose up and down with every breath he took. I squeezed his hand, holding onto it and marveling at how, even in his sleep, he linked his fingers with mine. On my other side, Grace had her head thrown back against the seat, her mouth wide open as she slept, whispering something every once in a while. Craning my neck to look behind me, I saw Jillian leaning against Melanie, who was leaning against the window, both of them sound asleep.

Sighing, I leaned forward and rested my chin on the seat that divided the front from the rest of the car, still holding onto Max's hand.

"Chicago is our first stop, right?" I asked, interrupting the moms' discussion about the best form of exercise, Pilates or kickboxing. They both stopped talking and Mom turned to look at me.

"Right," she said, smiling. "Is everyone else asleep?"

"Oh, just wake Max or Grace up," Mrs. Spickler said, shaking her head. "Have them play a game with you. Or sing some songs." She laughed then and I just shook my head, smiling and leaning back so they could continue their conversation.

At last I found myself staring out the windows, amazed at all the different types of beautiful landscapes we passed, from the country to some small towns we drove through for shortcuts. I could not get enough of it and when I glanced in the rearview mirror at one point I saw my own wide eyes staring back at me.

I was almost disappointed when we pulled into a McDonald's just outside of Chicago to go to the bathroom before heading into the city to explore.

"Max, wake up," I said, nudging him with my knee. Melanie and Jillian had woken up when the car had stopped and they had already gotten out with Grace and Mrs. Spickler, following Mom into the greasy building.

"Max? Earth to Max!" I said more loudly, leaning down to kiss his cheek. He jumped up, almost hitting my head with his own.

"Where are we? Shit, did I fall asleep on you?" he asked me, his eyes apologetic. Smirking, I nodded and pulled him out of the car, slamming the door behind us.

"Bathroom break," I said, wrapping my index finger around his pinky as we walked into the building. "We are just outside of Chicago."

"Damn, I was out for four hours? Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked too cute asleep," I said simply.

"Finally, you two," Jillian said when we walked into the air conditioning. For some odd reason it was hot in Chicago. "Way to sleep, Maxipad," she continued, being the only other one to adopt my nickname for Max.

After our bladders were empty we all piled back into the van and rode into the city, Mom driving this time. Melanie and Grace had been to Chicago before but itwas new to the rest of us, and we stared through the windows wide-eyed.

Our first stop was the Hard Rock Café gift shop, Mom buying us all souvenirs when Mrs. Spickler promised to buy lunch and dinner for everyone. Melanie, Jillian, and I all got matching shirts while Max got a trucker cap and Grace a brown leather bracelet. When our purchases were safe in plastic bags that Mrs. Spickler eyed with a grimace, we headed back out into the sun and walked across the busy street to the Rainforest Café for lunch.

Linking arms with Melanie, we wandered around the downstairs gift shop, waiting to be seated in the busy restaurant. Max walked off to the one arcade game while Jillian and Grace stood looking at the random stuffed animals the shop had, occasionally picking up a long snake or hairy chimp.

"C'mon," Max whispered in my ear, startling me, and pulled me away from Melanie who was now looking at the Go Green shirts.

"Where are we going?" I asked him giggling, as we ran through the displays to the other side of the room.

He stopped me at one of those goofy photo booths that spit out four or five pictures and held up some coins. I squealed, throwing back the curtain and jumping in, pulling him with me. He closed the curtain behind us and inserted the coins, choosing a "Wanted" frame for the pictures. We took four different ones, silly and serious. As soon as we finished, before Max could even move, I crawled over him and out of the booth, ripping the pictures out of the dispenser.

"Why are you smiling like that?" he asked me as he emerged from behind the curtain and rested his head on my shoulder from behind to look at the pictures with me. First a silly one, our tongues sticking out, giving each other bunny ears. Then Max kissing me on the cheek while I grinned goofily. Followed by us both smiling nicely ("For our parents," Max had said with a smirk) and then me laughing hard at something Max had said, my hand pressed against my mouth and my eyes squeezed shut. I had not noticed it when the picture was taken but I saw now that when camera flashed, Max had been looking at me and not at the screen, a soft expression on his face.

Turning around, I wrapped my arms around his neck, being extra careful with the pictures. "I love you," I told him and he smiled, kissing me.

"I love you too, Hal."

"Max! Hayley!" Jillian called from over by the door and we quickly broke apart and raced towards the stairs that led to the dining area. "You guys are ridiculous," she said laughing and shaking her head.

We glanced at one another and laughed as I sneakily tucked the pictures in my pocket.

* * *

"Okay how are we doing the sleeping arrangements?" Mrs. Spickler asked.

We were not sure if she was actually asking us or just talking to herself. Most likely she was exhausted from the day and probably did not even remember we were in the car with her.

We had just pulled into a little hole in the wall motel off of Route 66, just on the border of Illinois and Missouri. It was two in the morning and we all dragged our feet into the designated rooms. Mrs. Spickler and Mom had at last decided that they would have a room and bring Jillian with them while the rest of us would share a room.

"And Max will sleep on the couch," Mrs. Spickler said pointedly, eyeing us all but letting her gaze hang on Max and I a little longer. "Am I clear?"

"What are we going to do, Mom? I mean really," Max pointed out but was silenced with the look she shot him. Grace, Mel, and I snickered as we unlocked our door and went inside, close to collapsing on the beds.

"Shotgun my own bed," Grace said. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Max glance around and sigh. There was no couch.

"That's no fair!" Mel exclaimed, standing up and putting her hands on her hips.

"Kids, play nice," Max said, his voice exhausted, as he flopped onto the floor on his stomach, his head on his arms.

"Don't you want to sleep in my bed?" I asked Melanie innocently.

"Of course I do, Hal!" she exclaimed, everyone laughing.

While Max went in the bathroom we all stripped down to our shorts and tank tops before climbing underneath the covers. When Max came back out in shorts and no shirt, he stole a pillow and blanket off of Grace's bed.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, sitting up angrily.

"I'm on the freaking floor and you are on a bed, chill," he said simply before making himself comfortable on the faded motel carpet as Grace fell back into the pillows and fell fast asleep. When he was comfortable, his hand shot up into the air, fingers forming the "I love you" sign. Smiling to myself, I flashed it back to him.

The moon shone a bright square of light across the foot of the bed and I stared at it from my side as I tried to fall asleep. I could just see Max's toes from the position I was in and I wished fervently that he could have been lying in the bed with me.

As I lay there, thinking of the day ahead, the pain crept up on me and pulled a sneak attack.

"Ah," I moaned, turning over to muffle the noise with my pillow. Slowly, gripping my head with one hand, I threw back the cover and walked blindly to the bathroom, hoping I would not step on Max along the way and wake him up.

When I flipped the switch next to the sink, a light flickered on over the shower, threatening to go out before it steadied itself. Sighing, I flipped the toilet seat down and sat on it, holding my head with both hands and rocking back and forth as the tears from the pain streamed down my face noiselessly. No matter what I did, I always just had to ride the pain out, like cramps. It sounded unfair but, sadly, I had gotten used to it.

This was the first time the bad pain had happened on the road trip but it had been happening more and more frequently, the just bearable pain almost crippling me for a few minutes until it faded, though it left me with a weakness that lasted much longer.

"Hal? Hal! Are you okay?" Max whispered loudly, the door creaking closed behind him as he stepped into the bathroom.

I had not let him see me like this so far, not wanting to frighten him. My attempt at a nod was pathetic however and Max immediately wrapped his arms around me as I buried my face in his chest.

A little over five minutes later, the longest time for the pain to subside yet, I sighed and sat back, wiping my hands across my face. Max took them in his own and kissed my fingers and then my lips. He tried to meet my gaze but I stared stubbornly at the ugly tile of the motel bathroom.

"Hal?" he asked quietly, after a few minutes, standing up and moving back to lean against the counter.

Slowly, I lifted my eyes to his. They were full of something I could not decipher and when Max smiled wryly I realized his eyes did not sparkle like they used to.

"I'm fine," I whispered, standing up and taking the one step that brought me only a few inches away from him, though I felt myself lean to one side, my knees weak.

He put his hands on my hips to steady me before pulling them to his own, kissing me softly before leaning back to search my eyes. I tried to make them as innocent as possible and he at last gave up, kissing me one more time before leading me out of the bathroom.

I flicked off the light on our way out, pressing my palm to Max's own. He brought me over to my side of the bed and tucked me in, kissing me on the cheek.

"I love you," I whispered.

He smiled and this time his eyes did twinkle. I saw him open his mouth to repeat the three words but then my head touched the pillow and I was out.

As I drifted between consciousness and unconsciousness I heard random low voices and scuffles and just as I was about to sink fully under, I felt arms wrap around me and I sighed, relaxing back into Max.

* * *

"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!" someone said in my ear and I jumped, opening my eyes before immediately closing them as they were blinded by the sunlight that streamed through the cracks in the blinds.

Lifting my head from the pillow I saw Max sitting next to me, grinning. Looking behind him, I saw the empty unmade bed that Grace had claimed hours before.

"Where are your sisters?" I asked, sitting up lazily and stretching my arms above my head. Max reached forward and tickled my stomach and I quickly slapped his hand away, giggling.

"They went to get breakfast with Mom. Your mom and Jillian went to the store to buy something or other that they needed." He threw back the covers and stood up, stretching, before walking over and opening up the blinds fully. The sunrise was still there though it was now fading, and I realized how early it was.

"The moms wanted to get a move on," he said, as if reading my mind.

I laughed to myself and slid out, walking over to the door and pulling it open. Across the parking lot through a window I could just make out Melanie standing there waving at me, as if she had been waiting. I waved back and then closed the door, going over to my suitcase and digging through for some shorts and a t-shirt.

"Did they swear not to tell your mom?" I asked, going into the bathroom to change.

"Yeah, don't worry, I took care of it. And we'd know if they had told, right?" he said as I walked back out, and I saw his shoulders shake as he laughed. "Mom would've kicked down this door and spanked both of us." I laughed too, sliding on my flip-flops before going back to the door.

"Ready?" I asked him, as both our stomachs grumbled.

We laughed and Max slid his index around my pinky, grabbing the room key off the table at the last minute before the door clicked shut. The air was still a little too cool for shorts but I managed, still weak from the pain the night before, and within a minute we were stepping through the door of the motel dining room, a bell announcing our entrance. Glancing around, I saw Mrs. Spickler glance up from the newspaper that was spread out across the table in front of her, crowding Grace and Melanie's plates. She smiled and waved before her eyes strayed back to the black and white print.

Max and I piled a plate high with muffins and a bagel before making a waffle in the little waffle maker the motel provided, snickering as we spilled some of the batter on a piece of toast that was in the tray next to the rack of cups of batter. Sneakily, Max picked up another cup and poured a little of it into ours to replace the spill as I looked around, trying to be casual, to make sure no one was watching.

By the time we got to the table, we had three plates, two Belgian waffles, and about five muffins.

"You guys aren't hungry, are you?" Grace said, smirking and stealing a muffin.

"Hey!" Max said loudly, earning a look from Mrs. Spickler. I snickered and took a bite of the waffle before drowning it in syrup and butter.

"Your healthiness impresses me," Mrs. Spickler said, her head tipped back as she laughed, though she made a face as I took another bite. "Do you want some waffle with that syrup?" Max rolled his eyes but Melanie giggled, trying to hide it as I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Boo!" Jillian said, jumping up from behind me. I covered my mouth just in time to hold back my scream. Turning around, I saw Mom avoiding my eyes as she laughed, standing across the room filling up two plates.

"Did you guys get everything you needed?" Mrs. Spickler asked, folding up her newspaper and setting it on the table behind us before pulling up two more chairs.

Jillian nodded and accepted the plate Mom brought over. They sat down on either side of Max and I, digging into their breakfast as if it was the last one they would ever eat.

"Where's the fire?" Max asked and I slapped him five.


	15. Chapter 15

_The endless yellow line slipped by as we flew down the road, the sun shining through the windshield, forcing Mom and Mrs. Bridge to put on their sunglasses. It was warmer in Missouri, enough that we all wore t-shirts and jeans, or in my case, no shirt. We were all getting cozy in the backseats, our legs touching one another without effort as we packed the bags in differently each time we stopped._

"_Who has to pee?" Mom asked as we passed a 'Restroom in 2 miles' sign. We all raised our hands, including Mrs. Bridge. "Alrighty then," Mom said laughing and fanning herself with the road map._

_We got off the exit and whipped into a parking space, hopping out of the car and running towards the rest rooms, Mom shoving her sunglasses on top of her head, ignoring stares from other travelers. When everyone was relieved and feeling better we gathered around by the front of the Suburban._

"_So where next?" Jillian asked, raising her hand to chew on her thumbnail. Melanie whacked her hand away, dodging the reflexive slap._

_The moms pulled out the road map and spread it out across the hood, their fingers tracing the route we were on. I glanced at Hayley and saw her smirking at who knows what, as I caught her hand in mine, my thumb tracing the inside of her palm._

"_Springfield, Missouri?" Grace asked and I looked over to see her peering down at where Mrs. Bridge's finger had stopped on the map. "What's in Springfield?"_

"_We'll find out!" Mom said, laughing and whacking her with the map. "Now let's go kids, we have a long day ahead of us!" _

_Moaning, we climbed back into the car._

_Once again, after only a couple hours, everyone fell back asleep. I rested my head against the window, eyes closed, opening them every once in a while to check on Hayley. It seemed she refused to fall asleep, instead staring out the window at all the scenery, drinking it in. At one point, I stopped closing my eyes, just watching her._

_She looked absolutely beautiful as her wide eyes took in the long stretches of fields and trees that lined the freeway. Her hair was down, spilling across her shoulders. Her face was peaceful and it was one of those times when you catch a person vulnerable and honest, just how they are._

_I smiled and readjusted my head against the window. Hayley caught the movement and looked over at me, her smile automatic as she caught me watching her._

"_Hi," she whispered, wrapping her hand around mine. _

_Glancing up toward the front, I saw that our moms were deep in conversation about who knows what._

"_Hi," I whispered back, grinning goofily now as she leaned down to kiss me quick, before sitting back up. _

_I sat up also and she sunk into my side immediately, resting her head on my shoulder. _

"_Having fun yet?" I asked, kissing her temple. She did not answer my question, somehow knowing that I already knew the answer._

"_I want to live in that town," she replied, her voice quiet so she would not wake up my sisters._

"_The one we drove through this morning?" I asked her. _

_We had passed through a small town right after we had left the motel. Hayley had been enraptured by the little houses and streets there, smiling at how all the people walked everywhere and waved though they did not know us._

_She nodded against my shoulder. "I'd live in that beautiful blue Victorian, with the wraparound porch and big backyard." I remembered her pointing it out to me, lips curled in a smile as we saw a little beagle ran through the tall grass. "The garage would be a perfect home for my Mustang, and that backyard would be perfect for softball. My kids would never get bored in that town either, there seemed to be so much to do." _

_She went on and on about it, her voice getting softer as she imagined how great the town would be. I wanted to stop her, but I let her keep going, creating dreams that she would never be able to fulfill._

"_You know, I can see you living in that house," I said when she paused. _

_And it was true; I could picture her chasing little kids around the backyard, laughing as her husband watched from the back door, a big grin on his face, my face. It was easy to picture Hayley jumping in her cherry red Mustang, driving down the freeway with her red hair flying behind her. My eyes felt wet and I immediately forced myself to stop thinking about it, swallowing over the lump that was growing in my throat._

"_Really?" she asked, hopeful, as she pulled back to look up at me._

"_Really," I forced out and she grinned, her eyes sparkling. _

_I leaned down to kiss her but pulled back as soon as my lips touched hers. She sank into my side again and after only a minute I heard her breathing get deeper as she at last fell asleep.

* * *

_

"_Marco!"_

"_Polo!" we all shouted, swimming away as quickly and silently as we could to the opposite end of the pool. The moonlight shone bright across the water, helping the pool lights to brighten it as it was ten at night and we were the only ones in the motel pool._

"_Marco!" Hayley called again, treading water for a minute as she listened for a noise. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her mouth twisted down in concentration._

"_Polo!" we responded and Melanie silently slipped out of the pool, running along the deck before jumping in right behind Hayley. She shrieked and whipped around, sticking her arms out, but Mel was already a few feet away._

"_Marco!"_

_And then Jillian swam too close to Hayley, making too much noise, and Hayley reached out to grab her foot. _

"_Aha!" she shouted, opening her eyes in triumph as her voice echoing around the high ceiling. _

_Jillian frowned but then laughed, splashing her. Hayley splashed her back and then we were all splashing each other, laughing and shouting, filling the four walls with noise. Grace swam over and pushed down on my head, dunking me under but I reached out and pushed her away, quickly surfacing to dunk her under. Hayley swam over and jumped on my back, pulling me away so Grace could come back up for air. I reached my arms around to pull her off and throw her in the water. Jillian was there immediately splashing me but I lifted her and threw her in too. Melanie swam in front of her, waiting for her to resurface before dunking her under again, but Jillian was quick and grabbed her ankle and they both went down._

"_Alright, I'm done," Grace said at last, grinning as she climbed out of the pool and wrapped a towel around herself. Melanie and Jillian joined her, slipping on their shoes._

"_You coming?" Melanie asked, turning to look back at us as they all headed out the door and across the parking lot back towards our room._

"_Yeah, I'll be there in a little bit," Hayley said, floating on her back. _

_Mel nodded and left and I quickly swam over to Hayley. She smiled at me, dropping her legs and treading water. Taking her hand, I pulled her under the water and we swam down to the bottom of the pool, the chlorine stinging our eyes. When our feet touched the slippery tile, I moved closer and kissed her, before we both shot back up to the surface for air._

_We swam together over to the shallow end so we could stand._

"_I could swim all night!" Hayley exclaimed, splashing water back and forth between her hands._

"_No more caffeine for you," I said smirking and she laughed, tilting her head back. I caught her open mouth with mine, wrapping my arms around her waist underneath the water. She kissed me back, her hands on my chest._

"_What if I like caffeine?" she said against my lips. I kissed her one more time before resting my forehead against her._

"_Then I guess you can have some," I said, sighing, though I could not stop my smile. Hayley's answering smile was wide and bright._

"_I love you," she said, wiping away a drop of water that ran down my cheek._

"_I love you too." Though the water was cold, Hayley was warm as I pulled her against me.

* * *

_

"_Wakey wakey!" A muffled voice, that did not sound too muffled, shouted through our door. _

_With a groan, I rolled myself out of the bed I had been sharing with Hayley, shooting a look at Grace and Melanie where they lay in the other bed, their eyes squinty with sleep. Quickly, before opening the door, I messed up the blanket and pillow on the floor to make it look like I had slept there._

"_Mom. It's early. Go back to bed," I said, as soon as I opened the door to find Mom grinning, too cheery for eight thirty in the morning, holding a box of jelly donuts._

"_Are you telling me no one's hungry for donuts?" she asked, feigning shock. _

_We all mumbled and nodded, actually moving out of bed now. We left our door open so Jillian could come in and join us while we polished off the box._

"_These are really good," Mel said, her mouth full so it came out like 'thee arb wely gud'. _

_We laughed but nodded in agreement. Jillian came in then, narrowing her eyes at us all as we looked guiltily back at her until she realized that there were two donuts left in the box for her._

_Hayley licked her lips and fingers, suddenly raising her hand to her head but then dropping it quickly and looking out the still-open door sheepishly. I watched her until she gave in and looked over at me. She shrugged and smiled and I smiled softly back, watching her face even when she looked away._

"_Earth to Max!" Grace said, waving her hand impatiently in front of my face._

"_What do you want?" I asked her, breaking my gaze to meet her narrowed eyes a foot away from me. She had the last jelly donut in her hand._

"_If you don't eat it in two seconds, I'm taking it," she said, waving it tauntingly in front of my face. I glanced over at Jillian, asking her with my eyes._

"_Already had two back in our room," she said out loud before going back to whatever she had been telling Hayley and Mel about. Grabbing it roughly out of Grace's hand, a drop of jelly flying across the room, I bit into it and stuck my tongue out at her._

"_Since when do you offer it to me before eating it yourself?" I asked her, halfway through it. _

_The jelly was dripping down my fingers, leaving a sticky red trail behind it. While I waited for her answer I licked it up, following it right back to the donut._

"_I don't know," she sighed, and stood up. "Can't I be nice?" _

_We both burst out laughing, in an odd moment of brother-sister relationship, but then she walked away and I turned to Hayley. She was looking at me, a crooked smile on her face and her eyes twinkling._

"_What?" I said, scooting over to wrap my arms around her. She opened her mouth to say something but then Mrs. Bridge came into the room, clapping her hands._

"_Let's go, let's go, let's go!" she exclaimed excitedly. "So much to do, so much to see, not enough time!" _

_Hayley laughed at her mom, loosening herself gently from my arms to go stand up and give her a hug. Mrs. Bridge smiled at me over her daughter's shoulder, winking as she pulled away and went back into her own room._

"_Let's go!" she exclaimed again, her voice carrying easily through our door before I heard the other door slam.

* * *

_

"_So what're we doing today?" Grace asked as we piled into the van again. _

_This time her and Hayley sat in the back while I was stuck up in the front with Jillian and Melanie. They took turns annoying me, tweaking my ear, pulling my hair, or elbowing me in the ribs. At last I just could not take it and I elbowed them both – they were sitting on either side of me – and they stopped immediately, holding their sides._

"_Well, guys, we were thinking about heading to the gift shops and finding a good restaurant to eat lunch at before heading out again. Our next stop is St. Louis and we would like to be there by sundown," Mom replied, gunning it out of the parking lot._

"_Of course, we don't know if that's possible," Mrs. Bridge said and both moms laughed before starting their own conversation._

"_How about I Spy?" Grace suggested quietly from behind me. We all murmured agreements._

"_I'll start!" Hayley said excitedly. _

_She paused a moment and we all waited, staring out the windows as the fields around the back streets we were taking into town flew by. She took so long in fact that I turned around to look at her. She just smiled and opened her mouth to speak._

"_I spy, with my little eye, something silver," she said softly, sitting back and relaxing while we all searched our surroundings._

"_It is in the car, right?" Jillian asked, raising an eyebrow._

"_Of course," Hayley replied, and looked out the window absently._

_We guessed about thirty objects in total – do not ask me how we found thirty different silver things in the car, but we did – and by then we were rolling into the downtown area of Springfield._

"_Well, what was it?" Melanie asked, frustrated as she tipped her head back against the seat. She rolled her eyes back to look at Hayley, who smirked, upside down._

"_Max's earring," she replied and my hand automatically went up to the small stud in my ear. _

_I had forgotten about it, not remembering putting it in, now it was just habit. I had gotten the stud put in back when I first joined Automatic Reaction but now I never noticed the post going through my earlobe._

"_Oh God," I said, letting my head drop against the window as I bit back my smile. "Wow, guys, you couldn't guess that?" _

"_It's on _your_ ear," Jillian pointed out, eyes narrowed._

"_Touché," I replied, turning around to wink at Hayley. She giggled and ruffled the long hair I did not have, her hand instead just running over the dark fuzz of my shaven head._

"_We're here," Mom announced suddenly, pulling into a parking space. We all looked out the windows, really seeing Springfield for the first time._

"_It's beautiful," Hayley whispered as she linked her fingers in mine while we waited on the sidewalk for the moms to dig out their sunglasses and wallets. Grace was chasing Melanie around the street, across to the other sidewalk and back again until a lone car rolled down to the traffic light._

"_Alright, ready?" Mrs. Bridge asked before leading the way down the sidewalk to the first store on the list.

* * *

_

"_Look at this!" Jillian whispered loudly, hiding her snicker behind her hand as Hayley and Grace ran over to see what she was pointing at. _

_I turned around and walked the other direction, pulled to the framed photograph that hung on the wall of Lincoln shaking hands with a military leader. It was mind-boggling to think that they did not even have the Air Force, or the Navy, or any of that back then. It was just an army, North and South._

_Bending down, I inspected the price tag out of curiosity but quickly straightened up and moved over to where Melanie was gazing in awe at a knick-knacky silver ball. It would take selling three of my beat up van to pay for that picture. I quickly forgot about it though and laughed at Melanie, waving a hand in front of her face. She shook her head and looked up at me sheepishly as I raised an eyebrow._

"_Find anything good?" Hayley asked quietly, wrapping her arms around my middle from behind as Melanie moved on to the next display of souvenirs._

"_Yes," I said, turning around to kiss her forehead and then her lips._

"_I mean in the store," she said, giggling, before walking over to where the cheap stuff was, her fingers automatically wrapping around mine. We walked up and down the aisles, laughing at the gizmos and gags they had to buy before I at last picked up a little figurine of Lincoln on a horse. This town really took it to heart that it was Old Abe's birthplace._

_Digging out my wallet at the counter, I pulled out the dollar twenty-five the rubber figurine cost before turning around and presenting it to Hayley. She laughed out loud but grabbed onto it, wrapping her arms around me and burying her face in my t-shirt._

"_Thanks Maxipad," she mumbled, leaning back and grinning at me._

_For the rest of the time in Springfield, she did not let go of it, randomly lifting it up to eye level to examine it, a slight smile on her face.

* * *

_

We stopped on our way through St. Louis to get pictures in front of the Gateway Arch and have a snack at Ted Drew's Frozen Custard. The moms ran into a souvenir shop and quickly filled out postcards to send back to Dan, Patrick, and Mr. Spickler.

We stayed in St. Louis long enough to visit the zoo. While Melanie and Jillian raced off ahead with Grace to the polar bears and penguins, I found myself pulling Max back to the elephants. There were only two out that day. They stood facing each other, their trunks entangled as they playfully wrestled. Their eyes were large and warm looking from where Max and I stood ten feet away. With a small trumpet, the elephant on the right broke and away and walked a few steps toward the fence, his or her eyes carefully watching me.

"Hayley," Max whispered in my ear. "Let's go see the tigers."

I ignored him though, frozen to the ground as my eyes locked with this massive beast's. There had only been one other time when I had felt such a connection with anyone or anything, and that person was gently tugging on my hand.

At last, with a small snort of air, the elephant turned and walked away and I found myself allowing Max to lead me to the tigers, though I threw a last glance over my shoulder just as the elephant did the same.

* * *

At eleven that night we pulled over for a bathroom break, somewhere near the border of Missouri and Kansas, and then the moms took the backseat and immediately fell asleep. Max climbed in behind the wheel and pulled me in next to him, handing me the map.

For the next couple hours I babbled on about random things to keep him awake, like what I was expecting for the softball team this year and the funny kids in the classes I was taking that semester. We had the radio on low, playing annoying makes-you-want-to-dance music to keep our eyes open.

"What about Revolving Door?" Max wondered aloud, putting his blinker on and switching lanes.

It was our combined ninth idea for a new name for his band, something he thought would refresh the group. His hand ran over his face and he smacked his cheek, trying to keep himself awake. It was getting tougher to keep my eyes open.

"Maybe if you were some eighties hair band," I said, laughing quietly. "How about Chaotic Declaration?" I curled up into a ball, turning to face him with my cheek pressed against the back of the seat.

He thought for a moment. "Declared Chaos?" he asked, switching around the words and pulling his phone out of his pocket and handing it to me.

"Perfect," I said, taking it and texting the idea to his band mates. It only took a few minutes for them to respond and they all loved it but decided it would not be made public until Max was back in town.

"Good idea," he whispered, leaning over to quickly kiss my cheek.

"It was yours," I reminded him.

He laughed and shook his head, the last thing I saw before my eyes closed, refusing to stay open for even a second longer.

* * *

When I woke up there was moonlight streaming through another motel window. Turning away from it, I saw Max lying next to me in the bed, as always, and I pulled myself over to him, snuggling into his side. He sighed in his sleep, turning into me. I kissed his jaw before passing out again.

* * *

**Yeah, so I'll pretty much be posting every two or three days until it's done. I'm really missing my own Max, which is why I've been focusin g more on this and so much less on AOD. But that will come back soon, no worries.**

**Also, I'm sorry if this part is pretty much the same, the road trip and all, I can no longer remember what changes and what doesn't. Talk to me. -**_zoomie_**  
**


	16. Chapter 16

"Hayley."

I groaned, flipping over and burying my face in the pillow.

"Hayley. C'mon Hayley, time to wake up."

Someone was whispering in my ear.

"Hayley, I love you."

Max. Sighing, I turned onto my side, hiding my face in his t-shirt as he held me tight against him.

"C'mon Hal, I know, but we gotta get going."

His voice was low and rough from sleep, causing me to give in. I pulled away from him to stretch, squinting into the sunlight that now streamed through the window.

"Where are we going?" I asked him, crawling back across the bed to kiss the corner of his mouth. The room was warm like it is after you sleep for a long time and a radio was playing softly on the table next to the television set.

"Today I think we are off to Tulsa, Oklahoma. We won't get there until tomorrow morning," Max replied, getting off to the bed and stretching.

"When are we leaving?" I asked him as he dug through his duffel bag and came out a moment later with some clean clothes.

"Few hours," he replied, shrugging. My jaw dropped and he snickered. "Just thought I'd wake you up," he added.

When he saw I was about to get off the bed and tackle him he quickly ran into the bathroom and locked the door. A minute later I heard the shower start and I laid back on the bed, closing my eyes and listening to the music. But I could not sit still so I went over to the door and opened it, looking out across the cracked parking lot. There were only a few cars; all of them parked under the few trees spread out across the concrete. The Spicklers' suburban was not there so I figured they had all gone out to get breakfast.

I must have lost track of time because the next thing I knew someone was pulling me back into the room and closing the door. My lips spread into a smile as Max pulled me back onto the bed. The radio was off now so the only noise in the room was the bird chirping that drifted in from the outside.

As Max's lips found mine I put my hands on his bare chest, fingering the cool metal of the dog tags, and his went into my hair. He smelled like soap and shampoo as I pulled back and kissed just underneath his jaw. Teasing him again, I kissed his nose and then each corner of my mouth but he never tolerated it and this time was not any different as he caught my mouth with his. His hands slid out of my hair and his fingers brushed the hot skin underneath my t-shirt.

His fingers were inching up my back when we heard a car pull up and doors slam. He immediately got off the bed, putting a finger to his lips and turning the television on low so you could only hear it if you were in the room. Quickly, I fixed my shirt and lay back, closing my eyes and pretending to sleep.

As soon as I had evened out my breathing, he went to open the door, just as a knock sounded.

Mel and Grace started to say something but Max shushed them. I could not see what happened next but I heard whispering and rustling for a minute and then the door shut again and the television was turned off. Slowly, I opened my eyes and saw Max standing at the end of the bed. His smile was soft as he watched me and my answering smile was instant.

"They're all going to the pool and they want us to come when you're awake," he said, climbing back onto the bed and pulling me into his chest. I wrapped my arms around his middle and he kissed my hair before resting his cheek on my head, his fingers absently tangling themselves in mine.

* * *

Alternating between watching Max sleep peacefully and watching the scenery on either side of the highway go flying by, the drive from the motel into Tulsa seemed much shorter and we did not even have to stop for another bathroom or food break.

Mom whipped the car into a parking structure and we all piled out, splitting up when we got to the first intersection, agreeing to meet back at the suburban for dinner. The moms headed off south to who knows where while Jillian pulled Melanie in the direction we had been going, both of them laughing as they ran across the street. Grace walked with Max and I as we headed aimlessly around the city. Every once in a while, one of us would see an interesting looking store and we would go inside and check it out, taking our time as we looked, with nothing to rush us.

When Max went off to get us some slurpees, Grace pulled me down on the curb next to her. We were on a side street that did not allow cars and there were many people there, all on foot though a few were on bikes.

"So what do you think of road trips?" Grace asked me, leaning back and putting her hands out behind her.

I stretched my feet in front of me and watched a family of five that was walking by, the littlest girl on the father's shoulders, her eyes bright.

"I wish I had gone on more before this," I replied, grinning. Grace returned the smile, her eyes dancing.

"This summer we could," she said and then stopped herself, abruptly looking away. Sighing, I scooted closer and put my arm around her shoulder.

"Definitely," I said softly, resting my head against hers.

"Grace?" I said, after a moment of silence. She turned her head back and looked at me with red-rimmed eyes. "Thank you. For everything."

"What do you mean?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, her eyes searching my face. I pulled my arm back and looked out across the street to the other side, where a tiny coffee shop sat.

"You let me date your brother, love him, and you were still friends with me. And you were a great friend. You got used to it for my sake and went back to how we used to be. You're just amazing."

"No I'm not," she objected, shaking her head. "I never liked one minute of it up until recently."

She pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them. Frowning, she slid her eyes over to me only to find me looking back at her, incredulous.

"But you dealt with it," I insisted, turning towards her and putting my leg underneath me. "You didn't object out loud and you let us be together. And through it all, you were still my friend as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on."

We both sighed then and suddenly Grace's arms were around me. I hugged her back before pulling away to wipe away her tears. She smiled sheepishly.

"Thanks Hal," she whispered.

"What'd I miss?" Max asked loudly, walking up to us with three slurpees held precariously in his hands.

"Nothing," I said, smiling at him and taking two of the slurpees, handing one to Grace.

He smiled back at me, raising his eyebrows at Grace, who did not notice, as she took a sip. I just shook my head and he nodded, intertwining his fingers with mine.

"So where to?" he asked, leading us back to the main road. I turned around and found Grace right behind us. She grinned and linked her arm with mine, almost knocking my slurpee out of my hand.

* * *

The pain brought tears to my eyes when we stopped to check in at the motel. They spilled over and rolled silently down my cheeks as we let ourselves into our room. As soon as the door was open, I hurried inside, dropping my bag on a bed, before going into the bathroom and shutting the door.

"Hal, you okay?" Grace called through the door.

"Yes," I called back. The tears came silently with the pain, so I was not choked up.

"Well we're going to check out the pool. Meet us there, okay?" Melanie said and then I heard the door slam.

My knees hit the cold tile and I wrapped my arms around them, resting my forehead against the bathmat. The pain in my head picked up and I moaned as it caused more tears to pool in my eyes. Slowly, I rocked myself back and forth, squeezing my eyes shut against the pain.

As it reached its peak, there was a knock on the door. Without waiting for a response, Max pushed it open and he was immediately kneeling down next to me, his hand rubbing my back soothingly as I continued to rock back and forth. A moan escaped my mouth accidentally.

"Hayley, Hayley, Hayley," Max whispered and I could just picture his face. I did not want him to see me so torn apart but, like the selfish person I was, I let him stay because I needed him.

And as the pain began to subside eight minutes later, I sat up, turning to bury my face in his chest. The tears went away with the pain and at last I could stand up. Max kept a steady hand on my back as we left the bathroom. Avoiding his gaze, I fell back onto a bed and stared at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, tracing the crack that ran from the wall to the window with my eyes. The bed gave slightly as he sat down near my feet. Finally gaining the courage, or just feeding my craving, I sat up and looked at his face.

His eyes were down, seeing something beyond this room, and his forehead was creased. He was biting his bottom lip as I moved over and wrapped my arms around him. Carefully, I raised a hand and tried to smooth out the crease in his forehead, before leaning forward to kiss his cheek. He automatically turned and kissed my nose.

"Max?" I whispered, pulling back slightly to look at his eyes, though I left my arms around him. He looked at me as if just remembering I was there. I felt my own forehead crease. "Max, I'm so sorry."

This time real tears filled my eyes, and I let go of him, turning away and standing up to look out the window. Trying unsuccessfully to swallow over the lump in my throat and blink back the tears, I turned back to look at him. He leveled his eyes with mine. He did not speak so I did.

"I'm sorry, Max, I'm so sorry. I wish we hadn't met so you wouldn't have to deal with this, or see my pain, or any of that." But then I realized what I had said and I saw his eyes narrow in pain.

"No, I don't mean that!" I exclaimed urgently, walking over quickly and sitting down on his lap. Absentmindedly, he wrapped his arms around me. "I'm so glad we met, and talked, and became friends, and…" I trailed over as the lump blocked my throat.

The tears burned my eyes and I at last let them fall. As he tucked my head under his chin, I was grateful he could not see my face.

"I am so in love with you," I whispered.

He sighed.

"Hayley." I pulled back and looked at him.

"I love you more," he said and then his lips tugged up into a wry smile.

I laughed softly but it ended quickly and I placed my head back against his chest, right over his heart.

* * *

That night we went to a small restaurant that the concierge of the motel had suggested to us. It was a Mexican restaurant and when we walked in bright colors and the scent of tortilla chips greeted us.

"Hola!" the host exclaimed, grinning broadly. "Seven today? And smoking or nonsmoking?"

As we followed him to our table, Mom nudged me and nodded towards his sombrero. We hid our snickers behind our hands as we sat down, Mom on one side of me, Melanie on the other. Max plopped into the seat across from me and his foot immediately found mine under the table.

"Can I start you off with a drink, an appetizer?" the guy said, allowing his sombrero to slide off, catching it around the neck with a string that held it in place.

When he brought back our drinks, a waitress followed behind him with small baskets of tortilla chips and salsa. As soon as they were on the table, I dove in, unable to resist the smell. Halfway through my seventh chip, I glanced up to find Max looking at me with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Guiltily, I finished the chip and looked at him with wide and innocent eyes. He laughed out loud, taking my hand in his.

"Hal!" Melanie exclaimed, turning towards me. I raised my eyebrows at her, leaving my eyes wide. "Hi!" We both laughed and I let go of Max's hand to hug her.

"You make me laugh, you know that?" Her grin faded into a smile and she nodded, her eyes soft. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

She hugged me again quickly before turning to listen to Grace as she described something or other excitedly.

"What's your favorite part so far?" Mrs. Spickler asked me, as I turned back to Max. She was sitting next to him, across from Mom. All three of them turned to look at me.

"That's a hard one," I said, trying to think.

"That's what she said," Jillian shouted from Max's other side. The restaurant suddenly got really quiet before the noise picked up again. We all bent our heads, shaking with laughter. Max handed her a chip, presenting it like a gold medal.

"Good one," he said quietly, still laughing, before turning back to me. The moms did the same.

"Just seeing everything that I've missed," I said, staring out the window behind Mrs. Spickler, before adjusting my eyes and looking back at her. "It's absolutely amazing, I'm so glad we got to take this trip."

Max's foot pressed down lightly on mine underneath the table. "Me too," he said quietly as the moms went back to talking.

* * *

_As we traveled on to Texas, Hayley's pain, and more recently her weakness, became more and more evident though I could see she tried to hide it. It hurt both of us but we did our best and got through it, somehow coming out stronger time and time again._

_For once, as we traveled, Hayley was asleep with everyone else and I was awake. Her head rested on my shoulder, leaving me immobile for any upper body movements. As Mrs. Bridge changed lanes, I stretched my legs out in front of me, and rubbed them with my free arm, moving it as little as possible._

"_Max?" Mom asked quietly, turning around to look at me. Sitting back, I raised my gaze to hers in answer. "Are you hungry? There's an Arby's next exit. We'll just go through the drive-through, no need to stop."_

_She was right, we had only left an hour and a half ago, but I was starving. Nodding and giving her a lopsided grin, I turned my head and looked out the window, watching as dry fields flashed by. Texas had not gotten any rain in over a week and the results were obvious._

_Hayley shifted against me, bringing me back in the car. With a soft moan, she stiffened against my side and I immediately wrapped both arms around her, rocking her gently. She kept her eyes squeezed shut, one hand pressed to the side of her head. It was ten minutes, by the time we were pulling into the Arby's parking lot, until she at last relaxed besides me though she left her head on my shoulder and her eyes closed._

"_I want fries," she murmured, her voice scratchy from sleep. Laughing softly, I have Mrs. Bridge our order. _

_The smell wafted through the car before the to-go bag was even in our hands. Hungrily, I dug through the bag, pulling out my order and Hayley's fries, before handing the bag back to the moms so they could get their own food. And then we were off again, back on the long stretch of highway that was leading us to California.

* * *

_

_Once again, we drove through the night, trying to make it to the Texas-New Mexico border by dawn. At midnight, we pulled over for a bathroom break and again the moms crashed in the back with everyone else. This time, however, Melanie joined Hayley and I in the front seat as I pulled back onto the road. She pushed Hayley over until she was seated in the sometimes-convenient, sometimes-obnoxious middle seat and took the passenger seat._

_Again, we turned the radio on low, though Hayley and Melanie ignored it, instead talking quietly while I drove, only listening to them so I stayed awake. They had been joking around and talking about random, unimportant things until they ran out of things to say, which was highly unusual for the two of them. We only had another hour or two to go until we reached the place where we wanted to be._

"_Melanie, I really want you to understand," Hayley said suddenly, her voice so soft it was almost a whisper. My hearing was divided between her voice and this sweet song that was playing on the radio, making me drum along on the steering wheel._

"_Understand what?" Melanie asked, equally quiet. Out of the corner of my eye I could see them both staring straight ahead, though Mel was leaning up against Hayley, their heads touching._

"_I don't know what I would do without you, what I would've done without you this past year." Her voice sounded slightly forced, as though she was trying not to cry. I took one hand off the wheel and placed it on her knee. She put her hand over mine, tangling our fingers._

"_I could say the same thing to you," Melanie said, and she also sounded like she was about to cry. I had just opened my mouth to make a comment about it when Hayley spoke again._

"_Promise me something," she said to Melanie, just breathing the words, and I knew I was not meant to hear._

"_Anything," Melanie said, louder. I saw her turn and look at Hayley, her face curious, though her eyes were full of concern._

"_Don't cry when I'm gone," Hayley's voice caught as she breathed the words to Melanie and I could see the tears forming in her eyes. Whether she wanted me to hear or not, I was listening, and as I swallowed over the lump that burned in my throat, I squeezed her fingers._

"_Hal-" Melanie started to say, her voice choked._

"_No," Hayley said. "I mean it. Don't cry, okay? Go on living. I'll be in a better place, I really will. Just remember that I won't be in pain anymore, and I'll be waiting for you wherever people go when they leave this Earth. But do not cry. Promise me." She wrapped her arm around Melanie but Mel shook her head._

"_I can't," she said, her voice so soft I thought I imagined it. "I can't." _

_Glancing away from the road for a quick second I saw the tears spill down Melanie's cheeks and my eyes started to burn as Hayley's words repeated themselves in my mind._

"_Hayley," Melanie choked out. "I love you so much, you're like the third sister that I should have had. You're one of the best friends I've ever had. I can't promise you that I won't cry when you're gone. I can't."_

_The only noise the rest of the way, besides sniffles and noses being blown, was the radio as it cranked Tears in Heaven out into the otherwise silent car._

Would you hold my hand

If I saw you in Heaven

Would you help me stand

If I saw you in Heaven

* * *

_I could not remember making it to the hotel or finding a room. After the song finished playing the car went silent as the station had some difficulties. No one moved to change it. But the next thing I knew someone was kissing my ear and tangling my fingers in theirs._

"_It's too early, go back to bed," I moaned into the pillow, pulling Hayley against me._

"_Maxipad, it's noon," she replied and I could hear the smirk in her voice._

"_Yeah, Max, sheesh, get your ass out of bed," Grace said, her voice muffled. I heard the water running in the bathroom then and knew she must be taking a shower._

_Moaning and groaning some more, I rolled over and pulled Hayley's face to mine. I touched my lips to hers before holding her face an inch away from mine, staring at her beautiful eyes._

"_I love you," I said, laughing against her lips._

"_Love you too," she replied, dropping her head onto my chest.

* * *

_

_We spent the day exploring the small town we had stopped in that morning, before heading out to dinner that night. As we drove back to our rooms, Melanie pointed out a small ice cream parlor in walking distance from the motel. So once we had parked and changed into more comfortable shoes, we headed off down the sidewalk to get ice cream._

_After it was all paid for, Hayley and I left everyone else there and walked back, at last dropping down onto the wet grass behind the building that the pool was in. We leaned back against the brick wall, stretching our legs out in front of us. The wet grass soaked through my shorts and stuck to my bare legs._

"_I spy, with my little eye," Hayley started but then broke off into giggles. "Just kidding," she added when I raised an eyebrow at her._

"_You're too silly," I said, finishing off my cone and licking my fingers._

"_Then how about Truth or Dare?" Hayley asked, slurping the ice cream that had melted into the bottom of her waffle cone. Laughing at her, I shook my head._

"_No way."_

"_Last letter, first letter?"_

"_No."_

_Hayley turned and gave me a puppy dog face, which was quite the sight as her tongue was in her ice cream cone. I bit back a smile and looked out across the grass to the street that was on the other side. The streetlight hummed continuously, bathing the sidewalk below it in orange. Hayley and I sat in a shadow, and little by little, as it got darker, I could not see the grass a few feet in front of us anymore._

_As Hayley opened her mouth to say something else we heard laughter and loud talking. Quickly, before she said anything, I put a finger to her lips to shush her as our family walked by only a hundred some yards away from us. But since it was getting darker, they could not see us if they even bothered to look. When they disappeared behind the corner of the building Hayley kissed my finger and I moved it away to brush back her hair._

_Even in the darkness I could see her eyes shining as she turned to look at me, her ice cream finally finished. She had no make-up on and her hair was slightly messy, but she looked beautiful._

"_Truth or Dare," she said again. I sighed and turned away, looking back at that orange streetlight. "Want to go first?"_

"_Fine," I sighed. "Truth." I had always hated Dare, from when I first played the game in second grade. Because no matter what, you always had to do it, but with Truth, you could always lie._

"_Why me?" As Hayley spoke the words, something hit my gut, because I knew she would ask it but I still was not prepared. "You had half the girl population at our school lined up to go out with you. And I'm just a sophomore, your kid sisters' best friend. I don't get it." _

_I just looked at her for a long moment. Her innocent eyes stared back at me, wide with vulnerability and honesty. Leaning forward, I bent to kiss her but she shoved me back._

"_Max really," she said, still looking at me the same way. As I felt my expression soften, I kissed her on the nose quick anyway. And then I looked her straight in the eyes.

* * *

_

Our splashes echoed around the high-ceilinged building as we laughed and chased each other through the water, though the only thing I heard was 'You set me free', echoed over and over again. It was an answer I had somehow felt in my gut, that strange connection Max and I had always seemed to have, though at the same time I was caught off guard when Max said the words. However, I could no longer keep the smile off my face. It was funny, because while he had been the one to say those four words, I suddenly felt as free as a bird.

Just as I had gotten out to run and do a cannonball on top of Max, a blonde guy in a polo and khakis came in and told us the pool was closing. I looked at Max and saw him getting out of the pool to go talk to the guy. He whispered to him for a few minutes until the guy looked at me, nodded, and left.

As soon as Max was back in the pool, I jumped in, missing him by only a few inches. When I surfaced he was still wiping the water of his eyes.

"What'd you tell him?" I asked as soon as he opened his eyes to glare at me. Treading water so much was making me tired.

"Nothing," Max replied, smirking. He reached for me and I started to swim towards him but then he dunked me under. Kicking and hitting him after a minute worked and he let me back up for some air. My legs were beginning to give out underneath me, but I ignored them.

"Really, Maxi, what did you tell him?"

I was genuinely curious now, especially since he would not tell me. Through the large windows I could see the motel worker now heading across the parking lot to the office.

"That you had insomnia and it was either let us stay in the pool a few more hours or you would be walking around in circles in the parking lot, singing lullabies loudly to help you fall asleep."

By the time he finished he was laughing, shaking the water around us. Though I was laughing just as hard, I slapped him.

"Max Spickler!" I exclaimed, my voice echoing. "That was brilliant," I added in a whisper. He grinned and moved toward me just as my legs gave out.

Laughing the entire time, Max dragged me over to the shallow end where I could stand. I turned away from him, looking out the window.

"Hey," he said softly, taking my chin in his hand. "That's why," he said, and kissed me.

* * *

The next day, after going out for breakfast, we got back onto the freeway and made our way to New Mexico.

"We're going to hit Santa Fe and Albuquerque in one day and then stop a little outside of Albuquerque to rest up. We should be to California by sundown tomorrow." Mrs. Spickler grinned at us while Mom traced the route on the map.

"How about we skip all that and go straight to California," Jillian suggested from the back of the car.

"How about you just go to sleep," Mrs. Spickler said. "You're going to need to be rested up so we can spend all day sightseeing."

Everyone obliged, even me, as we headed out.

We had just stopped at a rest area when my head started to hurt. I walked back outside and sat down on a bench, putting my head between my knees as I clutched it, willing the pain to go away. Max came out and sat next to me, rubbing my back.

The pain reached its peak, worse than before, and I looked up at Max for reasons unknown. But as his gaze met mine, everything started to get fuzzy and really bright.

* * *

The next thing I knew, I was on my back in the suburban with my head near the open door, staring up at everyone's faces. Mom was smoothing my hair off my face, and Mrs. Spickler was standing by with a water bottle. Max was wringing his hands, looking out at the freeway just as I opened my eyes. I did not know where Melanie and Grace were, but I could see Jillian in the back seat, peering over it at me.

"Oh my Lord, Hayley, oh my gosh," Mom exclaimed, and bent down to kiss my cheek with gratitude.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're okay," Jillian said, sighing with relief.

"Hayley, Hayley are you hurt? How's your head? Should we go to the hospital? Call an ambulance?"

"Mom!" I exclaimed to stop her, and I saw Max glance at me for the first time. It only took a second for him to hide the pain in his eyes and then he smirked at me.

"Way to be, Bridge, scare us all to death," he said, and though no one else could detect it, I heard his voice shake.

"Hayley, are you sure you don't need anything?" Mrs. Spickler asked me, holding out the water bottle. I sat up and shook my head.

"I'm fine guys, really. Don't worry about it," I said, leaning back against the seat as my head swirled around. Sat up too fast.

"Hayley, you fainted!" Mom said, like I did not know.

"I know that!" I told her, finally taking the water bottle from Mrs. Spickler and downing half of it before Mom could say anything else.

"I'm fine. Really. Let's get on to New Mexico!"

I tried to smile at them but they all had to force it back. Sighing, I pulled Max in, finally seeing that Melanie and Grace were already in the car, and buckled my seatbelt.

"Well?" I asked. "Are we going to do Santa Fe and Albuquerque in one day or what?"

That got them going and soon we were back on the road, the conversation slowly picking up. When it had reached a comfortable level, I leaned into Max's ear.

"How long was I out for?" I asked him quietly.

"Just long enough for us to get you in the car and start to worry," he replied and put an arm around me. Sighing, I rested my head against his and stared at the road ahead of us.

* * *

_Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I thought. In fact, I was chanting it in my head. As soon as Hayley fell to the ground, I shouted out, and soon two guys not much older than me were there, helping me carry her over to the suburban. And then suddenly Mom and Mrs. Bridge were there. And then my sisters and soon everyone was wringing their hands, not knowing what to do._

_Oh my God, I thought again. What if she didn't wake up? What if she was already gone? I was too much in shock to cry, or even think about crying. All I could do, all anyone could do, was just stand there over Hayley with the doors wide open. After what seemed like a long time, Mom moved to get her water bottle out of the front seat though I was not sure whether it was to wake Hayley up or for her to drink if-when, I corrected myself- she did wake up._

_I was not ready for her to go yet. I thought we had had more warning. But she was not waking up, she was just lying there motionless. And then Jillian moved forward and put her ear against Hayley's chest._

"_Oh!" Mrs. Bridge gasped, as if a light bulb just went off. "Somebody call an ambulance!"_

_Grace had just pulled out her phone to do so when Hayley moaned and then opened her eyes. I had not seen it though, as I had been watching cars racing by, people going on with their daily lives._

"_Oh my lord, Hayley!" I heard Mrs. Bridge exclaim and my head whipped around so fast I heard my neck crack. When I saw her open eyes and half smirk I almost fainted myself and I had to swallow hard over that damned lump._

_It took a few minutes but Hayley at last convinced us she was fine and then we were on the road again._

_Protectively, I pulled her against me as Mom pulled back out onto the freeway. I had to work hard to make sure I did not squeeze her arm too hard but I never wanted to let go again. This was only the beginning, a small part of my brain told me solemnly. The worst was yet to come.

* * *

_**Sorry! I meant to update sooner. Tell me what you're thinking. Again, I can't remember what's new and what's not.. -**_zoomie_**  
**


	17. Chapter 17

_My jaw fell open as we rose over a lone hill in the freeway and suddenly a thousand hot air balloons filled the sky of all different sizes and colors. Beside me, Hayley and Melanie gasped._

"_Wow!" Mrs. Bridge breathed. "Would you look at that!"_

"_Isn't that just gorgeous?" Mom exclaimed, starting to swerve out of the lane as she stared, entranced, at the sky._

"_Mom!" Jillian blurted from the backseat. "Eyes on the road! We'll watch the sky for you." _

_We laughed as Mom straightened out the suburban with a sigh. As we flew down the freeway, I spotted a sign and pointed it out and the next thing I knew we were pulling off on an exit and onto the grounds of the hot air balloon show._

"_Pit stop!" Mom shouted as we all piled out of the car and onto the straw-like grass of the field. _

_The hot air balloons floated high above us and the rest of the audience as we all stared up at them with admiration. There were a few still on the ground as we began walking around and Hayley grabbed my hand in hers, pulling me over to a stationary purple, gold, and blue balloon. The basket was so tall, I had to stand on my tiptoes to see inside of it. Hayley was struggling to see, so I put her on my back and gave her a piggyback around to where the basket dipped down a little bit. I could feel her heart beating excitedly against my back as I carried her to the next balloon._

_As we reached the last grounded balloon I let Hayley slide off my back. Turning to say something, I stopped and watched her face. Admiration outlined her features as she stared, taking everything in. The life shining in her eyes was so incredible it was almost overpowering._

_Slowly, I moved toward her, wrapping my arms around her waist. She touched her forehead to mine so all I could see were her eyes, her pupils taking over the beautiful blue. At that moment I was willing to do anything to get Hayley up in a hot air balloon but I could only feel the disappointment settle in my chest as I knew there was no way. With a quiet sigh, I kissed her.

* * *

_

"_Girls, just leave him alone." Mom said, as her fingers traced along the map. _

_We were sitting in a restaurant just outside of Albuquerque and Melanie and Jillian had been bugging me about nothing in particular. We would drive now until we reached the Pacific Ocean._

_Grace shoved a few more fries into her mouth, laughing as I dropped my head into my hands. Jillian sucked down the rest of her milkshake, leaning forward to poke me with the straw. Hayley turned to give me a wry smile, taking my hand in hers underneath the table. I wove my fingers into hers, allowing our entangled hands to rest on her lap. I smirked as I finished off my burger and took a sip of Melanie's milkshake. She swatted my hand._

"_I've never eaten so much," Hayley groaned, downing her glass of water. She stretched her arm out, picking up a fry and using it to smear ketchup across her dish._

"_Don't play with you food," I whispered into her ear, laughing, as everyone else listened to Mrs. Bridge and Mom discuss California. Hayley laughed too, pulling her arm away and then I saw what she had been doing. In ketchup she had written 'I love you' with a goofy smiley face._

"_I love you too," I told her, squeezing her fingers as I kissed her.

* * *

_

"Hayley, wake up," someone whispered in my ear excitedly.

I shook my head, trying to stay in the dream I had been having. It was a good dream. Max and I had been up in a hot air balloon and we were floating away, off to California in the sky, waving goodbye to all our family and friends.

"Hayley, c'mon, you have to see this!" someone whispered in my other ear.

"No," I moaned, continuing to wave goodbye to the tiny ant people on the ground. They looked so small down there and the sky looked so big.

"Hayley!" someone exclaimed, shaking my shoulders gently. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes. And promptly gasped.

The Pacific Ocean was stretched out before us in all its beautiful shining glory as we rose up and over a hill. The sun was just setting, dipping below the horizon and bathing the world in a gorgeous orange-y pink glow. Huge waves rolled into the shore, carrying the die-hard surfers effortlessly.

"Oh my-"

"Gosh, it's-"

"Beautiful." Mom finished for us.

"Remarkable," Mrs. Spickler said.

"Phenomenal," Grace suggested.

"Extraordinary," Jillian added.

"Perfect," I said, leaning into Max as we drove straight towards the beach.

Now I was glad we had stopped a few hours ago to put our bathing suits on underneath our clothes. As soon as the tires hit the sand, we were all jumping out and sprinting towards the sparkling water, laughing and shouting. As we ran, dodging the few people left on the beach, we stripped our clothes off, not bothering to stop. When my feet touched the water, I bent forward and dove into a wave, coming up a few feet out from the shore, right next to Melanie and Max.

"Was it worth it?" Max asked me and I saw Melanie look at me, waiting for my answer.

"Yes," I replied, closing my eyes and letting myself sink underneath another wave.

* * *

Hunger took over before the sun could finish setting and soon we were all pulling ourselves out of the ocean and drying off. Sand stuck to our wet feet as we walked across the beach to the car. Max came up behind me, whipping me only once with his towel, but starting a fight that lasted ten minutes, with all seven of us attacking each other while trying to avoid the other beach-goers.

"Okay, okay!" Mrs. Spickler exclaimed at last, panting. We were all out of breath and covered in sand. My stomach grumbled with hunger.

"Get your clothes, guys, I'm hungry," Mom said, heading back towards the car with Mrs. Spickler. Hurriedly, we ran back to where our clothes lay in a pile and threw them on over our wet and sandy bathing suits.

Max grabbed my hand and started pulling me back to the car so I reached out quickly and grabbed Melanie's hand, who then grabbed Jillian's hand. As we ran across the beach, laughing and giggling, Jillian grabbed Grace's hand.

"Let's go, goofballs, climb in," Mrs. Spickler said through her open window. Pushing and shoving, we managed to all get in and get the doors closed before the suburban whipped out of the parking lot, heading towards a restaurant that someone on the beach had mentioned to us.

* * *

"We made it," I told the phone in my hand.

"All the way to California!" Patrick exclaimed, his voice crackling over the distance.

"It's so beautiful, I wish you could see it," I said softly, staring out at the sunset that was painted over the ocean.

The restaurant had an hour-long wait so I had decided to call home. Max sat on the bench behind me as I paced back and forth on the sidewalk that went through the small beach across from the restaurant. When his eyes met mine, he grinned goofily and I pressed my hand to my mouth to keep from laughing.

"And how are you?" Patrick asked, his voice quieter now so I could barely hear him over the noise of the surf and the cars that sped by. I knew what he meant, but I avoided the question.

"How's Julia doing? You guys still lasting?"

"Yea, she's fantastic. She's actually in the next room, watching television. But Hal, seriously. Did something happen?" His voice, filled with concern, broke off abruptly.

"No," I lied, crossing my fingers on my free hand. "It hurts but I'm surviving."

"Do more than survive," Patrick replied and I looked away from Max before he saw my expression change.

"Is Dad there?" I asked, controlling myself before walking over to sit next to Max. He poked me in the ribs and, laughing, I swatted his hand away.

"Yeah, I'll get him. Call me when you guys get closer to home, I love you Hal."

"Love you too Patrick, bye."

"Hayley? How are you?" Dad's voice crackled excitedly through the phone as Max leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"I'm doing fine, how are you? How's home?" I asked, resting my head against Max's shoulder. Jillian sat on the curb with Grace a few feet away from us, seeing who could skip a rock farther across the parking lot. Melanie, the judge, was standing a couple feet out from them. I was not exactly sure where the moms had gone.

"I'm doing fine, home is fine. How's your mother?" His voice was quiet and smooth like I remembered it and for a quick second I got home sick. But as soon as it had appeared it went away and I kissed Max quickly before answering.

"She's doing good, she seems really happy. Do you want to talk to her?" I stood up and turned around, searching through the other people that were milling around outside waiting to be seated. Max hit my arm and pointed towards the other side of the building where she sat with Mrs. Spickler, sharing a bottle of water.

Quickly, I took the phone over before coming back and pulling Max over to the curb next to Grace.

"How much longer?" I asked her, picking up my own rock. It went further than all the others did and Melanie shook her head, laughing.

"Ten minutes," Jillian replied, making an 'oof' noise as she tried to hurl her rock past mine, to no avail. Max's stomach grumbled next to mine and I laughed, patting it. He grabbed my hand, pulling it away from him and intertwining his fingers with mine.

"Oh save it for the hotel room," Jillian muttered, smirking. My jaw dropped so low I thought it would hit the pavement.

"I'm giving you two seconds," Max said, and then he had pulled his hand away from mine and jumped up.

Jillian screamed silently before jumping up and running off into the depths of the parking lot. Max followed, hot on her trail and we heard laughs and shouts for a few minutes before Max reappeared, pretending to brush his clothes off. When he reached us, he stopped and bowed.

"You're welcome. She's gone for good," he said calmly, just as Jillian reappeared and charged him, jumping on his back.

"Guys! Guys, c'mon!" Mrs. Spickler scolded, but then pointed toward the door. "They called our name."

* * *

What Ifs ran through my head repeatedly as the sky was painted a thousand different brilliant colors. It felt like double vision as they reflected off the ocean, creating the California scene that everyone dreams about. Absently, my eyes slid down to the beach, where young couples walked hand in hand, whispering their secrets to each other.

My heart beat strong and steady in my ear and I listened to it with more concentration than usual. It was tough to imagine that one day I would never hear this sound again, that one day I may never even realize that I used to be alive and happy. And I was happy, despite everything, because I was spending my last days on this Earth with the people I loved.

But even as I thought this, those What Ifs and If Onlys ran through my head like it was their job. If I had never gotten diagnosed with this I would have learned how to drive, and I would celebrate my sweet sixteen. I would graduate high school, maybe even get married one day.

Suddenly, a picture of that blue Victorian home we had passed on the road popped into my head. My eyes stung for only a quick second before I blinked them back and swallowed firmly over the lump in my throat. No, I thought, this is the hand I was dealt and I am just going to live with it. Live with it…I sighed loudly at the irony, leaning forward onto the banister of the hotel room balcony. Completely lost in thought, my eyes traced the lines of the clouds, the white caps on the waves. My mind wandered as I briefly allowed myself to imagine that I was not sick, that I would live my life until a ripe old age.

"Hayley?" Mom's voice was almost a whisper, though it broke through my reverie like a cannonball. Startled, I jumped back from the banister, my heart racing. Mom laughed, closing the short distance of balcony to give me a hug.

"Sorry about that," she murmured, her voice reverberating through her body. Breathing in her scent, the motherly scent I had smelled for fifteen years of lilacs and Keri lotion, my arms automatically tightened around her.

"I love you, Mommy," I whispered into the thin fabric of her t-shirt. It was a brand new one that she had just bought today when we had gone into the small town we were in to shop. She had been so excited to get it because it had a thread family on it, and one of the children had red hair.

"I love you too, Hayley Bean," she replied.

"You haven't called me that in forever," I said bluntly, shocked. It had been my nickname when I was younger, when Grandpa had still been around. He may have even been the one to give it to me.

Mom laughed again. "It's long overdue."

Silence came over us for a few minutes, as Mom followed my gaze to the changing sunset, the colors fading from pink and purple to orange and gold. Again, I listened steadily to my heartbeat, wondering somewhat morbidly when it might finally stop.

"It's such a beautiful sound," Mom said softly and I choked, covering it with a cough.

"Wh-what?" I stammered, looking at her out of the corner of my eye.

"The ocean, the sound of the waves," she replied and I let out a silent breath of relief.

"It's really calming," I said, leaning forward again onto the banister. No sooner than they had disappeared, the What Ifs were back and this time the lump pushed roughly against my throat.

"Mom?" I whispered, turning to look at her as salt stung my eyes. Blinking them back rapidly, I watched as she turned to look at me, all the lines in her face smoothed out for the first time in a long time.

"Yes?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"I-uh, you look really beautiful tonight," I choked out, biting my lip.

"Well thank you, Hayley, so do you." Her smile widened and she squeezed my arm.

"Mom, I'm scared," I blurted out suddenly, without thinking. It was the first time I had said it out loud. And as soon as the words were out, the tears were spilling over and my body was shaking, my voice ringing with the words of a five-year-old at the edge of a pool. "I'm so scared, Mommy."

"Oh Hayley," Mom whispered, instantly moving over and wrapping her arms around me. I felt her own hot tears splatter onto my bare shoulder. "It won't hurt, you won't even know," she choked, lying through the depression that had come over us so suddenly.

"Not of dying Mom," I said softly, not wanting anyone back in the room to hear. Their muffled laughter drifted through the doorway suddenly, and my heart squeezed.

"I'm not scared of leaving this place," I said more firmly, blinking back the tears and taking a step back out of her arms to look at her red, swollen eyes. "I'm scared of what I'll leave behind."

_Mrs. Bridge stepped back through the sliding door, attempting to wipe her eyes conspicuously which worked for the most part as everyone else was concentrating on whatever Mom was trying to act out for our game of charades. Behind her, I could see Hayley's back, her red hair blowing in the gentle breeze that came off the Pacific. As I was about to look away, her hand moved up to her face, making me wonder what her and her mom had been talking about. My eyes met Mrs. Bridge's then and she smiled wryly, wiping her eyes again before coming to sit next to me on the couch._

"_Train!" Jillian called and I was brought back to the present as Mrs. Bridge took a deep breath and patted my knee, smiling._

"_No, it's not a train, stupid!" Melanie exclaimed, her eyes narrowed as she tried to figure it out. "I know!" she cried suddenly._

"_It's alphabet soup," Grace said calmly, before Melanie could finish._

"_Well how random is that?" Jillian retorted indignantly._

"_Well, it's your turn now anyway," Mom said, pulling Jillian up and stealing her seat._

_As Jillian picked a piece of paper out of the jar and read it, I stood up, giving Mrs. Bridge a quick hug on the way, before walking through everyone to the door. _

_Hayley turned around when the door squelched shut behind me. Her beautiful eyes were rimmed in a fading pink color but she smiled at me. "Hi," she said softly, coming over to me._

_My arms went around her immediately and I rested my chin on top of her head. She was shaking slightly as our hearts found the same rhythm._

"_You okay?" I asked, touching my forehead to hers and kissing her nose. She nodded against me, pressing her lips together and closing her eyes. We both took a deep breath at the same time but mine was cut short as I laughed quietly._

"_Want to go to the beach?" Hayley suggested, pulling my hands around in front of her and tangling our fingers. Nodding, I led her back inside and past the charades game, waving to Mrs. Bridge as we walked out the door.

* * *

_

"_I never said thank you for that, now I'll never have a chance," I sang softly into the dying sunset. My voice was off key and cracking and Hayley giggled quietly, her arms wrapped tightly around me. "May angels lead you in, hear you me my friends."_

"_On sleepless roads the sleepless go, may angels lead you in," Hayley interjected before I could go on. Her voice was not bad, quiet and delicate, just the smallest bit off key. I smiled, my throat tight, before continuing._

"_So what would you think of me now, so lucky, so strong, so proud?" _

_I allowed her to play with my fingers as my voice went on cracking its way through the song. She matched them to hers just like she had done that night so long ago in August. It got quiet and I realized I had stopped singing._

"_I love you," I whispered into her ear. She turned her head, smiling with her eyes, and kissed me lightly on the lips._

"_I love you too," she whispered back, her eyes twinkling with an indescribable emotion. "Continue," she added after a moment. In my mind, I skipped through all the music and lyrics to the lines I had been aiming for since the beginning. My arms tightened around her as I found my off-key voice again._

"_And if you were with me tonight, I'd sing to you just one more time. A song for a heart so big," I sang, my voice stopping abruptly. Hot tears stung my cheeks, falling onto Hayley's thin fingers as I half whispered the last words. "God couldn't let it live."_

_Hayley pulled me up with her, crossing her legs on the cooling sand. The last light of the sunset fell across her face, brightening her eyes. Moving closer to me, she wiped my eyes with her thumbs, kissing the corner of one where another tear threatened to fall. Her own eyes were shining as she moved into my arms and pressed her cheek against my chest._

_Burying my face in her hair, I breathed in the scent that followed her around, the one I would always remember._


	18. Chapter 18

"_Last day in Cali, what're we doing?" Mom asked excitedly the next morning as we sat around the table on the balcony. _

_We were eating these funky pastries that the banquet hall in the hotel had had. Grace licked the powder off her fingers, sticking them in Melanie's face._

"_Cut it out!" Melanie exclaimed, slapping them away and laughing as Grace's hand flew into her bowl of cereal. _

_I snorted and she lifted her hand out of the bowl, flicking the milk on her fingers at me. Using my napkin, I wiped it off before wadding the paper up and chucking it at Jillian who was eating quietly. However, it bounced off her forehead, landing in Mom's glass of orange juice. We all broke off into laughter, Hayley laughing so hard that she snorted, which sent us in near hysterics. I half expected room service to knock on our door and tell us to quiet down but no one came as we all managed to shrink it to grins._

"_Who's trying to play footsie with me under the table?" Mrs. Bridge asked after a moment of silence. _

_Bowing my head, I snorted into my bowl, my shoulders shaking with laughter as I tried to hide my red face. Around me, I could hear everyone else laughing as I at last raised my face, trying to make the blush go away._

"_Really, Jillian, you should keep your feet to yourself," I exclaimed, flicking the milk on my spoon at her. She sneered at me, holding up her hand to block her face._

"_You're pathetic," she replied, still sneering though her face was all red from laughing._

"_Yes, yes he is," Mom said, her shoulders still shaking. I caught Hayley's eye and had to press my lips together to keep from laughing again._

"_Back on topic," Grace interjected quickly, pushing herself back from the table and placing her hands on her stomach. We were all stuffed and ready to explode._

"_It doesn't really matter what we do as long as we don't have to move for a few hours," Melanie said, rubbing her belly. Hayley and I laughed, moving our chairs back at the same time. She glanced at me, a smile on her face as she pushed her hair out of her eyes._

"_I just want to spend my day on the beach," Jillian said._

"_Sounds like a plan to me," Hayley seconded, stretching against the back of the chair. The early morning sun lit up her red hair as she closed her eyes against it. Mom looked at me and I nodded in agreement with the girls. Grace also nodded._

"_Well, we are heading into town but we'll meet you on the beach after lunch," Mrs. Bridge said, standing up to clear the table. Mom stood up to help her carry everything back into the room._

"_Day without the parentals, where do we start?" Melanie said immediately after the door closed. _

_She winked at me but I just shook my head and headed back into the room. The carpet was cool beneath my toes and it took me a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dimmer lighting. As I walked by the second room of our suite where the small kitchen was to get to my bedroom, I overheard something I knew I was never supposed to know._

"_She's scared, Joan," Mrs. Bridge told Mom and it took a second for me to realize who she was talking about. "She told me last night. She's scared silly." My feet froze on the carpet as I heard her voice shake and Mom's low soothing voice in response._

"_Of what?" Mom asked gently as my feet suddenly carried me forward again before I could hear anything else. _

_The pillow came at my face quickly as I let myself fall onto the bed. Motionless and silent, I laid there for a few minutes, just turning the words over in my mind. Hayley had never told me she was scared, I had never even considered the fact that she might be. But what was she scared of? Dying? Or was there something else I did not know about?_

_It was not more than a minute later when I heard quiet footsteps and a creak as the bedroom door opened. Keeping my face in my pillow, I counted in my head, one, two, until the bed gave slightly by my waist. A hand touched my back, the fingers tracing random patterns and leaving warmth behind._

"_Max," Hayley whispered after a couple minutes. I did not move, silently willing her to keep going._

"_Max guess what?"_

_When I at last turned my head she had stopped tracing and had moved so her face was only a couple inches from mine. "What?" I whispered._

"_We are in California," she replied, shifting until all I could see were her eyes. "And I love you."_

_When my lips touched hers I realized it hadn't even been a conscious decision._

"_I love you too," I said quietly.

* * *

_

My heart felt like it was about to burst as I watched the view of the ocean fade away from me forever. Goodbye California, I thought, as Mrs. Spickler carefully maneuvered the suburban back onto Route 66. Max and I were sitting in the very back for once, as I sat turned around, staring out the back window. He was holding my hand gently, playing with my fingers, kissing just underneath my ear.

I could still see the waves as we rose up and over hills and wove between the trees. The sunset was painted red and orange in the sky, welcoming people that were just arriving in this place of dreams. The smell of the sea and the sand still filled my nostrils as the last view of the ocean died away and I felt Max's lips on my ear.

"We'll be back," he breathed, so certain. His hand was warm against mine, our hands fitting so perfectly together. "We will."

* * *

The drive home was short, as though the universe knew I never wanted the trip to end and it was taunting me. Before I knew it, we were pulling into the Spicklers' driveway, sweatshirts being put back on as we got a fresh view of the snow we had left behind a week and a half ago. A week and a half ago…it had seemed like a lifetime, but a lifetime not long enough.

All my days seemed shorter now, as I subconsciously prepared myself for when I would not see a day again. The sun rose too early and set too soon, leaving me each night with a sense that I had forgotten to do something or say something important.

My reverie was broken as Grace handed me a bin full of leftover food to lug back in the house. She followed behind me, occasionally accidentally-on-purpose bumping me with her own plastic bin. Laughing, we stacked them up in the kitchen before going back for more, passing Mom and Jillian on the way.

Within ten minutes we were done and collapsed on the couch and floor in the family room. Melanie was sitting cross-legged, playing with Stevie who had been overjoyed to see we were all home again. His tail was going so fast that Jillian said it would fly off.

"Well, Hayley, let's get going home, okay? Dad and Patrick are anxious to see you," Mom said after a few more minutes, standing up and stretching.

She hugged everyone goodbye before grabbing our suitcases and heading out to the garage where we had parked before the trip. Slowly, I stood up, ignoring the jab in my head as I also hugged everyone goodbye, giving Stevie a pat on the head as I walked to the door. As I slipped my shoes on, I felt something hit my back- one of Stevie's toys- and turned to see Max grinning.

'I love you,' he mouthed.

* * *

Going back to school had been tough but after the first week I got back into the groove of things with little complaint. Walking through the halls of my classmates felt strange, knowing that they were unaware I would be leaving in just a few short weeks, months if I was lucky.

It was now the middle of March, which meant softball was starting, tryouts for the newbies and practice for the veterans. And, after many long talks with numerous people including my doctor, I had decided to play this year. After all, besides for my family and the Spicklers, it was the one thing that kept me going. Plus, the only reason Mom was letting me play, the doctor believed that it would help me gain a little more time.

And the first few weeks were simple, leading into April. My team, along with the rest of the school, was unaware of what was going on in the inside. But in April it started getting worse, my head hurting almost every hour of every day, and nausea starting to set in with it. I even spent one week in the hospital, while they tried to figure out if surgery would help, Max and Grace leading the school to believe I just had the flu.

Every time I saw Max there was a crease in his forehead, a strange look in his reddened, tight eyes. He hugged me more fervently, kissed me longer, whispered I love you with everything he had. And I was doing the same in return, though I knew he would suffer more; he was the one being left behind.

"Hayley?"

The grass rustled as someone sat down next to me. Wiping my eyes quickly, I fought to stop the flow of tears. The sun was bright in the blue sky, warming every inch of my bare skin.

"Hayley," Mrs. Spickler said again, putting her hand soothingly on my head. I sat up and she moved it around my shoulders, pulling me against her like my own mother always did. "It's going to be all right," she said softly.

Against her shoulder, I shook my head. While Melanie and Grace had gone over to the neighbors' for a minute to straighten out a babysitting job I had been lying in their backyard, thinking. My life had literally been flashing before my eyes.

"Yes, Hayley, yes it is. Be strong, sweetie, you are so strong." She paused before abruptly changing course. "You know how much Max loves you? I bet you don't," she said, answering her own question before I could protest. "It is so obvious in the way he looks at you and the way you look at him, anyone could see it. He cares about you too much to let you go and dammit, if there were a God he would not take such a sweet girl away from that poor boy. Or any of us for that matter. You have done so much for him, it's like watching a miracle walk through my home day after day. It's like…" Here she stopped, cutting herself off and I heard her sniffle. It was the first time I ever saw Mrs. Spickler cry. I put my own arm around her waist, half-hugging her as she took a deep breath.

"It's like losing my own daughter," she said at last.

* * *

_Hayley was over with my sisters, and so even though we were all getting along now, I still followed the old rules and left the house. Unaware of exactly where I was guiding the van, I was not too shocked when I ended up at the Dairy Queen that had just opened up the week before in response to the unusually warm weather._

_I had just bought a large chocolate cone when someone said my name._

"_Hey Mrs. Bridge!" I said, turning around and smiling._

"_How are you, sweetie?" she asked, licking quickly around the base of her small vanilla cone where it was beginning to melt. I looked over her shoulder but found her to be alone._

"_I'm doing okay, and you?" I asked. _

_My voice had gotten lower and I felt my forehead wrinkle like it now did constantly. She shrugged and I gave her a hug, both of us keeping our cones out to the side._

"_She loves you a lot you know," she said suddenly, as we stood there on the side of the building licking our cones. "And I can tell you love her just as much in return." I looked at her, a drop of ice cream sneakily escaping from the cone onto my wrist._

"_Anyone could see it in your eyes when you look at her, or the way you two gravitate around each other, like there is some magnetic pull." _

_I almost choked on my ice cream but then faked a cough. There had always seemed to be a pull between Hayley and I though I had never known how to describe it to anyone, not even myself._

"_I do love her," I said after a moment. "That's why it's so hard to stay strong." _

_My voice faded at the end and I looked away from Mrs. Bridge but she touched my arm, forcing me to look back at her. Her own eyes had filled with tears but when she spoke her voice was clear._

"_You have done so well, Max, so well. Better than any one of us had guessed you would. Thank you. For everything you've done for her, because it has all effected us too. I love you like my own son, Max, just like Patrick. And when she's..." her voice trailed off as she regained her composure, both of our cones fully melted on our hands. "You still come visit, stop and say hello, because while I will always love her, I'll always love you too." _

_My throat was tight as I tossed my cone onto the ground and gave Mrs. Bridge another hug before she smiled and left me standing against the chipped white wall of the Dairy Queen, with too much on my mind for any normal eighteen year old boy.

* * *

_

My eyes stayed glued to my shoes as I walked through the halls to class the following week. Prom posters and announcements about graduation plastered the wall and it took all my will power to eliminate the lump in my throat. The guilt hung heavy over my head as I realized that Max would not be able to do the usual senior-like activities, like prom, because of me. And that guilt deepened when I realized that he could still go to prom but I was too selfish to tell him that.

As I sat in third period that day, I could not stop thinking about the posters, bright and colorful, telling you to 'Buy tickets now before it's too late!'. I had been counting on my classes to take my mind off of things but now Ms. Baker was giving us our assignment that would be due the next week. (I realized that the only reason I kept up with assignments was because it made life seem normal, as though my grades would actually matter in the end).

"So by the end of next week I want a five-page, single-spaced paper on the research you have done for the career you want to go into. I want interviews from people in this profession or people that guide others into the profession. Tell me why this profession interests you and how you hope to achieve this goal. Tell me who inspired you."

The classroom started to buzz as everyone discussed their project with one another but all I noticed was the way my desk blurred in front of me. Standing up slowly, I walked over to Ms. Baker's desk, a hand gently rubbing my head.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked, allowing my hand to drop.

There must have been something wrong with my expression as Ms. Baker's eyebrows knitted together with concern and she immediately nodded. I raced out of the room and down the stairs, headed towards the bathrooms in the main hall. Barely able to see in front of myself, I almost screamed when I ran into someone, their arms wrapping around me.

"Hayley?" Will's voice was in my ear and I felt him pull me down the hall. "Hayley it's okay, it is."

And then his arms left and a more familiar pair tightened around me.

"Hayley, what happened?" Max asked urgently, sitting me down on a bench in the back hallway for the art room. He kept his arms in a death grip around me, kissing my hair and whispering soothing words.

But as I tried to calm myself down, all I could think about was those posters. Those stupid prom posters, and that project just assigned. What career did I want to go into? My life had turned into a joke but I was not sure who the comedian was.

* * *

_Quickly, I cut the engine and jumped out of the van. The side door by the garage was unlocked and I pushed through it, kicking off my shoes as I shoved open the door that led into the house. No one but Hayley was home and it only took me two seconds to get up to her room and gently push open the door. She was curled in a ball on her bed, the shades drawn with only a crack of sunshine escaping through._

_As I stepped into the room she made no move to acknowledge my presence. Quietly, I walked over to her bed, the carpet muffling my heavy footsteps. When I sat down on the edge she turned her tear-streaked face towards me. Hayley's eyes were tight with pain but she managed to smile genuinely at me._

"_Hey Maxipad," she whispered through clenched teeth._

"_Come on," I said softly, pulling her into a sitting position. _

_For a minute I just let her sit there, leaning against my side and at last her face relaxed and she hugged me. Kissing her temple, I pulled her up and led her out of the room, tossing her a pair of flip-flops on the way out the door._

"_Twisted Sister or the Go-Go's?" she asked, sliding into the passenger seat. I shot her a look and she laughed. "Just thought I'd try." _

_Twisted Sister blasted through the speakers suddenly as we pulled out of the driveway but I just turned it up louder. It was like we were on our way to Bob Evans for our first date all over again as I squealed onto the main road, Hayley and I both shouting the lyrics to the song and banging the beat on our legs and the dashboard. Despite the real circumstances, I could not keep the smile off my face for the life of me, as I swung into the back parking lot of the school, the one that was right next to the softball diamond._

_Hayley said nothing as she climbed out of the car and walked slowly to the middle of the field, her second home. Her eyes were wide, taking everything in as I sat down on the dirt and leaned against the fence that ran along the first base line. Even from where I was at I could see Hayley take in a deep breath, smelling the dirt-and-leather smell of softball. The smell had grown on me this spring, as Hayley now smelled like it every day, the scent strongest after practice or a game, even after she had showered. And there were a lot of them, practices and games. Hayley had only missed a week's amount of practices and two games, when the senior pitcher had filled in for her. But even if she was weak to the point of collapse at home, when Hayley got to the field she was as strong as she had been last season, firing pitch after pitch to Melanie's mitt._

_Now, on an extremely bright Sunday in the first week of May, Hayley was strong. She had not missed school in two weeks, though I would find her in the back science hallway during third hour, sitting against the wall with her head between her knees. Sometimes it would only take minutes before she was able to lead me back to her class, kissing me goodbye outside the door. Other times it took the entire period, and even then she only stood up so the other students would not see her on their way to their next class._

"_Maxi," she called, in a way that let me know it was not the first time she had said my name. I smiled sheepishly and went over to sit next to her on the small white plate on the pitcher's mound._

"_It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" Hayley commented after a few minutes. The air was starting to smell like summer, with fresh cut grass and rain. Two birds argued with each other in a nearby tree and I saw a squirrel dart bravely across left field._

"_Yes," I said, pressing her palm against mine. "It is."_

"_I think we should go to the Jug tonight for dinner," she said, playing with my fingers. A slight breeze came up, blowing her hair, redder in the sun, around her face. Absentmindedly, I tucked it behind her ear._

"_The Jug sounds good. You want to invite anyone?" The sun lit up her face, supplying the life that she herself could not put out, the life that could now only light up her eyes on special days._

"_You feel like your sisters tagging along?" she asked me, lying back and spreading her hair out across the dirt. The colors almost matched and I smiled, lying back next to her._

"_Yeah, sure, they'll complain otherwise."_

"_Jillian too?"_

"_Well there's no way Mom is going to let us leave her home."_

_Hayley smiled, kissing me so I ended up saying, 'let us leave he-'. Sighing, she pulled back and rested her head on my chest, curling into my side._

"_I love you," she whispered, and the days seemed shorter.

* * *

_

_I heard the front door squeak open. "Max?" Hayley called, her voice bouncing around the high ceiling of the foyer. The door slammed shut and her footsteps padded across the floor and into the kitchen._

"_Max?" she called again, and I heard her walk back towards the front door before climbing the stairs. I willed myself to keep quiet and unmoving behind the bathroom door. As Hayley's footsteps got nearer, my heartbeat quickened along with my breath and I had to hold my hand over my mouth so she wouldn't hear. At last she was walking by._

"_Boo!" I shouted, jumping out right in front of her. She screamed so loud my ears started to ring._

"_Jeezus Hayley, scream much?" I asked, rubbing my ears though I could not keep the smirk off of my face. She smacked my arm._

"_You scared me to death!" she said, her hand over her heart. We both froze for a moment at her words before she quickly moved to kiss me._

"_Where are we going today?" she asked me, pulling me back down the stairs. _

_I stopped her halfway down and picked her up, setting her on the banister before running down to the bottom. "On the count of three," I said, grinning as she laughed._

"_One…" I said slowly, laughing also. "Two-"_

"_Three!" Hayley shouted, pushing herself so she started to slide. _

_I laughed out loud as she scooted her way down, her jeans and the banister not working together to be slippery. It took a good thirty seconds before she reached the bottom and jumped off in front of me._

"_That was kind of a fail," she said, laughing as I pulled her to me, smiling into her hair._

"_So I was thinking slurpee run," I said, at last answering her question. "We haven't had one in a while."

* * *

_

"_Why do they always get rid of the good flavors!" Hayley exclaimed, frustrated as she sipped her plain cherry slurpee._

_We were sitting on the hood of the van on the side of the 7Eleven, Hayley with her plain cherry and me with a Coke._

"_The world is against us," I said simply, pushing away the thought that this was actually incredibly accurate. Instead, I took Hayley's slurpee out of her hand and took the lid off. I then proceeded to take the lid off of mine and mix the two together before handing Hayley's back to her._

"_A little more exciting," I explained when she gave me a look. She shrugged and nodded, taking another sip._

_We were quiet then, our thighs pressing against each other as we watched the traffic go by. It didn't take me long before my cup started to make the slurping sound, so I set it to the side, thinking back to the night at the old slurpee building down the street. I could clearly remember Hayley's expression as she chased the lightning bugs, and how beautiful she had looked. When I felt her hand in mine, I squeezed, remembering the way she had played with my fingers, whispering those three words like it was an unconscious thought._

"_I want you to go to prom," Hayley said suddenly, pulling me back to the present._

"_What?" I asked, bewildered, turning to look at her though she stared straight ahead._

"_Prom. I want you to go. Go with all your friends, with Kevin and Stacey and Shannon. Have a great time, get drunk at the after party. I want you to go."_

"_Hayl-" I started but she cut me off, setting down her empty slurpee and turning to look at me, her eyes serious._

"_Max, please. I want you to…I need…" she trailed off, struggling to find the right words. At last she took a deep breath, fully turning towards me and holding my hand in both of hers. "I want you to go on living when I'm not around anymore," she said quietly, trying to hold my gaze but I dropped it, looking down at our hands. My heart was squeezing gently, giving me its first subtle warning. "I want you to hang out with your friends like you used to, and keep playing in your band, and date again. Please keep living and be that great person you were always meant to be. Join the Army still, or follow your music career as far as it takes you, and it will take you far. Max I want you to fall in love again-"_

"_Stop," I said quietly at first, but then louder. "Just stop. Don't even…don't even say that."_

"_Max, baby, please. We can't change this, we can't. It's the hand I was dealt-"_

"_Hayley, how could I ever fall in love again after you? Tell me that." My throat was tightening by the second and my eyes were beginning to burn. I squeezed her hand, raising my eyes to hers. "You were the one that made me feel alive, that set me free…" I trailed off, allowing Hayley to brush her fingers over my cheeks, her hands coming away wet._

"_Max, I love you. God, I am so in love with you it hurts. I don't want to die, I don't want to disappear from this planet forever, but that's my fate. And I need you to be able to accept it for me, so I can accept it myself. I need to know that when I'm gone you will still be okay."_

"_Hayley…"_

"_Max, please."_

"_I can't," I told her, grabbing her hands when she went to wipe my cheeks again. "I love you, and I won't ever forget you."

* * *

_

May fifteenth. I no longer used calendars (I had thrown them all away back in November) but I could not help it if my mind kept track for me. It was only sixteen days. Sixteen days until my sixteenth birthday. Pushing the hope away, I glanced at the microwave clock out of habit.

Melanie, who could now drive, was picking me up in an hour to take me to Max's show. It was his first show in who knows how long, the band's first show as Declared Chaos in place of Automatic Reaction. I thought back to the road trip, the night Max and I had come up with the name.

My Clif bar was suddenly unappetizing so I got up to throw it away, catching a glimpse of Patrick on the driveway as I walked by the window. Pausing for a moment, I watched him as he practiced a trick on a skateboard again and again. Shaking my head, I continued onto the pantry where the garbage can was. Patrick used to skateboard all the time, up until he hit high school. He was good too, teaching himself at least two tricks a day. And, unlike me, he could keep the board going under any circumstances.

"What are you doing?" I called through the open window. Patrick looked up in the middle of a trick, startled, and fell over. Suppressing my snickers, I ran out the front door to help him up.

"I don't know…" he said, brushing off my hand and pushing himself up. He picked a leaf off his t-shirt, and popped the board up with his foot. "Just thought I'd give it a try again."

"Well don't kill yourself," I said, smiling. He punched me lightly in the shoulder.

As I was about to go back inside he opened his mouth as if to say something before thinking better of it and abruptly buttoning his lips. I raised an eyebrow but he just got on his board and rode off down the driveway.

* * *

"Ready?" Melanie asked as I jumped into the beat up van. Max had bummed a ride with Tom earlier so Melanie had a set of wheels to get us to the P.

After just having her license for three weeks, Melanie was already driving like a pro, even pushing the speed limit at the right spots. We ended up making it to the venue with fifteen minutes to spare. As we headed inside, a slight throbbing pain started in my head but I pushed it away, concentrating on the waves of people rolling in and out of the door. Instead of letting the pain overtake me I grinned at the regular bouncer, Dash, as we walked by. Thinking instead of the show that was starting in fifteen minutes, I said hi to a few people from school as Melanie and I pushed our way to the front of the room.

We only made it halfway but from there I could see Max sitting behind his drums, checking last minute things. As he walked back off the stage I saw him search the crowd but he did not see me. It did not worry me, I knew I would see him as soon as he was done playing.

Suddenly, as Melanie told me what Stevie had done that morning, everything got louder and then quieter, pulsing back and forth. I tried to listen to what she was saying because she was laughing so hard as she spit the words out, but the pain was overtaking me. My mouth opened and I tried to say something to Mel, to tell her I needed to get some air, but no words came out. Instead she mistook it for laughter and nodded, still laughing.

"Funny, right?" she asked.

The pain, the pain was so much, worse than ever. I could practically feel the tumor on my brain, practically feel my head cracking down the middle.

"Mel," I gasped, completely out of air as I tried to force back the pain. It was then that she finally saw my face, which must have been contorted strangely.

"Oh my God, Hayley, oh my God."

She grabbed my arm, pushing past everyone on her way to the side of the room where the door to the back 'dressing room' was located. But I barely noticed. The pain was so much I just wanted to lie down in the middle of everyone. We burst through the last of the people and found the edge of the room. The hallway to Max's room was only a few feet away but then, through everything, I saw him and the band go onstage, preparing the last final things. Moans escaped my mouth uncontrollably and suddenly I felt like I was going to vomit.

And then it was like I was watching everything from up above, a third party. I could see myself, vomiting into the corner of the room, gripping my head because the pain was so much. I saw Melanie, her eyes wild with fear, shouting with everything she had to the stage. A few people near the front heard her and also yelled at Max who at last heard and glanced over.

It only took him a second, and then he was sprinting off the stage over to me, Melanie hanging back with tears of fright streaming down her face. I could see the people all around us back up, watching intently, someone whipping out a cell phone.

And then I was back in my own body, my eyes squeezed shut as I vomited again before sitting down and rocking back and forth. Moan after moan left my mouth as Max rubbed my back, my head, my arm, my leg. He was whispering something to me but I could not hear it over the noise of the venue, over the pain. But something inside of me told me to listen harder. So I did.

"I love you Hayley, I love you, I love you, I love you. It's going to be okay." I could hear the thickness in his voice, the faint call of Melanie for someone to call an ambulance. Tears were streaming down my own face though I was not sure whether it was from the pain or not. "Hayley. Hayley, I love you. I am so in love with you. I love you so much. More than anything." Max's voice was frantic as he wrapped his arms tight around me. "Stay with me Hayley, stay with me, I love you. I love you so much." His voice was in my ear but it sounded miles away. The pain, the pain.

"I…" my voice broke through, surprising me. The pain was unbearable; I knew what was happening, I just knew. "I love you," I gasped and then everything went black.


	19. Chapter 19

**Ending 1**

_Glancing up to the front of the room, my eyes immediately found Hayley's staring sweetly back at me. My throat tightened but I managed to smile at her, returning her lively grin. Her eyes were bright and full of life, filling me up inside. Sighing, I looked away from the picture to the beautiful sunflowers next to it._

_Suddenly, I could hear laughter, Hayley's mixed with my own, drowning out the murmurs in the hall from the people that were still there at the funeral home. The room I was in, the big one where they had held the service, was empty and dark, occupied only by me and lit only by bright candles up at the front._

_In my mind ran all the memories of the past months spent with Hayley. I could see her laughing at some joke or other while I sat next to her, grinning, with a hand on her knee. The memory shifted to the small building where we got slurpees. I was seeing Hayley's face again as she matched up our hands and said the three words that had meant everything. As another moment took its place in my mind, I felt a light hand on my shoulder, lips on my temple then underneath my jaw. My heart beat faster and then all the memories disappeared._

"_Hayley?" I whispered to the silence, feeling the hand switch to my other shoulder and run through my hair, which had grown out in the past couple months. "Hayley, I love you. I always will. I'll miss you, Hal, but I'll get through it. I love you."_

_My whispers stopped and then suddenly the hand was gone, the lips were gone, and then a real hand quickly replaced them. At that moment, I knew she was gone, up in Heaven or wherever you go. She was where she now belonged and for that I was grateful, though the pain in my heart overwhelmed me, almost tearing me apart._

"_Max? You okay?" Grace's voice was soft and genuine as I turned around and looked at her, meeting her concerned gaze._

"_Not yet," I whispered, standing up and allowing her to put her arms around me._

_Over her head I could see the last people leaving, as Mrs. Bridge and Mom talked quietly, their faces somehow at peace now. Dan and Dad were standing just inside the doors, also talking quietly, though they both looked over at me and nodded. I nodded back to them and then Grace left me to go join Carly, Melanie, and Patrick who had been talking about something softly out in the hall. I didn't see Jillian. And then Mrs. Bridge walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my middle, holding me for a minute._

"_You still come over and see us, okay?" she asked, pulling away and wiping her fingers quickly under her eyes._

"_Of course, Mrs. Bridge," I replied, my throat still tight, my voice cracking. She put an arm around my waist, turning us so we were looking up at the front again, at the enlarged picture of Hayley._

_The service had been beautiful, full of light and life, and Hayley's favorite flowers. Many people had had stories to give – her softball team, a teacher, Patrick, Jillian and Melanie, Carly and Grace, Will. Unable to go up to the front and speak myself, I listened intently to the stories everyone else told, silent sobs shaking my body the entire time._

"_It hurts so bad," I whispered, clutching my free hand to my chest, trying to hold myself together._

"_And it will for a while," Mrs. Bridge said softly, her gaze steady on her daughter's face though her arm tightened around me. "But she had such a great life. It was short, but it sure was good." _

"_I know she did," I murmured, the sobs beginning to shake my body again_. I love you Hayley_, I thought. _Always.

* * *

**I could not decide on which ending to make official.**

**So here's the second.**

* * *

**Ending 2**

The laughter filled my van as Hayley jammed the brake pedal and we flew forward, the seatbelts digging into our stomachs as they restrained us.

"Hayley!" I exclaimed, laughing. "Be gentle, please! Now, touch the gas."

She did, but with too much force and we shot forward, spraying up dirt and gravel. I was bent over in my seat, my stomach hurting from laughing.

"C'mon, Hal, you can do it!" Melanie exclaimed from the backseat. She had decided to brave it and be a witness as Hayley learned to drive. Back when…it had been happening, Hayley had not seen reason to learn, but now there was nothing she would rather do.

Hayley nodded to herself and glanced in the rearview mirror.

"You're right! Okay Max, what do I do?" she asked me, her wide eyes sliding over to look at me as she waited for my instruction.

"Put your foot on the gas and press down slowly," I said, sitting up straight and placing her hands on the wheel in the classic ten and two position. When I removed my hands she stepped gently on the gas pedal and we moved forward.

"Little bit more," I coaxed, turning to share a smirk with Melanie. She smacked my arm but laughed. Hayley's face was screwed up in concentration as she pressed more on the gas, too hard, and we shot forward again.

"Hayley! Brake!" I shouted in unison with Melanie as we came up to the curve in the road. She took her foot off the gas and slammed it on the brake, the seatbelts digging in again.

"Thank you, seat belt inventor," Melanie said, looking up at the roof of the van in gratitude. Hayley glared at her in the rearview mirror and then her eyes widened as she saw something else. Throwing open her door, she jumped out of the car. Melanie and I followed suit, racing after her only to see her meet Grace a couple feet behind the van.

"Let's go, guys! We're going to miss it!" Grace exclaimed and both her and Hayley were grinning, their faces excited.

"Where are you going?" I asked as the three girls sprinted back towards the house, their flip-flops smacking the gravel.

"Come on!" Melanie shouted over her shoulder, waving her hand, as they pounded down the road.

I followed quickly behind them, not quite sure what was going on, leaving the van where it was. It was not like anyone would steal the ratty old thing with the duct tape covering the hole-slash-dent in the front bumper. Arriving only ten seconds after them, I bent over, putting my hands on my knees.

"What the…" I paused to take a breath, "…hell is going…" another breath, "…on?!"

Looking around, I saw where we were at for the first time. The sky was darkening now, something I had not realized, and the moon was reflected in the lake that sat in the middle of our neighborhood. It seemed everyone was out of their house for at least one night, gathered together around one side of the lake, looking excitedly towards the other side. The Fourth of July, I thought. Of course.

It was only nine months ago that we all believed Hayley was going to die, something that tore us up inside every day. Now nine months seems like an eternity but when it was happening it was like Hayley's life could end any day and we almost tiptoed around her without letting her realize it. But now, nine months after that dreadful day, she is alive and healthy, her entire being shining with the miracle she holds inside of her. The miracle that I can hold in my arms, and kiss, and love.

The actual miracle is a phenomenon. One minute we all thought she was gone. And then her heartbeat came back and when the doctors looked, it seemed as though the tumor had shrunk immensely. Enough that they could simply stick a tube in her and pull it out. Not only did it have us baffled, but it had the doctors baffled. They had never seen anything like it.

Now, nine months later, I looked over at Hayley right as she turned to look at me, smiling. I extended my hand and she grabbed it with hers, letting me pull her to my chest. Our one-year anniversary was tomorrow but it felt as though I had loved Hayley for many more years.

"I love you," I whispered, resisting the urge to shout it at the top of the highest mountain.

The first firework exploded in the sky as she turned around to kiss me.


	20. Chapter 20

_The laughter floated through the quiet afternoon of the town, reaching my ears as I stood in the shadow of the screen door, looking out at the backyard. Hayley was chasing a little boy with dark hair, both of them laughing their heads off. The sun shone down on them through the leaves of all the oak trees that had been scattered across the yard, lighting Hayley's hair on fire. As I watched, a big grin on my face, Hayley at last caught up to the boy and grabbed him, both of them falling in a heap on the long grass that I would have to mow tomorrow._

_"Gotcha Frankie!" Hayley exclaimed, as he wrapped his tiny arms around her neck._

_She giggled, ruffling his hair. When she glanced over his shoulders at me I opened the door and walked out into the sun, letting the screen fall closed behind me._

_"Look Frankie! It's Daddy!" Hayley said excitedly, pointing to me._

_Frankie shrieked and ran at me, attacking my legs. I let him pull me down to the ground in victory._

_"I got you Daddy, I got you!" Frankie exclaimed, sitting on top of me. Hayley walked over to us as I chuckled, pulling her down too so she was sitting cross-legged next to me._

_"Why don't you show Daddy what you got from the zoo today?" she suggested, standing Frankie up and patting his two-year-old bottom._

_"Go on, Big Guy," I said to him, running my hand over the little hair he had. "Go get your toy."_

_He ran off into the house and as soon as the screen door slammed shut, Hayley bent down and kissed me. I laughed against her lips, kissing underneath her jaw. We both sat up then and I watched Hayley as she looked at our home._

_"Isn't it just beautiful?" she asked me, her eyes tracing the outline of the white wraparound porch that surrounded her blue Victorian home with the swing set in the big backyard._

_"Yes," I said, my eyes only seeing her. She looked absolutely peaceful as I moved closer to kiss her nose. Turning to me, she smiled softly, her hand fluttering down to her expanding stomach, seemingly without her notice._

_"Thank you, Maxipad," she whispered as we heard Frankie shouting happily inside. She had not called me that since I had graduated high school._

_For a minute, I was thrown back to that day, the graduation of the class of 2009. Blue cap and gown for the guys, white cap and gown for the girls. An endless mix of color as we paraded across the stage, accepting our diplomas as a ticket into the world that waited for us. Hayley had been sitting in that audience, grinning with such strength it was easier to see why they had let her out of the hospital just that day. That day had been one of the best in my life, coming in right after our wedding day, Frankie's birth, and that day at the slurpee building._

_"I love you," I said quietly, coming back to the present as her hand cupped my cheek._

_"Hello? Hello?" someone called from the front of the house._

_I heard car doors slam and excited voices. Just as Hayley and I reached our feet, Mom and Dad came around the corner, balancing tupperware containers in their arms._

_"Mom, Dad!" Hayley shouted, running to greet them._

_She took the food out of their hands, handing it to me so she could hug them. I laughed, my grin widening as Momma Bridge and Grace came around the corner, Grace's husband Tyler hurrying to catch up._

_"Oh, hi sweetie," Momma Bridge said to her daughter. Hayley hugged her tightly. "I can't believe you're twenty-five today," she said, pulling away to look at Hayley, who shrugged._

_"Happy birthday!" Jillian, who had just walked up, and Grace chorused as Momma Bridge came over to hug me._

_"You're taking good care of her, I can tell. Thank you," she said quietly. I smiled at her, nodding, before moving over to shake Dad's hand._

_"Where's Patrick?" Hayley asked, laughing excitedly as Melanie and her husband Alex walked around the corner of the house, their two-year-old, Stanley, running happily ahead. She hugged them both, her smile reflecting onto everyone's faces._

_"Julia had a strong craving for a rootbeer float," Momma Bridge said laughing, "so her and Patrick were stopping by the A&W in town on their way from the motel."_

_"And Dan?" I asked, turning to watch Stanley and Frankie race each other towards the sandbox._

_"Right here," he huffed, appearing around the corner just then holding an enormous boxed cake. I immediately moved forward with Alex and Tyler to help him with it, leading everybody inside to the house._

The graduation of the class of 2009 was exactly as Max described it, full of color and laughter and tears. Hayley had been healing miraculously at the hospital so they released her just that day. Max had gone on to Michigan State University for their Army ROTC program and had minored in music while Hayley had finished out her high school career as an all-state pitcher.

The day Hayley graduated from the University of Michigan, after having played four years of softball there, Max took her back to the now abandoned slurpee building down the road from the Spicklers' home. There, he proposed.

After a perfect wedding, Max saying 'I do' with his usual smirk, and a healthy pregnancy, Hayley and Max finally headed back to Missouri in search of the blue Victorian house Hayley had seen on the road trip. They found it almost immediately, a shining For Sale sign in the front yard. Two weeks after moving in, Hayley found her 1966 cherry red mustang, sitting in an abandoned lot. Together, Max and Hayley fixed it up, naming it Horatio II after Max's van, which had heaved its last sigh the week before he left to go to college.

Now, he spent his time teaching band at the town's middle and high school while waiting for the day the Army would officially need him to go overseas. Hayley, on the other hand, had gotten a job at the high school, coaching varsity softball. She had coached all through her pregnancy with Frankie, before picking it up again a few months after the birth. She planned to do the same through her second pregnancy; her, Max, and Frankie excitedly awaiting the due date of the new baby. As they had with Frankie, they were waiting until the birth to find out the sex.

Now, as the candles were lit on Hayley's cake, and the family gathered around her, Max could only watch, a peaceful smile on his face. As everybody began to sing, Frankie and Stanley loudest of all in their little kid voices, Max's eyes slid to the shelf behind Hayley's head. There in the very center sat the strip from the photo booth in Chicago's Rainforest café. One had been cut out from it and set next to a more recent photo, practically a duplicate of the original. Max's eyes traced over them, the picture Hayley laughing hard, her hand pressed against her mouth and her eyes squeezed shut, while the picture Max watched, a soft expression on his face.

As everyone else took their slices of cake into the living room, talking and laughing loudly, Max looked over at Hayley, who had been watching him. She walked over to him slowly, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling his hips to hers.

"We did it," he whispered, reflecting her grin. "We did it."

_It has been said that Max and Hayley's love for each other could move mountains, and I have never doubted that for a second. If you never believed in soul mates before...well, I guess now is the time to start.

* * *

_**Thank you. All of you. For sticking with me throughout all of this, all the rewrites and the sloppy, rushed chapters, and the sad scenes. Thank you for reading and talking to me and just letting me know that you were there.**

**Thanks especially to pixidancer22, for being with me from the start.**

**This was one hell of a ride for me, and it makes me sad that it's finally, officially over. Maybe one day I will revisit this, write a few onexshots about the wedding, or the proposal, or some moment in Hayley and Max's lives.**

**Please check out In The Absence of Doubt if you haven't already, and look for a new story in the next month!**

**You guys are the best. -**_zoomie_**  
**


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